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Today in class i will talk to him further away from the place known as comfort. No, it never happened i dropped the guitar and made a huge screeching noise that was terrible. he doesn't like me, in facs he didnt wrap himself around me!, im not even that old yet! he doesn't flirt with me, or smile in my direction. he looks through me as though i am a sheet of see-through paper that you look at once and then turn away forever. he will never know the pain i feel the urges to die... all because i feel so very alone in this world that is too, dying. i have turned my back on the world and therefore,wish to not be seen. yet to be heard. it was my birthday yesterday. i did ot feel like celebrating. instead i felt like going up to my room and crying because this marks the year when the suffering started. my sister calls me a baby and my mom and dad think i am the laziest person ever. they have seen nothing. i love to run, the wind goes through the loose strands of my hair as they brush upon my face. I also have found a sparked interest in a classical guitar. i have also started to write many dark poems about torture and cruelty. and lyrics. when i leave this earth and become immortal i promise to one of you that i will send you a message. i want people on this earth to miss me. i want people to think of how even as i was crying, i managed to smile and laugh only to keep from crying. but most of all i want to be loved. for someone outside of my family to wrap their arms around me and tell me that they love me and would die for me. sure your parent s say this every night, but is it just ingraved into their brain, or is it real. if it was, would they be telling you how rude and ill-mannered and ridiculous and scary you were the next day? and my sister? no, she has so many friends who love her, even though she has so many imperfections they still love her? things they would never dream? o, and her boyfriend that she has only known for two months. she has already kissed him. i have always thought of a kiss as something that is so sacred, it is not to be wasted upon a moment of sarcasm. but to represent to another that you feel deeply for them.