[ she goes by ] rachyourface[ and my name is ] Roxanna Gabrielle Osbourne
[ i'll let you call me ] Roxie, Rox, Rozzie, Ozzy, Rizzo [ and i'll kick your a** if you call me ] Roxanna, Anna, Ann, Gabrielle, Gabby, Gab, Gabe, or anything else I decide I don't like
[ i've been seen as ] funny, sarcastic, obnoxious, smart-a**, a jokester, gorgeous, a tom-boy, athletic, laid-back, lazy, hot, a b***h [ and you know... ] that's pretty much exactly right.
[ yes, i am a ] girl [ and i kissed a girl, but i prefer ] guys
[ yay! i'm a ] Ravenclaw!
[ my birthday's on ] March 30th [ so i'm an ] Aries [ and i'm ] 17 going on 18
[ this is my ] 7th year at Hogwarts
[ i'm illegitimate child of ] Muriel O'Bannon and Gabriel Osbourne [ so my blood is ] half-and-half
[ yes it is a big wand... ] it's 15 [ inches of ] rowan [ wood, with a core of ] unicorn hair
[ you shiny beast ] a rhinocerous
[ and i don't have a pet cause ] i just never wanted one
[ quidditch! ] oh yes. beater's reserve.
[ i spy with my little eye ] Right. Well, I'm pretty hot, I'm not going to lie. I don't try to be or anything. I don't wear makeup (most of the time), but I have huge feathery black eyelashes, framing pretty hazel eyes. They're like, a light brown, with a little green in them, and gold. Very pretty. My nose is straight, and kind of small. I have the facial proportions of a Barbie doll. Well, almost, but you know what I mean, right? No, don't get me wrong. I'm not bragging, but they told me to describe myself, so I am.Well, let's face it. I've got all the proportions of a Barbie doll...if she bulked up from playing Volleyball and Quidditch all the time. I've got waist-length, wavy, dark brown hair, and my skin is pretty dark as well. Really tan, you know, I spend a lot of time in the sun. I don't know where I get my coloring from. My dad, maybe. My mom's Irish, and she's pretty white. Real white. But with dark hair and lots of freckles. I don't know. I haven't got any freckles, but I think they're cute. Other than that, I'm really tall, have great legs, and an excellent chest.
I'm not slutty at all. I'm pretty modest, most of the time, actually. I wear actual clothes. People might misconstrue things because I'm confident in a bikini, and I'm not all that shy about my body. I don't flaunt anything, but I'm not ashamed. I'm not that into style, my favorite thing to wear is just jeans and a t-shirt. And I have a thing for cowboy hats. I dunno, I just love them. I'm not a girly-girl in the least. I don't do makeup, don't spend hours on my hair, don't worry so much about what I'm wearing. I just like to be comfortable.
[ baby just ask me ] My life story is a pretty interesting one. It all started, once upon a time, blah blah blah...Muriel O'Bannon (my mother) was a squib, and the only daughter of Laurel O'Bannon. Her dad died when she was just a girl, so I never met him. I don't know how he died, either, no one's ever told me. Anyway, on with the story... She went to Muggle schools. Elementary, middle school, high school, and finally college. A really good Muggle university in Dublin. That's where she met my dad. He was so much older than her, almost ten years, but she loved him. She couldn't help it.
I was concieved. I'm sure you can figure out how. But my father (Gabriel Osbourne) was married, and had kids of his own, and she was too afraid to even tell him. She ran back home, and Nana took her in, and raised me like I was her own. They named me Roxanna after some great great aunt or something, and Gabrielle, after the father who didn't want me, who my mom was still in love with.
Nana was thrilled, when I showed magical abilities when I was a kid. She was terrified that the O'Bannon line of magic would disappear. We never had a whole lot of money, but both Muriel and Nana worked hard. Then one day came, when I turned eleven, and I got my Hogwarts letter. Nana literally jumped for joy. Her wish came true when I was sorted into her house of Ravenclaw.
Now I'm in my seventh year at Hogwarts. Sad to see it ending so soon, but thrilled that I was able to go at all. It seems like I've got everything I want. A loving Nana, a place to go home to for the summer break. Sometimes I'm even grateful for Muriel. And did I mention, the most amazing, handsome, hunk of a boyfriend anyone could ever ask for? I guess I'm pretty blessed. Don't tell anyone I said that.
