Courting Vs. Dating

[[..Deon.Celestia..]]

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Courting Vs. Dating

I know it pretty much varies from church to church, but I am curious what the opinions of Christians are on whether they support dating or courting.


What is courting?

Though courting is similar to dating, it has a plethora of differences and is basically described as Christian dating. Though it may be taught differently in my church, courting is being at the legal age to marry and both people have to have matured a great deal in their walks with God. When seriously considering courting, it is not to be taken lightly as a short relationship to test compatibility, but it is a match made by God with the objective of marriage in mind. Men and women pray for the knowledge of whether or not they are prepared for courting and who their future husband/wife will be.


These are just a few questions to consider:
+Do you support courting, dating, or both?
+Why?
+Do you think one is better than the other? [[Disregard this question if you picked both.]]
+How so?
+What do you personally lean towards?
+Why?

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[ioioouiouiouio]

I believe that, in this situation, the polic y 'whatever floats your boat' is the correct policy to take.

All people are different and that means that they are all not compatible with any one means of finding a partner. As long as common sense and biblical morality are used, then court, date, or what-have-you.  

[Guacamole-kun]

Cometh The Inquisitor

I believe that, in this situation, the polic y 'whatever floats your boat' is the correct policy to take.

All people are different and that means that they are all not compatible with any one means of finding a partner. As long as common sense and biblical morality are used, then court, date, or what-have-you.

Couldn'ta said it better! ^^
Both are great ways of finding a mate, but both can have unfortunate outcomes if you don't use common sense and good judgment, or if you're simply inexperienced. Like with a lot of things, really. :3  

[[..Deon.Celestia..]]

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Ok so what do you both personally lean towards?

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[Medanite]

I guess that the way I am now, I'd go for both. When it comes to a serious relationship, I would rather find a girl who shares my beliefs. There a lot of people in the world so it can be hard to find that 'perfect' person, but as it says in the bible: 'God works out all thing for the good of those who love him.'

On the other hand, dating is a good way to see if your compatible with someone to see if they're right for you, but what do I know? I've never come anywhere close to asking a girl out. I just get too nervous. xp  

[ioioouiouiouio]

[..Deon.Celestia..]

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Ok so what do you both personally lean towards?

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Personally, I do neither, though that is for personal reasons.  

[Kittey-chan]

I'd guess right now its more torwards dating, although I certainly am at an age where I could look torwards getting married. (Scary thought!)
Mostly this is because my peers are in no place to be getting married (we're nearly all starving college students), and I don't want anything too serious at the moment. I don't think I would be good at looking at encounters as tests for marriage except in a general manner; I'm not entirely sure I ever want to get married. Which is ironic, since I'd prolly be a perfect housewife.... though that's an entirely different tangent there.  

[Cattrain]

read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.
i have never personaly read it, but everyone that i know that has says it is an amazing book.  

[The Noble Protoman.exe]

Quite honestly, I'd love to be able to answer your questions... but I lack the "maturity" to begin dating... I've never dated, etc. However, it does seem to be the better when a pair is courting.
1. Both
2. Well, simply put... so the younger people can get a feel for a relationship. Although this does have negative effects, I believe that dating is for a mature people anyways. Not in age, just in stature.
3. I don't know what I'd lean towards. I mean to be quite honest, I don't even know what a relationship is like. (That's what happens when you go to a small private school all your life. sweatdrop )  

[Xirapha]

I really like the idea of courting. The thing is, not everyone even knows about this idea. But, as I am heading into a sort of relationship with a young man I've just met, I continually pray about it. At some point, I do want to be married. I pray that God will help me find out if this man is the one for me or not. I think prayer is the key, and communication between the two people involved is also important.  

[SinfulGuillotine]

My only problem with courting is that I think it's a little dangerous to go out looking for someone to marry.

Marriage can't be something that you're in a hurry to do. I'm of the mindset that people fall in love gradually, and that God will see to it that you meet the person you're meant to marry (if you are indeed meant to marry at all) and fall in love with them accordingly. It's been my experience that the best relationships (from first-hand experience and observations of people I know) start casually and built up to something more intense slowly.

I don't really have an issue if someone decided to take the rout of courting rather than usual, more casual dating. I just don't really believe that that's how most people fall in love.  

[PoppyDadswell]

i voted courting.its more respectful and you not likely to meet someone who is going to use you.i want to marry and i want someone kind.  

[SinfulGuillotine]

PoppyDadswell

i voted courting.its more respectful and you not likely to meet someone who is going to use you.i want to marry and i want someone kind.

How is casual dating a less effective way of meeting someone kind?  

[Berezi]

SinfulGuillotine

PoppyDadswell

i voted courting.its more respectful and you not likely to meet someone who is going to use you.i want to marry and i want someone kind.

How is casual dating a less effective way of meeting someone kind?

There's something about the word casual that perturbs me about casual dating. Love is many things, but it's not casual. I agree that people fall in love slowly, but I don't need dating to ensure that I don't rush into love. Friendships are the place where love ought to be fostered, at least in most Western cultures like you and I live in. I only say that because at least when I've just met someone, most likely the reasons I would want to date them are superficial - they look nice, seem nice, maybe seem like they've got a good personality. Those are the reasons I try to get to know someone, not date. If I date someone it would be because I already know those things and because I am attracted to the particular way those qualities are manifested in the potential boyfriend.

I agree that it's a bit dangerous to go looking for marriage. However, every dating relationship will eventually either lead to marriage, a break up, or the awkward limbo phase in which you're not married but you might as well be. Dating is a way of deciding whether or not someone is the right marriage partner. I don't see why someone shouldn't, before entering a relationship, consider whether or not they could see themselves marrying this person. If it's an absolute no, why bother? Remember also that I feel love should arise out of the context of a friendship - after about six months to year or so, people usually can figure out whether or not they'd be happy married to that particular friend.