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 Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:19 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:43 am
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:03 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:22 pm
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All right, here's the deal: one of my friends is 17, and she's pregnant, about 5 weeks along, by now. She is planning on getting an abortion. Her family situation is crappy, and her mom would kick her out of the house if she ever found out. Her boyfriend is staying with her, though.
Anyways, they have the abortion appt. scheduled. It's at a clinic in Rockford, Illinois, if that helps anyone answer my question. Luckily. there's no law that says she has to have parental notification.
Our main concern is about protestors. It's going to be me, her, and another friend going with her. We're all 17, and we all look younger than we really are.
I was wondering if anyone has been through anything similar, or has been to a clinic or something, and could tell me what it was like and what to expect. We're all a little freaked about it, because it's going to be hard enough helping her out.
If someone could pm me or email me about it, or post it here, it would be really helpful, because we want as little stress for her as possible. My beliefs aside, I'm ready to support her to the end.
Thank you heart
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:42 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 10:02 am
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Chalda Ok this might not be too helpful and sort of stupid but maybe it would help to bring and umbrella. That way if things get bad you can open it and put it infront of her and push your way through. Keep in mind that they can not touch you and they can not prevent you from going in. If they do you can call the police and have them arrested. Good luck and I hope she does well.
I agree. Bring an umbrella, or anything you can use to shield you from protestors (a big bag maybe, a purse, etc). Keep a phone handy, in case you need to call the police, otherwise the only thing I can think of to suggest is that the abortion is your friend's business - HERS, and not the protestors, so if there are any, just do your best to ignore them. Your friend is doing what's best for her and her boyfriend, and hopefully they'll learn something from all of this, and be more careful in the future. |
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:07 pm
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ok see, i will feel a lot better after i post this i know that
ok i have two children, both unplanned and both with bad side affects. my first son i had toxima, and i had to stuy hard into that and all diseases relating with pregnancy *im a lil obsessed with the good and bad sides so i study it all to get a heads up* well after my first son, i decided i couldnt bear having another one. i loss my grandmother in november of 2003...i stayed drunk from the day after she died until april 7th when i found out i was pregnant again...i toyed with abortion, but then realized it was too late, so i had him, and im glad i did
my husband left me in june 2004, just said he was going to work and never came home, i was stuck a seperated mother and pregnant 19 year old girl with nothing to keep me occupied. i had my second child in august and after that i decided i needed to buckle down and show these kids a great mother. i ended up moving on in november with a great man, who cares about me and my kids, but i got pregnant right after we decided to split up...we talked about it and decided my body wouldnt beable to handle it *both children were c-sections and my uterus was just barely healling as it was when i got pregnant again* well i told my dad i needed money to buy stuff for the kids and ended up getting the abortion. it killed me to do it but we had decided that if i was to carry a child again then we will let fate choose when i get pregnant next and with who.
it kills me everyday knowing i killed a life, and knowing more tht i almost killed my second, but i think fate might have given me one more chance because i might be pregnant as i speak *big hush hush* i decided if i am to be pregnant i wont terminate this pregnancy but just keep the baby and not let the father know *we might have broken up in february but were still close as if we were together* i just couldnt make him live the life i lead...he lives in a small town, cant find a job,the people he lives with none of them can find a job either, i try to help whenever i can but i got priorities...but if i am to get pregnant again i will keep it, the abortion was the most painful time of my life and i cant do it again mentally.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:34 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:57 pm
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There are a few ways to go through an abortion... but I would really like permission from the moderator as the description can be graphic.
I have sort of been through both, one when I was 14 and raped, and the other was a late term and because of a medical problem that would have cost us both our lives if hers had not been ended.
I still greive for both these losses even though one happened over 23 years ago and the other happened about 9 years ago. The more recent loss was the hardest to bear as I had one of the odd pregnancies where there are NO symptoms... I always thought they were a myth until it happened to me... I was regular as clockwork, no nausia, no increased sense of smell, no cravings notherg but some mild back pain, that I chalked up to work.
