Welcome to Gaia! ::

I don't like the fact that a lot of adults say that teenagers are not capable of love. I disagree, someone's youth pastor put this in his way. "I don't think that teens can't love, its just that they don't have the capacity to love as much as adults can...." I agree with this statement. No matter what anyone says, teens can be in love but cant really love as much because they don't have as much to give. I do believe, however that teens can mistake love for infatuation. Personally, I am taking my time to try to discover what real love is. If my girlfriend ever asks "Why don't you ever tell me you love me." I would say, "I'm only 15 and I'm still trying to find out what real love is, but love aside I can tell you that I care about you more than anything right now." What do you think?

Discuss:
Are teens capable of love?
What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, no more. lol)
Do I have anything better to do with my time!?

I think it's got some truth to it.

However, I don't think it means the feelings aren't real and what they're going through is any less. BUT with that being said, it's not that they don't have capacity of love, they just lack experience and maturity (and sorry, even the most "mature" teen falls in that).

I think it's great, personally, that you are taking it slow and taking the time to discover real love. I do think a vast majority of teen relationships don't last, but not to say they didn't love the person perse. Of course, there are exceptions to everything. I do think though, (and myself included) a lot of teens don't realize that love isn't enough and do rash things.

I think that adults say that teenagers can't love because they are very impressionable, and have a lot of hormones. I'm 16, my emotions are all over the place. I know that because I never know how I really feel. I'll think I'm happy, but I'll cry for no reason.

I think I am completly ready to love. There is nothing I would like more. I, personally have never been in love. But when I'm with someone I really like, I feel so happy and complete. And loving would make me feel that much better.

There are a lot of people who think teenagers can't love because teenagers make mistakes in love. Although, no one thinks about the mistakes that adults make in love. Sex, causing unwanted pregnacy, STDs, and not being ready in general. Everyone is capable of making thoughs mistakes, but teens have adults with an eye on them all the time.

If you haven't heard about the five love languages, here they are:

• Receiving Gifts--person feels most loved when given gifts because they view gifts as tangible expressions of love-they mean that the giver was thinking of the receiver and cared enough to show it
  
• Acts of Service--person feels most loved when someone helps them carry out their responsibility
  
• Quality Time--person feels most loved when on the receiving end of focused, positive attention
  
• Physical Touch--person feels most loved when literally making affectionate physical contact (hugs, kissing, etc.) with another person
  
• Words of Affirmation--person feels loved when other people tell them how much they are valued that what they do is appreciated
  

What I think is happening is that maybe the adults who say that kids/teens can't love are misinterpreting what the kids/teens in question are doing. For example, I never understood why my mom would act like she didn't really appreciate the gifts I gave to her when I was a little kid. For years I thought it meant that she didn't love me. Then I learned about the 5 love languages, and I realized that her love language is acts of service. She thought the presents I gave her were cute, and she would set them aside on some shelf, so she could look at them. As a child, I thought it meant that she wished she could set me aside.

Could it be that the adults who are issuing these generalizations are simply misunderstanding?

Countless adults have told me that my boyfriend and I just can't be in love, because we don't "do stuff" together or talk a whole lot when we see each other. To be quite frank, I would be happy to just sit with my boyfriend and watch people in a park or take a quick nap together. Physical touch is one of my primary love languages.

For the people who pointed out that teens "just lack experience and maturity", I agree. Teens normally don't have nearly as much life experience as adults do. I agree. But that doesn't mean that teens can't love any less. It just means that their expressions of love may be more juvenile or primitive than what an adult would expect, thus possibly giving some adults the idea that "teenagers aren't capable of love." When I say "juvenile", I mean that maybe the recipient doesn't really like the gift itself, but they understand the intended message. And when I say "primitive", I mean that, maybe, the giver's expressions of love are more carnal, shall we say, than than the adult(s) in question would like.

Or, for the adults that say things like "well, he didn't give her a present for her birthday/their anniversary" or "they haven't kissed, so they can't be in love" or "they don't really talk to each other, so how can they really be in love?" I have the answer: maybe it's one person's not doing something that is their expression of love. For example, if someone complains that he didn't give her a present for *insert occasion to receive gift here*, do they even consider that maybe the girl is trying to get rid of stuff she doesn't need/want and that one more "thing" would just get in her way? Or if the complainer is complaining about an apparent lack of affectionate physical contact, maybe that lack of physical contact is their sign of affection. For example, i wanted to have sex with my boyfriend after we'd been going out for 6 months. He said he wasn't ready yet, but he would be willing to have sex with me if it would make me happy. I told him that I would wait until he was ready, because it wouldn't mean nearly as much to me if he only did it because he thought he had to. If I had tried to force myself on him, not only would I deeply regret it now, but we'd probably have broken up a long time ago. And regarding the complaint about a lack of "meaningful" conversation: What if the couple talks for hours each night and has their meaningful conversations then? Or maybe the couple simply dislikes risking having their "meaningful" conversations in front of people who could eavesdrop?

I seriously think that a lot of the adults who say teens aren't capable of loving are simply jumping to conclusions. While I agree with some of their points, like the statement that teens lack life experience, I also think that teens can be even more capable of loving than some adults. But that's a whole different rant. Holy s**t, I wrote a lot. eek

I agree about the love languages.

My parents just split up because of a complete contrast in their love languages.

My father was an "acts of service" person and my mother really didn't like doing things for him because she was a "quality time" person.

I am a teenager (and yes I am in love.) and I have two love languages (I think - there are two I really "need") Those are physical touch and quality time. My boyfriend is the same way. And he loves me too (though he is not a teenager - I am 17, he is 22). Teenagers can be in love, but sometimes if it is a different love language than the adults, they don't understand it.

I think I'm the "Physical Touch" type. I love getting my boyfriend stuff though. I have some Quality Time and Words of Affirmation things too though. I think my boyfriend is the same. Physical touch is definitely my most important though.

I think it's possible to have more than one love language. It's like being one of those CD drives that not only reads CDs, but that writes them, too.