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[Feb 2008]
The other day I read that one of the problems with bipolar disorder is that your personality changes rapidly and drastically and you can't cope with the changes.
So, here's my idea about what's making me buggers. I see the mind as a living, complex computer. When the user wants to change the computer, he writes a program that alters the greater programming. Change a value here, a file path here, and the cascading consequences results in a changed personality or viewpoint. I believe that I've 'written' these programs all the times I wanted to change something about my mind, and so they all are running in my subconscious, without active thought. Because of this, more than one program exists for certain subjects. My views on many things have been changed by former programs, and often several times, so now conflicting programs are running in tandem, causing my ideas to shift radically depending on what program has effect at the time.
My solution: Either write end parameters for them, create new programs to shut others down (a risky catch-22, methinks) or do a kind of disk defragment. I've never attempted it before in a scientific approach, but I think that it may be possible. Create a master program that I can activate when I need it, one that will organize and delete the unnecessary or conflicting programs.
One reason I think this is possible is that people program their minds every day. They just don't know they do. Counselors and the like say that a subject who is generally unaffected by stressful situations has good stress relief habits. The reality, I believe, is that they have programs that deal with the harmful bits of information and either disregard it, or organize it in a way that circumvents the most vulnerable areas of the mind. The same happens to some abuse victims or people who have experienced severe trauma, videlicet, their minds automatically activate a safety program that locks the malignant information away in the most heavily defended areas of the mind. It can take years of help for the person to unlock this, and the only way to unlock it is to either reprogram themselves, or render the former programming ineffective.
I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it...But I'm positive it can be done. I've been doing a lot of thinking on how the mind works, on the idea that it is a network of paths that each lead to separate areas of the mind, and that certain data is siphoned into specific areas for storage, depending on their hazardous nature.
Perhaps it's self-induced bipolar disorder. A product of my own mental experiments gone awry. Who's to say, but I do want to try this defragmenter. They say that some people delve to deeply into themselves and lose it completely. I can believe that now...
Tapeworm Love · Tue Nov 23, 2010 @ 07:11pm · 0 Comments |
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