[ behind these hazel eyes ] I'm the kind of person who likes to be funny. And I succeed. I know, sometimes it's at the expense of others, but I mean, if it's for a laugh, what better cause is there? No, I'm serious, I really don't give a ********, get over it.I don't really fit in around girls my age. Girls my age suck. They're prissy little whiners, too concerned with their hair or what 'what'shisface' thinks of them to actually take the time to live life. I guess they also don't find my sense of humor funny. So I tend to gravitate toward the male species. I'm pretty much one of the guys. But come on, don't call me a tom-boy. I don't want to be one of them.
I guess, I'm kind of...ill-mannered. Yeah, I make fart jokes. Yeah, I can burp the alphabet (wanna hear?). It's fun. It's what I do, it's who I am, and most importantly, it's what gets laughs (and funny looks, which are also great). You could call me a class clown, I guess. I tend to not care what other people think, and I speak my mind all the time. There's hardly ever a thought on my mind that I won't speak or act out. I'm pretty much just...me, one-hundred per cent. I'm not much into partying, but I will, if I'm in the mood. I can chug a firewhiskey like no one's business, but I don't really like to be out of control. I am not a slut, however popular that rumor seems to be. I go out with guys I like. I sleep with guys I love. And I'm not sorry if that offends anyone, because it's my business, so get your nose out of it.
I eat a lot. I guess it's good I'm so into athletics (volleyball and Quidditch, mostly), or I'd be a complete fatass. I can not resist me some cake. Or Twinkies. Twinkies are my guilty pleasure. And I'm definitely a meat-eater. And I don't give a ******** if you're a vegitarian. In fact, I'll probably make fun of you for it. But don't feel bad, I make fun of everyone. In fact, it's probably a bad sign if I don't make fun of you sometime. That means you're invisible. Better go get that checked out in the hospital wing!
I have to say, I'm not much of a romantic, but I do like to be treated like a lady, every once in a while. Some nice manners, you know. Pull out a chair, get a door, that sort of thing. Just do it, you jackass. I can be a really forceful person, if there's something I want, or I've been offended. I have a violent temper, so do try not to set me off. It's not easy, but it can be done, I promise.
I've had my histories with various boys...I'm sure you'll hear the Aidan Reese rumor soon enough. Yes, I dated him for a while. I slept with him, too, if you really wanted to know. And I thought he loved me. Well, I wasn't the first, and I won't be the last. Just to set things straight, we are on friendly terms. I do not hate him, nor did I ever threaten a girlfriend of his. It didn't happen, get some new stories to obsess over.
Ah, right. I guess I should explain why I'm a Ravenclaw, since it's not immediately apparent. See, my brain is like a sponge. I soak up everything. Everything. I do really well in my classes because I can remember everything I was taught. I don't know what it is. Photographic memory sort of thing, only, not just with images. I can remember a conversation from ten years ago word-for-word. So, obviously, I'm pretty good with names and all that, unless I feel like bugging the s**t out of you by asking over and over.
I've also been raised...I dunno, a bit differently than most kids, I guess. See, my grandmother (I call her Nana) is really, really chill. She gets me. She gets teenagers. She gets everything. She's completely with the times. Muriel's sort of the fussy mother type, but she never has much of a say in anything. It's Nana's house, Nana's rules, and they're never all that strict. All she cares about is that I'm having a good time. Now, that could come back and bite me in the a** someday, but for now I'm pretty thankful for it. I've also never had a dad around, so no male influence. That could be part of why I'm so over all the girly crap. I've had it thrown at me all my life, and when I get to school, I just want to escape.
I don't say 'excuse me', I don't say 'please' (unless I'm being persuasive), I don't say 'thank you', and you are most definitely not welcome. I am who I am, and you can accept it, or you can just be annoyed by it until you don't have to be around it anymore. GET THE ******** OVER IT.
Bye.[ super ]
Sean<3
cake
volleyball
nighttime
Quidditch
Twinkies
sunshine
Nana
surfing
the beach
Ophelia
oldies
cowboy hats<3
bikinis
[ intolerable ]
veggies
kids
girly-girls
high heels
whiners
promiscuous sex
dirty rumors
cold weather
purses
tree-huggers
[ dirty little secrets ] I can't stand peas. Like, I'm deathly afraid of them. They are the nastiest, most disgusting...just UGH. Don't ever get in my face, 'cause I will straight up slapabitch. And don't get into my personal life unless you're invited in.
I also have a rag doll that I sleep with. Shutup.
