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Last week was really hard on me, especially the weekend. Tuesday night (Nov. 30th, i think) my friend Matt died. I didn't know until the next morning; a teacher told me. We weren't too close, but I always consitered him a good friend of mine. I think the last time I saw Matt was eight grade, with exception to our one or two "hello's" in the hallways my freshman year. He was an amazing person, and I wish that you all could have met him. It was so hard not to cry in school on Wednesday thru Friday. Friday afternoon, just after school, I went to Matt's wake. I'm glad I got to see him one last time and say good-bye. I'll see him again someday, though, so I geuss it wasn't really "good-bye", more like, "see you in a little while." I miss him a lot. It is amazing how lonely it feels when you lose one friend, even though you may have more than most. The next day (Saturday), I went to the memorial mass and the funeral. There were so many people there. I was glad to see how many people really cared about Matt, and how many people he touched. In seventh and eight grade, I was pretty depressed, to say the least; even though I almost always smiled. I geuss I smiled to try to hide the scars, hoping no one would notice. I truely wanted to end it all. But somehow Matt managed to fix things. Just before my eight grade year ended, I didn't want to end it all anymore, I wanted to live. He helped me get to where I am, and if it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't be here right now. I geuss my greatest regret is not being able to see that he was hurting, and not being able to help him the way he helped me. I wish I could have saved him, but I know that there was probably nothing I could do for him. Always remember the lost...never let them go, it may be painful at first but you'll make it through, if you let go of the lost, you lose the memories and hope of a new fate. Never forget...because they never will... I hope Matt, and all those who have been lost find the peace they had been so diligently searching for...
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'Till next time...
Koumou Neko · Mon Dec 13, 2004 @ 12:19am · 0 Comments |
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