Heh.. it's been a while...
>.>
Oh well anyways...
Today I got in a kind of fight with one of my "friends" in real life...
Yeah, it was uh... fun. But oh well. I really want to have her as a friend but it seems like she's gotta disect everything I do, and she can't just stay out of it. And then I did something she had just recently done and she starts freakin out on me... I just wanted to tell her to shut the ******** up and leave me alone, but yet again I can not seem to stay mad at her. I don't know why... It's just how it always has been. I think I'm even more depressed than usual lately. Oh well, I've thought about cutting again. Probably three times in the last hour. But the second I cut its gonna be oh Beau you're a retard! Not that it hasn't been like that all the time from Heather. If I ever have any doubts she calls me a retard, same thing if I'm ever depressed. So, in the end it just furthers the depression. Spiraling down into the depths of hell where the only visitors are pain of the body and pain of the mind.
The new moments where I am sane are too few and shortlived.
Uh huh.. and no this is not being poser-emo, cuz no one reads this s**t.
>.>
Oh well anyways...
Today I got in a kind of fight with one of my "friends" in real life...
Yeah, it was uh... fun. But oh well. I really want to have her as a friend but it seems like she's gotta disect everything I do, and she can't just stay out of it. And then I did something she had just recently done and she starts freakin out on me... I just wanted to tell her to shut the ******** up and leave me alone, but yet again I can not seem to stay mad at her. I don't know why... It's just how it always has been. I think I'm even more depressed than usual lately. Oh well, I've thought about cutting again. Probably three times in the last hour. But the second I cut its gonna be oh Beau you're a retard! Not that it hasn't been like that all the time from Heather. If I ever have any doubts she calls me a retard, same thing if I'm ever depressed. So, in the end it just furthers the depression. Spiraling down into the depths of hell where the only visitors are pain of the body and pain of the mind.
The new moments where I am sane are too few and shortlived.
Uh huh.. and no this is not being poser-emo, cuz no one reads this s**t.
