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| Will you Critique? |
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| Total Votes : 4 |
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 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:24 pm
This is a poem I wrote for a friend who was being suicidal...I just started typing the verses out to her.
Search Lights
Search lights,
search lights,
All around this tortured mess of a world.
Searching for a piece of perfection and meaning
Search dogs, search dogs
Going back to how you used to be
Isn’t going to help you at all.
You'll be tortured by the very thought, you know.
The very thought of this all makes you and I both light in the head
and dark in our places in this world.
You have gotten this far and to lose it
Is to lose everything you have ever owned.
You can't let go that easily.
Search lights, search lights.
Search dogs, search dogs.
Searching through this tortured mess of a world.
Searching for a piece of perfection.
Searching for the faintest hint of something we want but know we can't have.
Please comment/critique ><
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 8:31 pm
Freeverse, huh? Hmm... Pretty good... But I couldn't find too much connection.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:58 am
Yeah, it's pretty random XD Thanks for the comment!
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:15 pm
I like it
eek random in the middle
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Chex4nothing Muleing4free
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:40 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:28 am
Reminds me of a dark children's song with the way it seems to be sing-song. Maybe it's my imagination doing that...
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