Well, things are so...perfect with me and Ethan now. It's like I've finally found something that works for me. This is right. But the complicated part: Anna. I read her journal on Gaia (I will not mention her Gaia name) and it seems as though she thinks that it's different now. She's making it different by not hanging out with us when we're together. I mean, we even make it a point not to hug and kiss in front of her (as much... ninja ) and she still doesn't like to hang out with us together. But now I have realized that she is over Ethan...which is good...because if she wasn't over him it would just complicate things severely. And if she is reading this then I am sorry for jumping to conclusions and accusing you of still loving him...it was just the first logical answer. But I understand now, and I'm sorry.
But yeah, back to the perfectness with me and Ethan. It really is just perfect. I see us being together for a very long time. (Of course I do realize that it won't last forever and if I did think that then I would be a very stupid and naieve teenager) But I just...love being with him. And I used to love it when the three of us (him, me, and Anna) would all hang out but now we don't hang out anymore. (even though we aren't all huggy and heart around her) We hang out with Anna separately but the three of us together...well, it's not weird for me and it's not weird for Ethan but it's weird for Anna.
And she also thinks I am being annoying and distant (according to her journal) which I am not. I just don't like talking to her online because she gets all scream online for some reason. In person she's nice and fun but online she's a totally different person. And she's the one being distant from me. I mean...I'd love to hang out with her like we used to but she won't come over and talk to me anymore except for the occasional "Hey, how ya doing?" as we're walking down the hall. Even in the mornings I believe she makes it a point to avoid me and Ethan. Because well, Ethan is a very...public person. He likes to hug and kiss and does not care who is around. I, on the other hand, know that about 20 other girls at our school like him so I choose to NOT be that public.
But in the mornings he'll put his arms around me and it's not that I don't like it it's just I know that that is why Anna avoids us. I miss the old days. I'm glad I'm with Ethan, but I miss the old days. And now it seems as though Anna and I have nothing to talk about anymore...I can't exactly talk about how wonderful Ethan is since she'll just roll her eyes and I don't want to talk about Ethan around her. I mean, usually our conversations were about Ethan...because she liked him and I would give her advice about it. Because at the time, I liked somebody else and I wanted those two to be together so much...but it just didn't work out. And then I realized how much I really liked him. And I had liked him for a while...I just didn't acknowledge it.
Okay, this has been a really long journal entry so I guess I had better be going. Please leave comments or PM me. I don't really care. Thanks for reading.
~**~*Kates_91*~**~
 Kates_91 · Tue Oct 04, 2005 @ 03:14am · 2 Comments |
