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I have a memory. Beautiful brown haired girl. I stood up for myself, saved the girl. Now we've run away together.
And I'm kissing her lips, she tells me how I'm a terrible kisser, and kisses me again.
She puts her forhead to mine, and she laughs.
Such beautiful green eyes.
This memory is a dream.
This memory is not real.
I can't remember much. I never can when I force myself to get up. Today was a rarity. I woke up by alarm, shut it off, and managed to return to the same world I left.
Usually they don't let me back. Maybe this one wanted me.
There are several things I remember. The first one is kissing that beautiful girl. The second is that all is not well. We are running away. As I type, the memories return to me. He is blind. Or missing an eye. Or somehow handicaped. And hunting us. And I caused it.
The third thing I remember is that he was standing in front of some gate. My life was in danger.. I somehow got through the gate. He was lying on a bunch of crates with his buddies. It was dark as right before the crack of dawn, when everything is a tinted blue shade. I know this because I work the night shift, and I usually am awake to witness this phenomenon. Him and his buddies threaten me.
Like a proud fool I stick up for myself. This is how I know it's a dream. I am a coward. I remember it hurt. I remember they tried to kill me. I remember taking quite a beating. I remember it hurt. Bad.
And I remember taking his eye.
I remember feeling such defeat when I thought I'd lost. This was real. I remember the feeling he portrayed when I walked away from him, as he was crawling after me, I could smell the defeat. As he called after me, I rember hearing the pain of loss and failure in his voice. And I remember it slowly turning to hatred, and, knowing that hatred would blind his pain, I was afraid.
Where this beautiful girl and I is is under the road. Light shines through somehow, and the stone is a artful and warm light tan color. Like you would imagine the walls inside an ancient pyramid. We walk through and find a large ballroom sized area full of people, tents, little hut-shops.
When I remember me, standing with this beautiful girl, kissing her, being kissed by her, when I think that I'm still alive and have overcome a great struggle, And now, I am here, in heaven. When I remember this, that is the only place I want to be.
I long so much to go back to sleep, and I crave a way to sleep forever. At the moment my mind recalls it, it becomes all I want in life. An eternal dream. I would give up the waking world for this.
Is that wrong? Am I sane? I want to be back there, wherever I am, when I remember.
 Icarus Pan · Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 07:02pm · 1 Comments |
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