I worked in X-ray at the time and as some of you may know x-ray + pregnant = not good. Worse if you work there. But I did not know so I continued without modifying my work, I was doing heavy lifting, heck I even when to a couple of evenings and had a few drinks (no driving). Things i would never do if I knew. The I got seriously ill at work ( more on that if I get permission to describe my experiance from the moderator) and waked into my OB/Gyn office scared as heck (she worked in the same buliding I did) and demanding her to fit me in, one look at me and she did. She got me in for an immidiate emergency U/s and that was when I found out I was almost 5 months along, and I was loosing the baby! I had no time to come to erms with being pregnant, let alone that I was going to have no choice but to terminate the pregnancy or die. I had sworn that I would never do that again ( it was my own personal decision on it I support a woman's right to choose and encourage an informed choice) I was so devistated.
O.k. so i got permission and the post to follow may contain material disturbing to some and definatly not intended for very young readers... however if you think abortion is an easy option then read onward.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:59 pm
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WARNING: What follows is a graphic depiction of my personal experiance of abortion. It may be distressing to persons who have been through a procedure of this nature or persons who are sensitive. Please concider carefully before reading on. I have recieved permission to share this but it may contain descriptions that could be disturbing to some readers.
Mod Edit: This is a very graphic description of an abortion, among other things. It was hard for even me to read, and I've never been pregnant or had an abortion. If you think you cannot read it, then please skip past this post. However this edit is just to confirm that she has my permission to be this graphic in her descriptions.
Please bear in mind that this is a true depiction of what I recall of what I experianced. I live through this and the memory still causes some pain. I personally believe that all women have the right to choose what happens with their own bodies and this post is in no way intended to disuade someone who has decided that abortion is a choice for them. However I have seen many teens thinking that abortion is an easy out for unconcidered unprotected sex and that if they get pregnant then they can just terminate it and forget it. Abortion is an option but as with all choices there are consequences, these were my own.
At the age of 14 I was molested by my father, as a result I became pregnant. I told my mom, as I had no choice, I had to have her permission to have surgery. I knew I could not try and have the baby and give it up, as my father was a scary abusive man who have threatened my life with a gun kept in our home. I was too frightened to tell the whole truth so I let my innocent boyfriend take the fall. We had broken up anyhow. This was a long time ago, and at that time in Canada you could not just go to a clinic. You had to go through an OB/GYN and then go before a tribuneral of doctors on the hospital board who would decide if you were ALOWED to terminate the pregnancy. I had to have ultrasound to determine how far along I was. I was terrified that after all the tests (urine came back negative at first so the a blood test was taken and it came back positive... all the time the clock was ticking because if I hit three months all bets were off and I would have to have that child, if my father let me live long enough) I would still be told that the doctors had dtermined that I would not be allowed to have the abortion.
However I was permitted, I was concidered to young to safely have the baby. So I went to the OB/GYN to have the beginning of the end. I went after school on Friday to an appointment where a device called a Laminar Tent was inserted into my cervix. This is a small stick of compressed dried sterile sea weed about the diameter of a pencil, with a string on it like tampon. This device would absorb any amniotic fluid and open the cervix to prepare my body for the procedure.
That night was agony. I had cramps worse than any period it was very close to labour pain ( but I did not know that at the time). I lay there that night feeling very alone, scared, ashamed and feeling as if I could feel the child inside dying. I knew there was no turning back at this point. I cried most of that night and finally fell asleep.
The next morning early my mom took me to the hospital and I was put under general ansthetic and the doctor performed what is called an Evacuation and curtage, or E & C. The contents of my womb were suctioned out and the walls scrapped to remove any remaining tissue. But I was totally out and knew nothing.
After I went home, spent the weekend in bed and went back to school on Monday. Physically it was not too bad, just like a heavy period. Emotionally I was in a great deal of turmoil. Seven years later I confessed to the boy who had taken the blame, I never told my father, and I had finally told my mother what had really happened. I got some therapy, much needed and have sort of recovered emotionally.
