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::The Love:: ~A Christian Guild~ [Active once more!]

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A really long explination of a problem in need of advice:

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Have you ever been in a similar situation?
Yes. I remember this one time....
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 40%  [ 2 ]
No. But I do think I can offer some advice...
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No. And frankly I have no solution to your bizarre problem
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 40%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 5


my-unseen-tears

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:04 pm


Okay, i need advice on something that's been bugging me... the reason i'm posting it in here is because i'd like to get some christian feedback on the subject without going through all the drama of telling someone that i know in real life. Ready? Okay, here's the issue:

Since last summer a guy from my church has liked me. Probably everyone reading this has had someone have "a crush" on them, so it's not like this is foreign to anyone. The trouble is that i used to like him too, but that was quite a long time ago, but i knew that it couldn't work because of the way he is. He's not really strong in his faith... in fact, i really have never seen him show love for God other than at youth camp... and he's kind of a lady's man, i mean, he has a different girlfriend every month basically... yet he still likes me.

I can't help but feel that i have a part in this... when he started liking me, i didn't mind, i liked the attention... he was always tickling me and joking with me and it made me feel good. But at the back of my conscience i knew that i was doing something wrong... and once he actually asked me out, i had to tell him no because i knew that i was just being selfish and leading him on. Nevertheless, i got mad at him for not respecting me and continuing to flirt with me even after i told him that i didn't want to be that way with him. I got really angry at him and even stopped talking to him altogether (which was really hard considering that he's my brother's best friend).

And after a couple of months my brother told me that travis had stopped liking me, and that he had moved on. He's been with his girlfriend for about two months and they seem good together. So i let down my guard. I started talking to travis more, joking with him, and being his friend again. I thought that i was doing the right thing, i mean, after all, he had moved on right? All his feelings for me were gone.... not quite.

Apparently, he's taken my attempt at being friends again as a sign that i think there might be hope for us to be an "us" in the future. He's started tickling me and flirting again. I don't know what to do now... i don't want to lead him on, yet i don't want to sever all friendship with him. I like him a lot, just not romantically. I feel bad when he flirts with me because, naturally, i tend to flirt without realizing it so i feel like him promoting his behavior to some extent.

So what should i do? Should i stop talking to him again, or should i just let him flirt with me again, in hopes that he'll just get over it in time? I don't really want to talk to him about it, because i'm not sure what i would say. I don't want to make it sound like i'm accusing him either. But i still feel really bad every time he picks me up or even looks at me.

Any advice?


Oh yes, i'm fifteen and he is sixteen.
PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:05 pm


Well, I can tell of my close guy friend ANYTHING. I expect him to do the same. We're closer than and girlfriend/boyfriend relationship could ever take us. Maybe that's why I'm such a blunt person.

If you're truly his friend, and want to maintain a friend relationship, be straight forward about it. Tell him you just want to be friends, and you're not interested in any other relationship - and if he truly respects you, he'll understand.

windswept_fury
Captain


Guitarhero356

PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 9:05 am


Teenage drama! It is a B****! Well, you can expect more stuff like that while you're in highschool since that is usually the time when people try to figure out how the dating game works. I'd just be blunt honestly.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:38 pm


oh gosh Travis drama! xD I have GOT to meet this kid.

You know I have no experience, but whatever, tell him that he's a great friend, you love him, but not romantically, you don't want to date and you won't want to date if he keeps it up. Explain that you just want to be friends and that if he can't respect that then you'll have to quit hanging out with him. Get your brother to talk to him if all else fails?

*not very helpful* But I love you!

Elf_Linwe


Sam Clemens

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 10:41 am


The thing about guys is that a lot of the time they flirt without really like the person too. I have guy friends I flirt with all the time (even in front of my bf sometimes...) but they know it's all a joke. If he knows you dont' like him and your brother says he doesn't like you then there isn't really anything romantic going on. If you still like him though you should get yourself out of the situation cause it will only make it worse if he drops you.
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::The Love:: ~A Christian Guild~

 
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