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Insainity, Boredom, <3, Patterns or just something strange? |
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I feel like there's a good full four or so me's. One of me, hates humanity, hates closeness, contact, being with others, and people, because they are so stupid. Yet at the same time, there is part of me which has nothing to do, as everyone I know is away right now, so I can't talk, socialize, see, feel, or even really understand them. I've gotten to the point where most games hold my interest for about a week, but then I need something new. I've completed them, found all the tricks, removed the fun from it. At the same time, I can't stop thinking about Gaia, Games, Or my friends, especially those of the inner two rings; the first of which consists of some 10 or so people I'm on good terms with, talk to often, etc, and the second consists of one person, who I trust more than any other. The only one I trust. The only one I would call my voice. And, if it wasn't enough, because of my lack of things to do, I now am exploring cellular automations, and the patterns of them, how to get them to do interesting things, how to make them do what I want. Also, I think once school starts up I'm going to be back to my Graphing Insanity. What the hell is all this? Oh, and I left out the best part so far, I am a different person depending upon where I am or who I am with. One knows me, in a way which others could never get too. Several know my evil/passivity/insanity. Most know how I am with math. A few, see two different me's. . . And theres still more, some know me as a gamer, some know me as a martial artist, some know me as a berserker, some know me as evil, as emo, as satanic, as angelic, as lazy, as hyper, as male, as female, as both, as genderless, as something different altogether. Yet only one knows me. What the hell. I don't know what I'm saying really.
Kenshru · Tue Aug 21, 2007 @ 09:44am · 0 Comments |
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