i dont know why but the past couple days ive been really over emotional. I cant explain it and i dont really have a reason. sometimes thats just how it is. The only way i can express most emotions is to cry .. im sad well duh i cry ... but when im angry ... or stressed ... or anything else i cry. and i guess id just like to say sorry for all the crying to a certain someone.
oh and p.s. to that someone ... when a girl is crying and she doesnt come sit next to you ... that generally means she wants you to come to her and try to help sweatdrop
on to why ... the other day i was on the way home from borders at midnight with pj ... generally we talk and it goes by quick and its all good ... but this time for whatever reason he was completely silent the whole way (i think because i was slowing him down and that was making him annoyed with me) but all that silence left room for thinking ... and when i think the one i love is mad at me i tend to think not so good thoughts ... so i was thinking about things i shouldnt have been thinking about ... like my family and stuff in a negative way ... i thought before a couple weeks ago everyone was fine with me and pj and the whole situation turns out i was wrong and everyone in my family hates him and he doesnt much like them back because he knows. well .... i donno if you know this but its not easy having your family hate the person you live with or the other way around. so i am at an empass here .... should i go with what i want or should i go with what my mom asked ... course theres no question anymore i told pj my problem and i told him i dont want to go alone so no matter what hes coming ... but my moms not going to be happy. she says she doesnt want him to come because when hes there i dont spend any time alone with her ... well correct me if im wrong but you havent been out of the house alone for the past 6 god damnned years for more than a few min at a time sept on few occations when he knew you couldnt be cheating on him stare not exactly the same situation here because when i go places i want him to come with me ... yes im clingy if thats what you want to call it i call it affectionate but whatever i dont care ... as long as he doesnt mind (which i dont think he does) im going to continue being clingy because it meakes me happy. and you know if you want to see me so damn bad ... come visit me for once you have a car you dont have to spend 80 bucks to get here 20 tops for gas yes but thats a hell of a lot easier for you being as you have a job and i dont.
it makes me kinda sad that the only people to visit me thus far have been tammie and amber ... gramma will be here friday whee and that rocks but it kinda sucks that my own mom for whatever reason cant find the time to drive a couple hours out of her way to see her daughter.
as for you jason, stop pretending you dont agree with everyone else ... you know him better than anyone else in the family and before i met him you thought he was awesome but as soon as i left home you changed your mind ... why? hes the same person he was than he hasnt changed ... why wont you stick up for him or me for that matter?
Devilish Desire · Thu Jan 19, 2006 @ 01:48am · 4 Comments |