I've said a few times recently that the world feels like it's in a transitionary period, but what if I'm the one in a transitionary period. I've recently had the feeling that I can sense progress in the future, but it's all hinging on decisions made now. This kind of mirrors current politics and world events, but it's a gut feeling I get about the air around me.
A couple nights ago I came to several realizations and did some deeply personal reflecting and I have a couple of near-future aimed goals.
Firstly, writing on here has been immensely helpful and really increased my introspection and I'm feeling kind of good? It's weird. I think it's partially due to how ******** liberating it feels to get stuff off my chest, just throwing my cares into the void. So the easiest goal to achieve is to continue journaling here.
Secondly, I feel like useless s**t sitting at home all the time & not working. I'm going to start transcribing to bring in that extra cash. My next free morning will be spent starting this.
Thirdly, I want to start blogging on the wordpress account I made a bit ago. Putting my writing somewhere actual people could find me (opposed to here, where I feel fairly invisible.
There's a 0.01% chance of an actual human reading the entirety of my gaia journals. And that's what makes this so easy. I haven't gone into great depth on my social anxiety here, but I'm physically unwell when talking to people i don't know and feel apathetic about reaching out to old friends bc I'm depressed and socially repressed.
Thank you, internet for allowing me to shout into the void.
I'm really just gonna dive into all this on a gut feeling, it just feels right? like, this is the right path. I just can feel it.
I also want to do more for Marina, i feel like it's not good enough; I'm not good enough. She is the most brave, intelligent, silly, lovable little girl I've ever known. She deserves a mom whose got her s**t together.
XX_aomori_sakura_XX Community Member 
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