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I'm a co-dependent.
The one thing I always prided myself on not being. But now, here I am. I'm depressed, I'm stressed, I'm worried about the future. And what's the first remedy that comes to mind? The embrace of a lover and a friend.
Yes. Because I need to rush to someone else when life gets hard. I'm just that weak.
You would think that, with the given circumstances, I would learn to deal with things on my own. But no. I just spiral and twitch and whine. I'm not coping, I'm regressing and scapegoating. I'm curling on my side with my knees pulled up to my chest and crying myself to sleep everynight like a ******** emo kid.
I'm pointing the finger of blame at everyone else who could have had any effect possible on any bad thing in my life. I'm snapping at people, I'm drawing away from people, I'm beating myself up. Currently.
What's worse is I know I'm doing it, but I don't know how to stop. I'm picking up all these other coping techniques, and trying to use them, but everytime I get a new stress I get thrown off my groove and I panic. Regress right back.
Arg. neutral
 Captain Vagina · Wed Oct 05, 2005 @ 03:50am · 0 Comments |
