I'm depressed. I need not another psychiatrist to tell me this again, for I know my own symptoms. Social suicide when it comes to those I know, forcing myself to speak to others, constant emotional masks of happiness and joy when in the presence of people, and a need to just...Lie down, forget the world, sleep, and failure to eat when alone. I also get the odd urge to draw. Usually twisted things, figures with their hearts in their own hand, myself with a mask covered in jagged, uneven and odd shapes contorted into a face, just...Odd s**t for me. And I know the cause of my depression, but it's something I don't have control over. The feelings and emotion of another human being. I fell in love, promised to never hurt her, and broke my own promise months later. I tried to fix my ways, I actually managed to change myself entirely, do everything I said for two months straight...But then silence set in. And I knew I deserved it, I broke my word, her trust, and her feelings.
Oh well...At least she didn't cheat on me for being 'too close' like my first...
Trerandrim · Thu Oct 18, 2012 @ 07:48am · 0 Comments |