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 Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 11:57 pm
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「PERSONALITY」
Tear Garden struggles with who she is as a wolf. She feels torn between what she was supposed to be and what she actually ended up as. She never feels truly at home; something was always wrong. She blames her childhood, but sometimes Tear Garden wonders if she's just broken. She should be happy, after all, as despite the tragedy that befell her as a puppy she has had a rather moderately happy life.
So why isn't she?
Tear Garden feels like she's not what her parents would have wanted. She was born in the Murkwood Court and was supposed to belong there. The Troll attack caused her to be ripped from her home and raised by the animals of a distant forest before finding the court once again as an adult. She has bounced from home to home, and somewhere along the way Tear Garden lost who she was.
She was supposed to be an Elf. If the attack hadn't happened she would have grown up as one, and yet she doesn't feel like she belongs. The memories the Elves have of her father are ones she isn't a part of, and that also hurts. The culture they share isn't one she feels close to. The faces who exclaim in delight when they saw her return were foreign ones.
Yet, she never truly belonged in the forest, either. Her adoptive parents had been hares and she had been painfully aware of who she was -- a wolf. Sure, the forest had been kind and loving, but Tear Garden was always aware she was different. That her kind was normally viewed as dangerous or predators to her strange family.
She never felt like she belonged in the places she ended up, and this has shaken her own views on herself. She lacks self-confidence and seems unable to make important decisions, as she fears making the wrong one and messing her life up further. She mourns for the future she could have had and the father she could have known. She struggles seeing the world around her as reality. She knows it's real, but dissociation is far easier than addressing the numerous issues she has slowly piling up.
And, really, it's embarrassing.
She knows she's struggling. She's aware she has depression and anxiety, yet why should she? She feels like all she does is complain. Sure, she didn't know her father like the others did, but she had been lucky to have him for the time she had, right? She has two homes, why does she not feel like she belongs in either? She's so fortunate, and yet she isn't happy, and it's eating away at her. She doesn't want to admit to anyone she's struggling.
Aside from her internal conflicts, Tear Garden has other sides to her. She's compassionate to others and due to her own struggles is able to understand the pain others hold. She reaches out to help others when she can, whether that means with herbs she's skilled with or a shoulder to lean on. While she herself might not seek help, she is someone who desperately wants to help others. Tear Garden believes strongly that kindness is the key to life. If others could just try and understand one another then the violence of the world could just stop.
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「FEARS」
█ || Trolls ⋯ They killed her father and many of the Elves. She wishes they could get along, but they're long past that.
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「LIKES」
█ || Gardening ⋯ She has a nice herb garden she tends to for her medicines and salves.
█ || Helping ⋯ She finds self-worth in assisting others where she can.
█ || Flowers ⋯ Her den is lined with them.
█ || Quiet ⋯ She gets overwhelmed by too much sound.
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「DISLIKES」
█ || Being a Burden ⋯ Which she feels like she often is at her current state.
█ || Violence ⋯ She's not naive, sometimes it's needed, bt she wishes for a world of peace and kindness.
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Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:07 am
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「BIOGRAPHY」
█ || Puppy ⋯
Born to Tearful Goodbye and Garden of Tranquility, she was the child of an Elder and Healer. Her mother died during childbirth, leaving her father to raise her with the help of his pack; The Murkwood Court. Tear Garden was incredibly young when the Troll attack occurred, and it was her father who saved her life by sacrificing his own during an attack and kicking her down the hill they were upon. Tear Garden rolled down the hill and injured her leg at the bottom. She found a cave for shelter during the night and was discovered by a deer who was kind enough to carry the pup to a nearby forest.
It was there she was raised, as the animals came together to tend to the injured pup. Two hares named Spot and Dandelion took it upon themselves to act as parents to her. While she was raised unconventionally, she was fairly happy in the forest.
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█ || Adult ⋯
Spot and Dandelion decided Tear Garden needed to learn to live alongside her own kind. While they loved having her in the forest, the two knew they had to let her live as a wolf if they wanted the best for her. Tear Garden protested this decision, but eventually caved out of the desire to not bother her family any more than she had. So, she traveled for the first time in her life.
She found her way to a field of flowers after weeks of uneventful traveling. This is where she met Beechbone and had the shock of her life; The Murkwood Court had survived the attack, although their numbers had been severely dwindled. She was recruited back into the pack, although reluctantly. Tear Garden wanted to be in the pack her father had intended for her, and she felt wrong denying the very pack her parents hailed from.
Yet, she didn't feel like she belonged.
This was incredibly troubling for Tear Garden, as she just wanted to do what her parents would have wanted. If the attack hadn't happened she would have surely felt at home with the Elves, so what was wrong now? Tear Garden struggled with her place in the world and began to fall into a deep depression.
As she pondered and struggled through life she bumped into Bone of Sunopal, the child of the current Head Elder. He also shared her feeling of not belonging, and this began a tentative friendship that slowly blossomed into warmth and understanding. A crush into turned, and Tear Garden was blessed to discover he felt the same way.
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Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:08 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:10 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:11 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:12 am
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