Ask a pro-life consultant - ROUND TWO!

[Half Baked SF]

Quote:

Q. My name is Terra. About five months ago I was raped and impregnated. I decided to go through with an abortion. That was three months ago, and despite all of the pressure I feel around me saying that abortion is a horrible act, I feel no regrets. In fact, I feel that I made the best posible decision for my baby. I could not imagine what kind of pain my baby would have had to go through if I was forced to give birth without being in the correct position for children. I feel extremely guilty for this reaction to my abortion, and get the impression that I should be tearing my guts out with agony over my baby's death. Am I really the horrible, evil person I feel I am for feeling that I did the right thing in my situation? - Terra

A. Dear Terra,

It sounds as though you're really struggling with some conflicting feelings about your abortion experience. You know what? You're not alone in feeling the way you do. Many women feel an active relief after an abortion, then wonder, as you do, if they're horrible for not feeling the remorse and regret they've been told would absolutely follow the procedure.

I have a great number for you to call, to speak with someone who understands what you're feeling, who may have possibly gone through a similar experience herself. The name is OptionLine, and their number is 1-800-395-4357(HELP), or you can visit their website at www.optionline.org. They can put you in touch with your local pregnancy help center (PHC) so you can speak with an experienced counselor in your area about your concerns. Your PHC counselor can help you sort through your feelings about your situation, and offer guidance and a listening ear.

Your PHC hotline is 24/7, free, and they're ready to help - give them a call!

Beth

Any thoughts?  

[Sexbomb Hermione]

Maybe I should call with that story.  

[SterileNeedles]

Seems like she gave a pretty good answer to the story you gave her. Perhaps someone who's a good actor should call that line and see how the counselors there handle the situation and then post about what happened.  

[Talon-chan]

Toga! Toga!

Quote:

Q. My name is Terra. About five months ago I was raped and impregnated. I decided to go through with an abortion. That was three months ago, and despite all of the pressure I feel around me saying that abortion is a horrible act, I feel no regrets. In fact, I feel that I made the best posible decision for my baby. I could not imagine what kind of pain my baby would have had to go through if I was forced to give birth without being in the correct position for children. I feel extremely guilty for this reaction to my abortion, and get the impression that I should be tearing my guts out with agony over my baby's death. Am I really the horrible, evil person I feel I am for feeling that I did the right thing in my situation? - Terra

A. Dear Terra,

It sounds as though you're really struggling with some conflicting feelings about your abortion experience. You know what? You're not alone in feeling the way you do. Many women feel an active relief after an abortion, then wonder, as you do, if they're horrible for not feeling the remorse and regret they've been told would absolutely follow the procedure.

I have a great number for you to call, to speak with someone who understands what you're feeling, who may have possibly gone through a similar experience herself. The name is OptionLine, and their number is 1-800-395-4357(HELP), or you can visit their website at www.optionline.org. They can put you in touch with your local pregnancy help center (PHC) so you can speak with an experienced counselor in your area about your concerns. Your PHC counselor can help you sort through your feelings about your situation, and offer guidance and a listening ear.

Your PHC hotline is 24/7, free, and they're ready to help - give them a call!

Beth

Any thoughts?

Eh, decent enough answer.

The really intriguing answer would be: You only feel guilt about the fact you don't feel horrible because of the fact everyone told you you must feel horrible. The pressure from society, religious institutions, and other such agenda pushers has instilled in you a false consciousness that says you must regret abortion. There's nothing wrong with you for not feeling guilty. You made a choice about your life. Many women do not regret their abortions (link to I'm not sorry). You are not alone in feeling you made the right decision.

That is... I think it would be interesting to see the pro-life movement embrace, acknowledge, and accept that they cause women a significant portion (if not most) of the pain and guilt, rather than the abortion itself.  

[Lord Setar]

Looking at that in comparison to the first letter, the language and tone is quite similar. I get the impression that this is a form letter from the second paragraph. The first one is great, it does seem truthful, but using a pro-life site as a resource seems to contradict the impression that the first paragraph gives in its tone - that depression doesn't absolutely follow abortion. A pro-life site would say the opposite. The site uses the word "may" quite well and liberally, but as we know with the news media in conjunction with serious crime, people tend to skip over words like "may have" and "apparently."  

[October Cross]

Quote:

Q. Dear Beth,
I had an abortion in July. I have read that many women feel guilty and become depressed after getting an abortion. I'm not sorry. I do not feel guilty. In fact, I am glad I did have an abortion, since I was not financially able to support the pregnancy. (I could barely afford to feed myself once a day. I was making decisions like food or tampons, food or shampoo, food or rent and I still am.) I applied for the welfare insurance but I was declined since I still live with my primary caretakers. Is it normal to not feel sorry at all? I'm not sure if it is, but are there any women that feel comfortable about their decision like this?

Thanks, Ashley
PS: Don't publish this. I'm kind of embarrassed to ask.

A. Dear Ashley,

I can hear you struggling with some conflicting feelings about your abortion experience. And I want to tell you that you're not alone in feeling that way. Many women feel only relief after their abortion, but start to worry that something's wrong when they don't experience the grief and regret they've heard follows an abortion. Because it sounds like you really want to talk to someone about this, I recommend you call OptionLine, at 1-800-395-4357(HELP), or visit their website at www.optionline.org. They'll put you in touch with your local pregnancy help center (PHC) so you can speak with an experienced counselor in your area about your situation. Your PHC counselor will listen to your concerns and offer guidance. They're 24/7, free, and ready to help - give them a call!
Beth

Mine came today too! Just thought I'd share so you could see the apparent similarities.  

