. . .
so. i found out where tommy was. we uhm . . . were in touch the whole time, in fact.
. . .
i`m pregnant.
. . .
this is really scary, to tell you the truth. i always thought . . . that you`d take care of me and then a baby would . . . mysteriously appear for us to care for, like the two that i have now.
. . .
now i have a third.
it`s getting harder and harder to write. every time i do my hands shake and i feel like i want to cry. i want to send you these. i want to show you these. i miss you. every part of me misses you while i`m sitting here holding a child that isn`t yours, one that`s actually mine and this is the one that should have broken your heart. this is the one you should have stopped talking to me over. this is the one you should have decided to marry . . . marry . . . her . . . over. this mistake. the worst part is that i don`t really think it was a mistake. he`s a nice man. he said he`d take care of me. shal liked him. aika liked him. i liked him. it was nice to feel normal and accepted and not like the "queen" which i`ve come to understand means that i`m so above everyone else that i`ll never be able to talk to anyone again. hold a meaningful conversation with a stranger again.
the worst part is the assassination attempts, though, i guess.
i`ve decided that shalbriri needs someone to care for him. i can`t keep my eye on both him and aoi, i`m afaid.
aoi. blue. you`ll never guess whose kid he is. ah, no, you definitely will. aoi is too good of a hint, ahaha ~ it`s clearly unfair.
i`m thinking of marrying; the political kind. it`s all there is over here, and i`m okay with that. people are normally too busy to settle down, y`know? this play is so perfect for me. wish you were here . . . instead of -
i can`t delve into that right now. i`m going to go look for some sort of bodyguard to take care of my son. the last one i brought home didn`t blow over so well with my precious little miracle . . .
i`m not supposed to talk about that. i`ll get in trouble if they find out we had to hide the body. i`ll get in trouble if they find out who did it. he`ll be dead if they find out he did it.
 And The Sun Shines · Mon Mar 10, 2014 @ 08:18pm · 0 Comments |
