Traumatic and emotional situations ---- The WHAT IFS

[Slichick]

This past weekend, I was thrown even further out of the comfort zone than dealing with those who have been told they have a limited amount of time to live.(I am a hospice/home health nurse)


Let me start by telling you that I live in a low to lower-middle class neighborhood. Although several of us own our homes, there are several rent houses. The house across the street is a rent house. The couple, who I now know were not married, had live there for several months and often choose to air their arguements in the front yard. But this weekend, her screaming was different and being the nosey neighbor, I watched him very aggressively pull and shove her back into the house. This worried me and so I spoke with my husband then called 911 and requested they send police officer.
After making this phone call, I went back to my spraying weed killer in the yard, while my husband did his music stuff in house. Not long after pick up where I had left off, I again heard the woman across the street scream, only this time she was screaming about getting the knife. Again Nosey Neighbor that I am, I watched her run around to the side of their house, at this point I notice there was a car stopped in the road that ran on that side of the house and another male neighbor was walking over. I walked down the road to where I could see and saw someone laying supine on the ground and the woman was screaming "I wanted him gone but I didn't want him dead." I noted she had a knife in one hand and rope in the other. The two men were standing gawking. I ran up and as I came up to them, the woman dropped the knife and rope and bent down to where I had gotten on my knees to assess the man's situation. I could see the rope marks on the man's neck where he had tried to hang himself. I noted that he was already starting to swell and although he had a pulse and was labored breathing, he was breathing on his own. Also not knowing if he had broke any vertebra, and that the swelling would only continue and could eventually cut-off his airway I did a jaw thrust to open his airway to it's optimal. I told the lady to call 911 for an ambulance since I already knew police were on their way. At this point, she picked up her cell phone, and we all saw the policeman(Stacy) walk around the corner of house. He called for back up and an ambulance related to attempted suicide. I identified myself to him and let him know I was a nurse. I also told him that the household had children but I had not seen them. Stacy questioned the woman who said the children were inside. He directed her to go check on them and leave knife with him. He questioned me as to were I worked and identified himself as a former EMT for the local ambulance service. As we waited for the ambulance, the man's neck did continue to swell and he eventually started to have seizure activity going tonic-clonic. The ambulance did finally make it and started him on O2 then valium related to seizure activity. He was transported to the hospital. I found out that the man had had the woman and her three kids locked in house all day and she had gotten out the door only when he let his guard down and turn his back to get a cigarette. I have mixed feelings about what I did. I'm glad I was outside and heard her scream and did not shrug it off, but I'm not sure that helping the man, even minimally though it was, was right. But I was legally bound to do it, by the State Board of Nurse and State Law, because I can be fined, lose my nurses' license, and/ or be sued if I see an accident and refuse to assist until emergency medical arrive.

An aside note,This happened several weekends ago and is a snippet from my journal entry. He did live. Now, even though he was taken to the State mental hospital, he has been released. His significant other and their children live in fear that he will come back.

Should he have been allowed to kill himself? Would you feel guilt if he died or lived and possibly hurts the signicant other or their children?  

[Jammy_Dz]

Oh wow. That's horrible. I'm sorry to hear about the significant other and her children and can only hope that one day they'll be able to live without that fear. I can't even imagine what it must feel like.

As for your questions, I don't ever think that suicide or murder is an option. But he shouldn't be able to be free in the world to do what he wants, it would be better if he stayed in the mental hospital or in the jail cell. As horrible as it is that you feel like you shouldn't have helped him because of what he did, as you said it is the law and whether the patient is a criminal or not, you've got to help them because everyone has the right to live. However, if I was in your situation and he hurt the significant other and their children then I would feel guilty but I would also know that I was only doing my job. It's a tough situation to be in and I'm sorry that you were in it.  

[Slichick]

Flying Tree

Oh wow. That's horrible. I'm sorry to hear about the significant other and her children and can only hope that one day they'll be able to live without that fear. I can't even imagine what it must feel like.

As for your questions, I don't ever think that suicide or murder is an option. But he shouldn't be able to be free in the world to do what he wants, it would be better if he stayed in the mental hospital or in the jail cell. As horrible as it is that you feel like you shouldn't have helped him because of what he did, as you said it is the law and whether the patient is a criminal or not, you've got to help them because everyone has the right to live. However, if I was in your situation and he hurt the significant other and their children then I would feel guilty but I would also know that I was only doing my job. It's a tough situation to be in and I'm sorry that you were in it.

Thank you for commenting. I have found that life is never simple. Sometimes that makes it wonderous and good and sometimes malicious and horrible.  

[takocos]

I have no sympathy for anyone who ever intentionally harms a child. From the enviroment you were describing... well, if I were her he had best not come back. Because a man like that... I would've killed him the first time. (Ask my first love; he's afraid to come near me now).  

[Grimm IronShade]

Well I don't know what to say so I'm gonna sum it up in emoticons
gonk crying scream burning_eyes talk2hand sweatdrop  

[C0Dy_626]

AAAHHHH!! i feel even more traumatized now!! i feeel ur pain....  

[Grimm IronShade]

C0DiE626

AAAHHHH!! i feel even more traumatized now!! i feeel ur pain....

I know eh? crying  

[wei hei]

somthing that was embarrising was that i got hacked for no reason by a dude named hacker prevention program  

[Lovely Rainbow Samantha]

No.

Yes.

That was long.

 

[Vinessa_Valentine]

Slichick

I have mixed feelings about what I did. I'm glad I was outside and heard her scream and did not shrug it off, but I'm not sure that helping the man, even minimally though it was, was right. But I was legally bound to do it, by the State Board of Nurse and State Law, because I can be fined, lose my nurses' license, and/ or be sued if I see an accident and refuse to assist until emergency medical arrive.

An aside note,This happened several weekends ago and is a snippet from my journal entry. He did live. Now, even though he was taken to the State mental hospital, he has been released. His significant other and their children live in fear that he will come back.

Should he have been allowed to kill himself? Would you feel guilt if he died or lived and possibly hurts the significant other or their children?

You did the right thing... never have any regrets about your actions, they were within both your ability and ethics. As for your personal belief that helping him wasn't right, it was, everyone deserves to be treated like a human, you were a human helping another human. On a professional level, that is how it should be seen too. Those in the medical profession are there to help others, regardless of how they came about hurting themselves, it is the police's responsibility to apprehend and take them to the judge for their actions. Would you have felt guilt for not helping him? As for the right for someone to kill themselves, that gets into the freedoms allowed by free choice that we as a species were allowed to have.  

[SuchSweetSadism]

If he wanted to die yes, it's ******** up to tell someone they can't escape a life that they're miserable in. I mean unless it's like a teen tantrum (not saying that there are teenagers out there who actually are seriously depressed, because there are, they're just a lot who aren't).

No, I wouldn't feel guilt. It's sad but he could easily hurt them all alive just by being forced into that life.



Btw, you did the right thing.  

[Valiant Fenris]

even though the b*****d deserved to die, you did the right thing.