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Pierrot; A Smile Set In Crystal
The world was a large carnival.
It hasn't been long ever since he discovered that. In fact, it had only been a year.
12 months, 52 weeks, and 365 days.
Just that, a year.
Carnivals piqued him, so he guessed it was the best and most eye-catching description he could give this blasted world.
Personally, he didn't care. He had his own little world inside the big one. An isolated space. A place in his mind where he could be himself.
But it wasn't enough.
The world had that cruel way of breaking through barriers. Its claws would relentlessly pry into those sturdy-built walls and crush them, turn them into useless pile of ash and rubble.
And just like that, he was strewn ruthlessly into the dark and twisted world known as a carnival.
He used to not care. He used to be so loathing towards those who bathed themselves in cliche objects, those who always loved being so mainstream. He knew he wasn't different in any way, but he didn't want to be included in groups of people who only cared for certain things. After all, he had a vast look on the world.
Even if it was impossible for a human, a mere human, to be unbiased, he tried. He tried and tried to be neutral to everything that existed outside his boundaries. He cared only for the objects that were gathered inside his room.
His heart.
He was picky in what he let in-- he had his own standards. He set out a list of rules and traits that his friends were supposed to have. They had to be cheerful, they had to know this.
In short, they had to be of use to him.
He wasn't narcissistic, and he didn't just use them to benefit himself in ways you might be thinking.
See, he's lonely.
No one in school pays attention to him, since he's that wallflower who only colors the background for those who shine in the spotlight. And when he gets home, he hardly talks to his parents, not one to show weakness to them even by opening up the happenings of his day. He has his so-called twin but...
Even while with her, he feels the overwhelming burden of having to please everyone.
Their parents have their standards, and he always had to keep up with being the perfect child who has perfect grades, and a perfect conduct record.
In addition to that, no one practically listens to him.
Everyone around him, the so-called friends he's felt so 'comfortable' with, only serve as singers, and him, the mic. He just absorbs their sounds, listen with his ears, and just let them pour out unto him everything they vent about.
He doesn't mind. Or so he thought.
He was in no way, stupid. Sure, he has his times of being slow and inattentive, but he would never let anyone call him an idiot. He was observant and smart, even if those were the only traits he could ever boast about. After all, he never became first in anything he tried do.
And as time passed, and the more people who used his abilities as a mic, he grew irritated.
How long was he going to stay and act naive to the whole world?
He knew he would always be a minor character. A character only paid attention to because of his usefulness in certain situations. A minor character that was only given worth to because of his imperfection.
But no, no, no way was he going to keep this facade for so long.
Sure, he was an amazing actor when it came to masquerading as the cheery and feisty young teen who kept no one out, who always accepted people as they were.
People loved using him as a plaything.
That was originally the reason why he kept others beyond his wall, wasn't it?
And yet, unknown to him, he had been slowly dragged out and strewn into the mainstream world, where it was definitely difficult to perform.
He struggled, and struggled.
Acting.
Acting.
Acting.
Acting.
It was his most favorite, yet loathed hobby.
Smile to the left, smile to the right.
Just smile.
Smile.
Smile.
Smile.
Don't let anyone see your weakness.
Don't let them view you as vulnerable.
Smile.
Lighten up, they said.
Don't be such a killjoy, they said.
Just smile, my dear, they said.
So he did.
He smiled.
And smiled.
And smiled.
Smiles were already permanent for him.
Smiles set in stone and marble weren't so permanent. But crystal? Oh, so, so, so much they were.
Diamonds were crystals, and that was the hardest substance to ever exist.
They were enough. And onyx wasn't easy to see through.
Smile.
Go smile.
So he did.
Until. . .
They're never enough, hey.
A voice called out to him.
He was tempted to listen it, but he didn't.
He didn't.
He didn't, he didn't, he didn't.
So.
On with the play.
The show must go on!
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