I miss him so much...
Sometimes i wonder if he would ever betray me...
Sometimes i wonder if he would ever dislike me...
Sometimes i wonder if he would ever go back on his word-
and drink until his hearts' desired.
even knowing that hes only 15- hes already made love once-
hes already found out the cruelness of drugs-
and the dangers of being emo.
Sometimes i wonder if he would ever make those mistakes again.
I love him with all my heart-
every breathe i breath,
every step i take,
i do it for him.
Every ounce of strength and courage-
I use it for the one i love-
the first boyfriend that i have ever gotten.
as shy as i may be,
as innocent as i may look,
as happy as people think i am,
im really not all too certain that i am.
I've had a terrible past...
people think they know me-people think they know better...
about the miserable life of being pushed around.
~ They are Wrong.
My life isnt like everyone elses',
Im the only one who has a tragic past-
that no one could even imagine.
it started in the 5th grade-it ended in the 8th.
i told a hot guy-i really liked him.
bad move... bad move.
he ordered his friends to shove my face into walls, doors, and anything else.
....and they did exactly as they were told.
the hot guy, unfortionatly just watched and said horrible things..
"who could like a thing like you?!"
"Who would like someone as ugly as you, no wonder your different!"
"your the ugliest i have ever seen-you look like s**t."
I was never aloud to show any feelings for any guy-
I was never aloud to try to befriend any person.
around every guy, until this day, I am always frightened and scared-
of what they might want to do to me.
Damien- my first boyfriend,
asked me out on February 23, 2007.
until this day...
i thank him for everything hes saved me from-pure torture and misery.
Thank you, Damien...
for saving me-saving my life.
you've saved my life, and i'll protect yours.
But you have to promise me...
never to make those mistakes again... ever.
-that you'll be happy, just like me.
I love you, Damien. forever and always.
heart Ksandra
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