I resolved that abotion was not an option for me; I vowed I would never again go through that kind of an experiance.
That was not to be the case for me. Many year and two children later I faced having to terminate another pregnancy. I was in my late 20's divorced and seeing the man who would later become my husband. I was on the pill, and took extra precautions when I was taking a course of antibiotics for an Upper Respritory infection. I was working as an x-ray technologist, and working with fluorscopy (real time x-rays, for things like the bowel and such, you get more exposure in this environment and if you are pregnant you use extra lead sheilding) However I hade no reason to think I might have been. My periods were regular, I was on the pill, we used condoms.
One day while on break at work I stood up from the steps where I sat to drink my coffee and get some fresh air. Suddenly I felt a horrendous pain in my belly and felt somthing warm pour down my legs. It was blood, from my tail to my toes I was soaked in blood. I went inside and into the office of the doctor who was my regular Obstitrician/ gynocologist and demanded to see her now. Her secritary asked me if I had spilled my coffee, and I said "NO!" She then asked "Period?" again I shook my head, I was so scared I did not know what was going on. The doc, came out of her office and took one look at me and took me in to her office.
I was passing blood clots the size of golf balls. She got me to start drinking water and had me go over to the hospital about 5 min walk down the road. I had to go to the maternity wing as it was the only place she could get me an emergency ultrasound. As i lay there wondering what the heck was happening the Tech (who knew me through work) Chirped up... "well hey the baby looks o.k." I was stunned! "The What???" She excusedherself to go get the doctor. The head Ob/Gyn of the hospital, a soft spoken irish man can in and looked at the ultrasound. He was frowning. He explained to me that the fetus looked to be about 16 to 20 weeks but there was a problem, the placenta was pulling away from the wall of the Uterus. The hospital in my town was not equiped to handel a late term termination, but if I did not have it done I would bleed to death and the baby would die anyhow.
I was referred to a clinic in the large near by city that was equipped to handel a late term termination. I took a cab to the clinic and had a consultation with the doctor who would perform the procedure. It was kind of creepy. There was a buzzer outside a locked door, you had to buzz in and then face the camera. The waitng room was full of women of all ages. I spoke to the doc about the risks and concerns, she seemed to think that this was a by choice thing. Even after I gave the report from the hospital. I again had to have the laminar tent inserted, but this time (since I had had two children they used more than one).
Back home I was useless, the pain was very intense. I had to call my mother and ask her to come over and see to me and the kids. I did not want to explain what was going on. However if I was going to get her help I needed to. She took us back to her place. The following morning my boyfriend and I went back. This time the experiance was VERY different.
here is were things get really graphic
I was ushered into a small room, hooked up to an IV and given a drug called immune globlin (I am Rh - so there is a danger of an Rh+ baby's blood crossing over during an abortion just as with a delivery) Next I was given a drug they called a seditive. It was a paralytic. I was now unable to move at all. I was not sedated or unable to feel pain I was just unable to move.
The doctor dilated my cervix, and this HURT a great deal. I could hear the suction of the machine, see the blood and tissue going into the machine. Something (I assume the fetus) was taken away by a nurse wrapped in a blue incontinace pad. All the time the tears were streaming down my face. The cramping was agonizing. I felt like vomiting but noting happened. I felt every thing they did, heard every comment, every noise. I knew that a life I had created and would have love and cared for the same as my other two was ending. I knew I had no choice. It was only a few minutes, but felt like an eterinty. My boyfriend was not allowed beyond the waiting room, they were rather annoyed that I had even brough him along. Men were clearly not welcome here even if they were being supportive.
I was given a drug to reverse the effects of the paralytic and once able to move again they wanted me to go and sit in a room of comfy chairs with a group of very young women. I was feeling sick and very shakey and asked if I could lie down somewhere. They took me to a small private room with a cot that they had to move some suppiles off of. They gave me a blanket and I lay down. Since we were in private tehy alloed my boyfriend to come back and sit with me. I believe they were worried about me.
