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Today I was home all alone and I was so bored! Everyone had something better to do than talk to me! crying That's not that hard, but I hate it when people have lives that don't involve me. I hate it even more that I don't have anything separate from them. Everyone has something to hide, something that they don't want me to know. That's understandable, but I wish that I had something of my own that people don't know. That would make me feel less betrayed when suddenly I find out that someone close to me "forgot" to share a really important bit of information. I'm not talking about anything or anyone specific now, I'm just venting. Don't read this and be like "I hope she's not talking about me". I'm talking about just about everyone. I guess this could be considered a cry for sympathy or wallowing in self-pity, but no one HAS to read this, so please don't criticize. I feel so left out though. Everyone has a lot going on. I feel kind of like I'm in the center of a hurricane. My life is simply nothing and everyone else whirls around me saying hello when they can. I guess I'm buisy a lot too but there's nothingd that I hide. Everyone knows me just the way I am. Or maybe they don't. I'm not sure if everyone knows that I actually have a lot of hatred and resentment in me. I'm not sure if everyone knows that I feel left out. I hate myself for all of this. I don't want to be self-pitying. I hate people who do that. My only condolence is that people don't HAVE to read this, they only have to listen to me whining if they want to. Gah, the more I talk, the more I sound like I'm trying to be all noble and stuff. I AM NOT. I make friends by clinging onto people. I bad-mouth a surprising amount of people. I like to gossip. I hold grudges. I resesnt people for what they have that I don't. I show off. I try to be the center of attention too much. I'm really just an immature baby.