Totally random quotes (anything in parentheses is my personal commentary on that particular quote):
"A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things." - Herman Melville (The funny thing is I was mouthing that saying as I was reading it. xd )
"Lead, follow, or get out of the way." - Mom
"Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself." - Peter Da Silva (Agreed.)
"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand." � Putt�s Law
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." (I love my friends! biggrin They are so awesome.)
"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them." � Johann von Neumann (Yeah, it's also like that in biology.)
"It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper; so cry away." - Charles Dickens (I like this because so many people think that crying is a sign of weakness, and this proves that it is a positive thing, not a negative.)
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness . . . it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair . . . in short, the period was so far like the present period . . . ." - Charles Dickens (Lol.)
"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." � Pj O�Rourke
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." � Woody Allen (I have been so lost in Chinatown.)
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter." � Winston Churchill
"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." � Mark Twain (I laughed so hard when I read this quote.)
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."- Oscar Wilde
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
"Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
"An intellect rivaled only by garden tools." (Lmao! Priceless!)
"You know when you're at a red light and the person in front of you moves up a couple inches you are compelled to move forward as well? Are we really making progress towards our destination? "Whew, I thought I was going to be late, but now that I'm nine inches closer. I think I'll stop for coffee and a Danish!" (It's so pathetic, but a lot of us do it.)
"The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it to his mate. So, 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads . . . and we wonder why the ocean is so salty." (This comment has made so many guys sick. Lol.)
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones (Don't I know.)
"Be kind to unkind people, they probably need it the most." by Ashleigh Brilliant (Yeah. Agreed.)
"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other b*****d die for his." - George C Patton (I do NOT support any war, I just found this funny.)
"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams."
"Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"That thing, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift, and you want to laugh, and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it'll go away, all at the same time." (I've been there. It was fantastic.)
"Three kinds of people, those who do something, those who watch something, and those who wonder what the hell is something."
"Written in pen,
Sealed with a kiss.
If you love me,
please tell me this.
do you love me or do you not,
you told me once but I forgot.
so tell me now,
and say the truth,
so I can say that I love you.
Out of all the boys I ever met your the one I wont forget,
And if I die before you do.
Ill go to heaven and wait for you,
If your not there by judgment day.
ill know u went the other way,
Ill give the angels back their wings and risk to loose everything.
Just to so my love is true,
I�ll go to hell to be with you." (This is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read.)
"A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said "No". She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said "No". Then she asked him if he would cry if she left him, he said "No". She had heard enough; she needed to leave. As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said "you are not pretty, you are beautiful. I don�t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you left, I would die." (******** up to start with, but sooooooooooooooooooo sweet to end with.)
"Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely There
C - Can Do
D - Damn Good
E - Enormous
F � Fake"
"Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience..."
"What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep."
"We're the largest street gang in America. We're the Police!" (Lol! It's true!)
"I've Got Nothing Against God... It's His Fan Club I Can't Stand." (I do not mind people who appricate god, it just gets on my nerves when people talk about it constantly.)
"I'm a drunk, not an alcoholic. Alcoholics have to go to meetings." (I don't drink, I just thought this was funny.)
"Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken."
"And when he gets to Heaven
To Saint Peter he will tell.
One more Soldier reporting sir,
I've spent my time in Hell." (Quite possibly the truest quote I have ever heard.)
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you." (The funny thing is, all my best friends are insane, in a good way. biggrin )
"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." (This isn't true all the time, however it is a good saying.)
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." (Yup!)
"My love for you is as much a part of the universe as the sun, moon and stars. The only difference is that my love will last longer."
"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."
"I love him, oh yes I do. He is for me, and not for you. If by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face."
"Don't go for looks, it can deceive; Don't go for wealth - even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile because only a smile makes a dark day seem bright."
"You can fall from the sky, you can fall from a tree. But the best way to fall is in love with me!"
"Last night, I was matching up stars with every reason why I loved you. I was doing great - until I ran out of stars."
"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."
"They say you only fall in love once, but that can't be true . . . Every time I look at you, I fall in love all over again."
"You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince!" (Kissed my share of frogs, now I have my prince.)
"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it." (Hell yeah.)
"Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise."
"A friend is one who knows all about you and likes you anyway."
"If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote."
"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
I hope you enjoyed reading all this! I hope you found some of them amusing.
Jemonas_Cure Community Member 
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