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Dear Kiyo:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I threw up outside of Chicago and I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood test as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities to hate the Boston Celtics.

Good luck on your short term leave from jail,
HK



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