After a few minutes they began to pressure me to go home. I made them keep me there for at least an hour, I really felt unwell and I could not stop crying. Finally we went home. But this was not the end. The condition that had caused the post placental abrubtion (the original cause of the bleeding) was called placenta acreatia (where the placenta grows into the wall of the uterus) was making me bleed out. Because I was lying down a great deal the blood was forming clots and holding the blood inide until the pressure would force out the clot.
After two more D&C's . This only made things worse. Finally my OB/GYN and I came up with a plan and she told me if the bleeding did not stop she would go in with a scope and find the source of the bleeding. She found it after I passed a clot about the size of a soft ball. The right half of my uterus had torn and had to be cauterized (that is burned to stop the bleeding).
A few years later my boyfriend, now my husband, and I wanted to try for another baby. X-ray tests showed that the right side of my uterus was deformed from scarrring. They did not think it possable for us to have another child. We were lucky and beat the odds and I now have a lovely little girl, as well as my two handsom sons. But this experiance was one of the most terrifying and horrid of my life.
I sincerely hope that my sharing my experiance will help others give some serious thought to what it is like to go through a clinic abortion vs. a hospital abortion.
Deciding early is crutial to minamizing the physical pain, but the emotional scars will always be there. The best thing for me is to know it is o.k. to mourn your loss, even if it was your decision to end the pregnancy, you have the right to mourn, say good by, and process the greif. Even though I still cry sometimes when I think about Sarah (yaa we named the child I had to terminate at 5 months gestation). It helps me greive.
I am willing to talk about this highly emotional time in my life. Particularly if it helps someone else concider their life choices more carfully. I believe that abortion should never be a primarly methoed of birthcontrol. Repeated dilations like this can cause a condition called imcompitant cervix where you cannot maintian a pregnancy. There are risks from infection to death. Just please remember that this is a very tender subject for me. I shared this with you to save you from what I went through.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:09 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 11:33 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:59 pm
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Krystlanna LeRaven Wow, I read that all, and I'm slightly speechless...I don't know what to say.. Now I'm not all 'OMG NO ABORTION!' but it's not right in some cases, but in others like this, I think it just had to be done. Thanks for reading the whole thing.... It was as hard to recount as it is to read. I am sorry for your cousin's loss. Thanks for taking the time.
I read it all too and I'm speechless as well... and I agree with le Raven: in som cases it's not allright but in some it just has to be done. Sorry for your loss too... heart |
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:40 pm
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Hi, I'm 15. About 2 months ago, I hooked up with an ex-boyfriend, we are still best friends. We had unprotected sex. I'm not for sure how long, but after a while I experienced some symptoms of pregnancy. My Phys Ed teacher is a real jerk, he kept yelling at me and I put up with his crap for about 3 weeks, one days, i got nausiated and dizzy in front of my parents, they asked me if I was pregnant, I said no, they asked me if there was any chance, I said no. Later my dad and I were talking, and he asked me the same thing, I stuck to the answer. He said good, cause if you were I couldn't handle it, your life would be over, I got pissed. A couple of days later I was going to the doctor for a sinus infection, the night before I had some spotting, I decided I would tell my dad the next day. The next morning I woke up with HORRID cramps, I went to the bathroom, I was on my period, I was flowing REALLY heavy, The next day, I was changing my tampon, and after I pulled it out, a huge mass fell out. I had HORRID cramps, and I told my two best friends, I never said anything to my dad, I am now convinced I had a miscarriage, I feel stupid, and I also partially blame my P.E. teacher for it b/c of the stress he put me under. I flowwed heavily for a while, about a week, I usually go for 2-4 days. I told my ex, he was a smart a** about it, but I told him that I wouldn't have sex w/ him again unless he had a condom, he understood.
To this day, I feel so DUMB, STUPID, and any other thing I can think of to call myself
~Barbi heart
P.S.Thanx Nikolita, I would have never found this on my own
P.S.S. If you have any questions you dont want to post, or have others see, just PM me that is fine
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