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 Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2022 2:41 am
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tl;dr I'm sorry I was a bad friend.
I think about y'all from time to time. I like to remember the AIM chats, webcam jams, random phone calls, and gaming we use to do. It's strange. For literal years of my life, what I most looked forward to was chatting about the most inane things with everyone. From silly life updates to outrageous flirting to what song was on the radio. Everything was an exciting whirlwind of memories. I loved some of you like family and I loved some of you on a deeper level. Y'all mean more to me than my own flesh and blood does.
IRL my life was hell. I'd joined the military right out of high school. I wasn't cut out for it and wound up with a less than honorable discharge. I hated my family, was unemployed for years, put on 90 pounds, and even spent some time homeless. I was on the verge of being homeless again when the opportunity of my lifetime appeared. I jumped on it. I packed everything I owned into a single box and a duffle bag. Moved 650 miles away. Started my life over.
When I moved out, I left everything behind. I changed my phone number and email and didn't keep in touch with anyone. Internet or IRL. I wound up cutting ties with my family. I ghosted on my friends. I stopped hanging out here. Repressed some memories. Didn't even say goodbye. Just dropped off the face of the earth. Gave myself plenty of regrets.
Now my life is in a much better place. I have a stable job, own my own home, a partner I love, and a comfortable life. I still struggle with depression but I try to convince myself that life is good and that I deserve to be happy.
10 years have passed. Thanks for being a part of my life. I've been a terrible friend and I am sorry. Y'all deserved far more than what I'd given.
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2022 12:50 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2022 8:10 pm
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