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A somewhat serious subject... |
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For those who have read most or all of my journal entries, you probably realize that most of what I write (poems and such) is about pain and hate. Emotions that I feel often, almost too frequently. But now, I'm sick of writing about that s**t. I'm sick of feeling like this. Unlike most people, I live for change (and argument, but that's a different matter). Now, this isn't going to spark a change in personality for me, I'm still going to be the same. There's just different emotions that I'm curious about, the foremost being love. Note: this does not mean I am going to run out and get a boyfriend.
I have never felt love, outside of family members. And yes, I realize I am only 16. What I mean is I've never been attracted to anyone. Physically or otherwise. Sure, I like people's personality, but I can't say it goes any farther than friendship. I've had girls (and guys) try to convince me that a certain guy looks hot, but I just can't see it. I'm definetly not a lesbian, either. I can't stand girls. They're bitchy, ignorant, concieted, and illogical. I don't care who you are, if you are a woman, you are at least 3 out of those 4. Not to say men aren't, but it's much more prevalent in women.
Anyway, back to love. Ideally, I would like just like to experience that emotion once, then go back to how I am. Not sex, damnit. Emotion. But I know it's impossible. So either I live my life as I am now, or take a leap that has no appeal to me. As much as I enjoy change, I'm not even going to try the latter. Not right now, at least.
Yeah, I just had to get that out. It's after midnight, and no one was online. Damn, I have an AP Biology project due tomorrow...
DrasBrisingr · Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 05:01am · 1 Comments |
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