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Umm I want to take this to an actual publisher should I?

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I liked it, it was beautiful and interesting
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it sucked
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Total Votes : 2


Shadoworrior

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:57 pm


This is only a teaser 'cause my grammar and spelling suck so if you any you would love to be my Bate then I would be eternally great full to you.

* * *

The forest about twenty minutes from Phoenix Gale, the capital of the royal planet, Million, was quite. Animals of all kinds inhabited this forest, it was forbidden to the Avatars, the people of Million, to enter it that rule never stopped the figure that was now running through the trees of this forest. Twigs, fallen leaves, and the occasional branch breaking as they ran over or past it leaving ether a little bit of clothing or some blood from the scrap left by a branch. The cold months where beginning to settle into the lands and the people of Phoenix Gale. The evidence of the cold months was the visible breath coming from the cloaked person’s hood.

After about ten minutes of running the person stopped in a clearing just big enough to hold a six person meeting. The cloaked figure moved to the middle of the clearing and brought their hands to their chest, the hood bowed as they began to prey. The words from the cloaked figures mouth where soft and hard to hear but could still be recognized as mumbles the skies above began roar and scream with pain as the lightning tore across the sky. The trees began to groan as the wind Began to pull at their leaves like a little brother would to his sister’s hair, the shadows began to dance feverishly around the cloaked figure as if their prey was a dancing beat that you couldn’t help but dance to. The streams that where not far from the clearing began to quicken in pace finally the earth beneath the figures feet began to quack with the need to be set free, from the ground a pillar of flames shot to the skies as if they were trying to calm a crying sibling...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 7:55 am


I like it, but there were quite a few grammar and spelling errors. Once you get some more into it, and get it beta'd you might be able to get it published. If you'd like, I can beta it for you. Like I said, good but needs a little grammar work and some more meat. Let me know! heart

Peaches_and_Wings


Shadoworrior

PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:35 am


Thank you for your kind words that alone has made me pic it up again soon it will be finished and I will most certainly give you a copy to Beta.

thank you again for thoes kind words.
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