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Crowgurl's Journal
Just what I feel like saying or puting up.
My fanfic story ch.1
Another night, Marius thought as he sat on the rooftops watching humans pass under him. There was one that caught his attention. She seemed to be 20 years old, dark brown hair, about 5’6” and she had the prettiest blue eyes he ever saw. She was being followed by a group of vampires. Usually, he wouldn’t care, but there was something about this girl.

The girl walked into an alley way. An alley way with a dead end. “This won’t hurt a bit,” the first vampire said grabbing the girl. “Go on Lukas! Bite her!” the others cheered. The girl screamed in an attempt to get help but it was no use. “Let the girl go,” a voice from behind them said. Lukas’ groupies turned and walked toward the man. “This is our prey,” one of them told him ”so get lost!”

“Now,” Lukas revealed his fangs, “for dinner.” Marius twisted Lukas’ arm back and held a firm grip. “Let go of me! Do you know who you’re dealing with?” Lukas shouted in anger. “Do you?” Marius answered back, “I am an ancient so it would be wise to leave right now.” Marius let go and Lukas cursed at him in an unknown language.

“Are you alright, miss?” He asked her holding out his hand. “Yes thanks to you,” she answered brushing herself off. He started circling around her in wonder. “Why where they following you?” he asked her still circling her. “I don’t know,” she said following his dark eyes. Marius noticed blood going down her arm. He walked close to her and grabbed her arm.

To his surprise, she didn’t pull away. He went down to bite her arm when he remembered a promise he made long ago. “You should get that taken care of,” he said drawing away. She looked down at her arm for a moment then looked back up but Marius had disappeared. Who was that strange yet handsome man? She thought as she walked back to her house, thinking about him.

Crowgurl1
Community Member
Crowgurl1
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  • User Comments: [2]
    TheWanderingNomad
    Community Member





    Sat Jun 23, 2007 @ 01:53am


    I have ONE suggestion: for thoughts, use italics, my dear. Other than that, very good! And this girl does bear a resemblance to someone I just happen to know wink


    chaos_shaman
    Community Member





    Mon Jun 25, 2007 @ 11:44pm


    its really good.


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    User Comments: [2]
     
     
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