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While I was growing up, both my mother and I were technically overweight. In her case, she had gained weight when pregnant with me and my brother, and hadn't lost it afterward. She was really self-concious about it, especially as my family is very sports-oriented. Eventually she freaked out and decided she needed to diet, but also took this out on me by making me try to lose weight. Needless to say it didn't work. Despite the fact that I'm still a bigger girl, her attitude towards weight in general has not changed, and sadly this negative attitude is shared by most of my family.

Just today I returned home for a visit and I find myself slipping back into the negative view she imposed upon me. I've gained a little more weight recently, specifically around my chin area, so its noticeable and I find myself worrying that my mother and other members of my family will make an issue of it. Also, I'm an artist who focuses on drawing beautiful images of bigger women, and I have a show of that work coming up in a local gallery. I'm excited about it, but my family is obviously going to come to the opening and I'm starting to worry about how they're going to react...

I guess I just need some advice or positive reinforcement to give myself a little more confidence in this situation. And, does anyone else have similar concerns?

Thanks Fuzzy *big hugs!* You always have such good advice.

Ugh, my family tried everything to get me to lose weight but telling me I looked good the way I was and giving me a membership to something athletic that I could be around people my age (I used my gym membership and didn't lose weight because I'm already muscular... I was skinnier at the time, though. But it's not fun going to a gym with people twice your age at the youngest... especially to a 14 year old :/

Every holiday, especially Thanksgiving we sit around and at the dinner table they discuss diets and crap and talk about how good so and so looks (my aunt was almost constantly on two diets at a time and she was already tiny!). One year my mom snapped at one of the family members over the phone (she, my brother and myself are the only fat members that go to that dinner 'cause it's my dad's side of the family) and that year they didn't say anything, it was just as awkward as the years of diet talk and praising me when I would barely eat out of fear they'd lecture me on it.

My uncle actually lectured me about how I didn't need the extra calories when he caught me getting a Pepsi One out of his fridge... they have one calorie! I felt aweful, and it ended with him having me pray with him that God would see fit to help me lose weight so I could be happy. He just wanted me to be happy, I know he had the best intentions but he went about it the wrong way (I don't think he realized it was only one calorie, he just saw me with a soda)... he didn't realize his telling me I'd be better if I was skinnier and all that was making me more unhappy than my weight was... I just wasn't good enough.

But I can't really offer any advice, other than be strong and tough it out... that's what I did. Or you could try to talk to your mom about it, if she's like mine you can't I suppose (my mom isn't the type to listen to me). And totally remember you're beautiful, and that there are others who think that and as long as you're happy with yourself it doesn't even matter. And remember, you always have us here to support you biggrin

To Ghosty ~ That sucks so much about your family, especially your uncle. Mine was never that bad. Thank you for the kind words and you're beautiful and awesome too *hugs*

To Chachamaru-kun ~ Thank you too! You have an amazing attitude, and I'm glad you appreciate that my BBW art is getting gallery time. I'm also not only happy that I personally am getting a gallery show, but I'm also so proud to be able to represent the community of bigger people and people who love bigger people through my art. Its the most important thing I think I can do.

sad good greif, that's obnoxious, bordering on assault.

Did she like, pry your jaws open? If said aunt tries something like that again, bite her fingers.

And honestly, Richard Simmons? You aren't a 50 year old homosexual man. -.-

To Suicide Jade ~ Wow, that's horrible....do you still talk to your family at all? I wouldn't blame you if you don't.

I feel bad for complaining now. My family isn't/wasn't nearly that bad.

To Ghosty ~ Thank you ^_^

Ugh, I sympathize. Doctor's can be kinda ridiculous about it, especially since the "dangers of obesity" are so hyped up. I have not found one who seems to realize you can be a healthy person and overweight, even though I'M a healthy person and overweight stressed