Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Things Shonjan isn’t allowed to do!
- Not allowed to be within 10 feet of catnip
- Or to drink catnip tea
- Or do anything else with it
- Under ANY circumstances
- Not allowed to be in the mall after hours
- Not allowed to frolic
- Not allowed to talk in Olde English
- Shall not be referred to as “The Weather Man”
- Or “Cat Man,” or “Kitty”
- He may however be called “Sir Toby”
- Not allowed to get hit by cars
- Or any sort of moving object
- Not allowed to have an open umbrella in the mall
- Or in school
- Or in any indoor space
- Not allowed to be in the closet
- Not allowed to walk though a drive-through
- Not allowed near a dissection kit
- Not allowed to leave Icamane for a cat, drugs, scalpels, or a closet
- Or any combination of the four
- Not allowed near recording equipment
- Not allowed to skip
- Not allowed to use logic to disprove the existence of various solid objects
- Or reality
- Or matter
- And he may not use logic to disprove logic
- Or English
- Not allowed to get struck by lightning
- Not allowed to stick a fork in a toaster while the toaster is on
- Not allowed to stare and the sun at night
- Only allowed to make a country if Icamane gets to make the religion
- Must be an atheist Wuddist Biccan
- May not deny reality
- May not sing the time warp song
- But may sing Sweeney Todd
- May not have sharp objects
- May not have Duct Tape or Superglue
- Must wear lilac every day
- May not be a pyromaniac
- May not go commando
- May not drive or cook unsupervised
- Must wear a mismatched article of clothing always
- Must worship Pink Floyd
- May not have any “pot”
- May not place Icamane in a shoe
- Must go to Icamane’s Harry Potter church
- May not do crack
- May not “visit” hobos
- Or steal from them
- Not allowed to have power tools
- Not allowed to be left in the theatre alone
- Or be locked in the telephone booth
- Not allowed to burn down cities
- Not allowed to randomly challenge Obama to a swordfight for the Presidency