[Lord Setar]

October Cross

Quote:

Q. Dear Beth,
I had an abortion in July. I have read that many women feel guilty and become depressed after getting an abortion. I'm not sorry. I do not feel guilty. In fact, I am glad I did have an abortion, since I was not financially able to support the pregnancy. (I could barely afford to feed myself once a day. I was making decisions like food or tampons, food or shampoo, food or rent and I still am.) I applied for the welfare insurance but I was declined since I still live with my primary caretakers. Is it normal to not feel sorry at all? I'm not sure if it is, but are there any women that feel comfortable about their decision like this?

Thanks, Ashley
PS: Don't publish this. I'm kind of embarrassed to ask.

A. Dear Ashley,

I can hear you struggling with some conflicting feelings about your abortion experience. And I want to tell you that you're not alone in feeling that way. Many women feel only relief after their abortion, but start to worry that something's wrong when they don't experience the grief and regret they've heard follows an abortion. Because it sounds like you really want to talk to someone about this, I recommend you call OptionLine, at 1-800-395-4357(HELP), or visit their website at www.optionline.org. They'll put you in touch with your local pregnancy help center (PHC) so you can speak with an experienced counselor in your area about your situation. Your PHC counselor will listen to your concerns and offer guidance. They're 24/7, free, and ready to help - give them a call!
Beth

Mine came today too! Just thought I'd share so you could see the apparent similarities.

I was right, form letter.  

[Half Baked SF]

SterileNeedles

Seems like she gave a pretty good answer to the story you gave her. Perhaps someone who's a good actor should call that line and see how the counselors there handle the situation and then post about what happened.

Heh, I'd do it but I'm a terrible liar in real life.  

[Asexual-Slut~Enya]

Actually, by comparison, this letter wasn't so bad -- at least not blatantly so. She was far less willing to badger you than I would have guessed -- she definately earns points for that.

However, her source frightens me a little. If I were to guess, that particular source would essentially tell you that you should forgive yourself; however, in return, you should do... (Insert some form of pro-life activism here).

I imagine they would try to guilt you into being an active lifer.  

[SterileNeedles]

Toga! Toga!

SterileNeedles

Seems like she gave a pretty good answer to the story you gave her. Perhaps someone who's a good actor should call that line and see how the counselors there handle the situation and then post about what happened.

Heh, I'd do it but I'm a terrible liar in real life.

Yeah, I'm a pretty bad liar. xD I can only lie to my mom really. And if I called them I'd probably start laughing in the middle of it.  

[MipsyKitten]

Toga! Toga!

SterileNeedles

Seems like she gave a pretty good answer to the story you gave her. Perhaps someone who's a good actor should call that line and see how the counselors there handle the situation and then post about what happened.

Heh, I'd do it but I'm a terrible liar in real life.

It's not lying, it's 'acting' biggrin  

[Half Baked SF]

MipsyKitten

Toga! Toga!

SterileNeedles

Seems like she gave a pretty good answer to the story you gave her. Perhaps someone who's a good actor should call that line and see how the counselors there handle the situation and then post about what happened.

Heh, I'd do it but I'm a terrible liar in real life.

It's not lying, it's 'acting' biggrin

I suck at that too. Like SterileNeedles, I'd end up laughing or close to it in the middle of that consultation call. xd  

[KoopaTroopa18]

October Cross

Quote:

Q. Dear Beth,
I had an abortion in July. I have read that many women feel guilty and become depressed after getting an abortion. I'm not sorry. I do not feel guilty. In fact, I am glad I did have an abortion, since I was not financially able to support the pregnancy. (I could barely afford to feed myself once a day. I was making decisions like food or tampons, food or shampoo, food or rent and I still am.) I applied for the welfare insurance but I was declined since I still live with my primary caretakers. Is it normal to not feel sorry at all? I'm not sure if it is, but are there any women that feel comfortable about their decision like this?

Thanks, Ashley
PS: Don't publish this. I'm kind of embarrassed to ask.

A. Dear Ashley,

I can hear you struggling with some conflicting feelings about your abortion experience. And I want to tell you that you're not alone in feeling that way. Many women feel only relief after their abortion, but start to worry that something's wrong when they don't experience the grief and regret they've heard follows an abortion. Because it sounds like you really want to talk to someone about this, I recommend you call OptionLine, at 1-800-395-4357(HELP), or visit their website at www.optionline.org. They'll put you in touch with your local pregnancy help center (PHC) so you can speak with an experienced counselor in your area about your situation. Your PHC counselor will listen to your concerns and offer guidance. They're 24/7, free, and ready to help - give them a call!
Beth

Mine came today too! Just thought I'd share so you could see the apparent similarities.

*hugs October* it's okay. I think it is normal for people not to have feelings for killing something. Like, do you have feelings for killing a bee once it has tried to sting you? most people don't. I say that there are women who feel guilty, don't feel anything, are hungry after it, etc. I think that everyone will have a different reaction to the same thing.

And about the letter... I'd burn it.  

[Calixti]

I wrote Positive Alternatives and said I was pregnant and asked for advice on how to find an abortion provider. I'm waiting for a response. It should be pretty. . .interesting.  

[Tingilyae]

Asexual-Slut~Enya

Actually, by comparison, this letter wasn't so bad -- at least not blatantly so. She was far less willing to badger you than I would have guessed -- she definately earns points for that.

Probably just because it was already "too late".

Asexual-Slut~Enya

However, her source frightens me a little. If I were to guess, that particular source would essentially tell you that you should forgive yourself; however, in return, you should do... (Insert some form of pro-life activism here).

I imagine they would try to guilt you into being an active lifer.

I too get the feeling they have a nice little snare prepared somewere within their counseling.