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I knew this would happen, but I thought "why worry about it? Maybe if I don't think about it, it won't." I believe that that was the right approach in concept, but it didn't work. Yay. That is so wonderful. I just don't know what to do. I want to move on. I want to be happy, but I have this constant fear of being replaced that I don't know how to get rid of. I don't really trust anyone to stay my friend after I haven't seen them for awhile and I'm always convinced that they'll find someone they like better than me. Why? It's so weird. It's not like that's happened a lot. It's happened once and that was...what. Four years ago? Yeah. You'd think I'd be over that by now. Which I am, totally, but there's still this fear. I'm such a spoiled brat. I need all the attention to be on me or I'm convinced that no one likes me any more. I hate this. I hate always being afraid. I really, truly don't want to be afraid, but how do I get over this? I've tried not thinking about it, I've tried thinking about it to find an answer but so far neither has worked. I feel so mean and stupid. I really couldn't wait for Emily to come to HM and I really want to be happy that she's so accepted but.......we're so similar. We have so many of the same qualities, here I am fearing that she'll replace me and stuff. How do I get over this??? Before she came, I thought something like this would happen, but I just ignored it. That's what I was talking about before. I want to ignore it now. Maybe that will be the best thing to do. Because I love Emily and all in all it's SO much better her being at HM, and I want to just enjoy it. I'm also a stupid hypocrite because poor Du had to go through this with me. God, what is WRONG with me? I'm a leech who takes other people's friends and then doesn't even let MY OWN BEST FRIEND into the group because I'm so territorial. I cannot stand it. I really can't. I want to change. I don't enjoy this. I don't. I want to be happy and secure. I'm really trying to be happy for Emily because I love her and I love it when she's happy. I don't know, maybe I just need some time to adjust or something. Whatever.