So it's friday night and I'm all set to spend the weekend with my sister in her new house. I've got my pillow, my notebook, and my pathetic sack of clothes however my sister who's driving is obviously tired and has been complaining about the seemingly constant bombardment of red lights upon us. I can tell I'll be staying up tonight by myself without anyone to talk to.
We finally pull up to the house and my sister is slow about getting out. She finally gets my chair out but it seems she hasn't completely put the thing together. As I finish fixing the chair and getting my things, she takes some things into the house and comes back out for her son.
She walks back into the house and I follow her in. As I drop a wheel into the house I see something huge flutter on the shelf above the fireplace. My first thought is: there's no way there is an insect that big. As I get into the house and take a closer look I realize what it is and yell to my sister who is in the hall: "Holy crap! There's a bird in your house."
Here's the setting: When you enter the house, the wall to the right has a chair and a desk in front of a window with curtains. On the wall opposite of the front door is a small love seat with two blankets on it. To the left of the, the wall slightly curves into the fireplace. There is a shelf with several pictures and cards above the fireplace. Behind that wall is the kitchen and to the left of it is the hall that leads to the bedrooms and bathrooms. This is the battlefield. The mission: get the bird out of the house.
By now I've dropped my stuff on the floor and I have my pillow over my head praying to God that this bird doesn't run into my face as I try to shoo it out of the door and my sister is running through the hall screaming trying to get into her room. The bird flies onto the curtains and my sister slowly creeps into the hall and closes the door to her son's room. I use my pillow to swing at the bird, hoping he will fly out. Instead he flies across the living room into the hall all the while scraping his head against the ceiling.
My sister runs back into her room, slamming the door. Now I can hear her on the phone asking people how to get a bird out of a house.
Plan #1: Cover the bird with a quilt and carry him out. This plan might have worked if wasn't so fast and didn't fly to another corner of the room everytime I got close to it.
Plan #2: Lead the bird out with bread crumbs: I tell you now that this bird was in no way concerned with eating. So the only thing this resulted in was a bunch of piece of bread being thrown across the room and a good slice of bread being wasted.
Plan #3: My sister actually considered killing the bird with the ceiling fan... cry heartless
By now the bird is all over the place; on the curtains, the shelf, the chair, the desk, the fireplace, and I actually find it impressive when it hands upside down on the door frame. My sister changes clothes and finally works up the courage to come outside. She hurries to the kitchen, finds a broom, and begins threatening the bird saying that it's going to get out voluntarily...or involuntary man-slaughter.
At last the bird lands on the curtain again and I tell my sister to hand me the broom. I've thrown the pillow aside (by now it's just slowing me down). I ease up to the curtain. I slowly sweep the broom across the wall from my left and force the bird in the other direction.
Mission complete: the bird is finally out of the house and now my sister is calling everyone to give them the news update. Not even fifteen minutes at the house and the action has started. This is why I love visiting my sister.
Yours truly, CD.
cddog Community Member 
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