Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply The Boardroom of E-vil
If Conan was written by a drugged chimp with a thesaurus...

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Which is worst?
"Agafnd leaped Grignr and his sire, but found a sword blade permeating the length of his ribs before he could loosed his weapon."
33%
 33%  [ 2 ]
"Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of earth."
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
"The thews of the savages lashing right arm bulged from the glistening bronzed hide as his blade bit deeply into the soldiers neck, loping off the confused head of his senseless tormentor."
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
"If not for his keen auditory organs and lighting steeled reflexes, Grignr would have been groping through the shadowed hell-pits of the Grim Reaper."
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Jesus, God, no more...it hurts...
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 6


Mr Legion
Crew

PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:27 am
...it would not be entirely unlike The Eye of Argon, a rollicking fantasy story written by some 16-year-old kid called Jim Theis in the '70s.

An example - the barbarian Grignr gets his groove on, in the fevered imagination of a teenage virgin from the Ozarks:

Jim Theis
Eyeing a slender female crouched alone at a nearby bench, Grignr advanced wishing to wholesomely occupy his time. The flickering torches cast weird shafts of luminescence dancing over the half naked harlot of his choice, her stringy orchid twines of hair swaying gracefully over the lithe opaque nose, as she raised a half drained mug to her pale red lips.

Glancing upward, the alluring complexion noted the stalwart giant as he rapidly approached. A faint glimmer sparked from the pair of deep blue ovals of the amorous female as she motioned toward Grignr, enticing him to join her. The barbarian seated himself upon a stool at the wenches side, exposing his body, naked save for a loin cloth brandishing a long steel broad sword, an iron spiraled battle helmet, and a thick leather sandals, to her unobstructed view.

"Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian",questioned the female?

"Only if something worth offering is within my reach." Stated Grignr,as his hands crept to embrace the tempting female, who welcomed them with open willingness.

"From where do you come barbarian, and by what are you called?" Gasped the complying wench, as Grignr smothered her lips with the blazing touch of his flaming mouth.

The engrossed titan ignored the queries of the inquisitive female, pulling her towards him and crushing her sagging nipples to his yearning chest. Without struggle she gave in, winding her soft arms around the harshly bronzedhide of Grignr corded shoulder blades, as his calloused hands caressed her firm protruding busts.

"You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing.


Don't you feel worse at writing just for having read that? I'd never have realised a nose was capable of being 'lithe�, damn it. Enjoy!  
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 1:23 pm
I do hope whoever wrote that is still alive, so we might kill 'em. gonk  

Mystrunner
Crew

Dapper Gaian

750 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Member 100
  • Gaian 50

NECRO DISASTER
Crew

PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 2:05 pm
Arghhhhhhhhhh! My eyes are bleeding! Bleeding!!!! gonk  
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 7:34 pm
xp  

Belladonna from Whitwell
Crew


Rivkeh
Crew

7,650 Points
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Treasure Hunter 100
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:02 pm
Yet another story where the girl is basically raped, but it's okay, cuz she gets off... lemme go find something sharp... twisted  
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 5:44 am
Muahaahaa! On another topic of brainlessness, I found rap that I could actually enjoy. At least, I think it's rap. It's not in english, and doesn't involve the usual stuff... hmm, must find a way to upload. Hally! Email on the way!  

Mystrunner
Crew

Dapper Gaian

750 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Member 100
  • Gaian 50

NECRO DISASTER
Crew

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:01 pm
Yeah, it was really weird, the attachment you sent to me was 0 bytes...

Kinda odd.

Plus, I think I'd better go easy on the hosting stakes, I had my account temporarily deactivated over have Family Guy 401 up there. Someday, I'll have my own server...  
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:36 pm
... I wondered why it sent so fast... stare  

Mystrunner
Crew

Dapper Gaian

750 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Member 100
  • Gaian 50
Reply
The Boardroom of E-vil

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum