Welcome to Gaia! ::

i work in a daycare.

i work with two year olds.

they lack abstract reasoning, you cannot sit down to a rational discussion with them.

if Tommy is biting Billy, or Leah has jumped from the table up onto the bookcase, respond quickly with a firm but restrained swat to their Pamper-padded posterior.

it should make a noise but not hurt.

they should be startled but in no way injured.

now you have their attention.

"Bad Tommy! No biting!" then take the child to the time out corner for just a few minutes (moire than that is meaningless to their tiny attention spans anyway) and repeat why they are punished.

a few minutes later welcome them back with a reassuring hug. this is not a mixed message, it tells them that they as persons are fine with you, but you will simply not tolerate certain behaviors.

"welcome back Tommy! we're glad to have you back. you won't bite Billy again, will you?"

it upsets me when i see people in ED who have never had responsibility for young children equate a swat on the Pamper with "hitting" or "beating".

it isn't.

I was never spanked. But apparently Im an angel compared to my three brothers. That and my mother lacks the discipline gene (due to an abusive father). So Im the spanker of bottoms. When Mum gets exasperated, she'll yell 'Dont make me have your sister come out here'

There's a definite difference between beating a child, and giving an admonishing swat to the butt. Its a clear and undeniable negative reaction that will teach them bad actions have bad consequences. On the flip side; positive reinforcement is equally important.

Most anyone who hasnt watched young kids will be timid on the subject of spanking. Watching someone elses kids is a bit awkward. Though once with a certain two year old the mother told me straight up 'He's potty trained, and feel free to spank him if he misbehaves, I trust your judgment' - its always good to know the boundaries.