[J] || Nym's Wolves ||

[NymiiNym]

"Want you to tell me that I'm broken
That I'm finally choking
I'm not worth the rhyme
I'm just a dime, a rusty token
Tell me that I'm ******** up
Mentally unstable
Tell me that I care too much about my whole damn fable"
Broken by Sub Urban

 

[NymiiNym]

「BASICS」

█ || Name ⋯ Abyss
█ || Nickname ⋯ Abyss
█ || Birthday ⋯ 10.10.2019
█ || Breed ⋯ Dire
█ || Gender ⋯ Female
█ || Mate ⋯ Planned
█ || Orientation ⋯ Pansexual
█ || Obtained By ⋯ Breeding
█ || Home ⋯ A den within The Crows
█ || Pack ⋯ The Crows [Guard]
█ || Seer ⋯ No
█ || Color ⋯ #4A4791
________________________________

「LOOKS」

█ || Height ⋯ Average
█ || Weight ⋯ Heavier than most, due to muscles
█ || Scent ⋯ Charcoal and blood
█ || Disabilities ⋯ None
█ || Voice ⋯ Low and faint
________________________________

「LINEAGE」

█ || Parents ⋯ Big Bad x Bloodstone
█ || Siblings ⋯ Spinel [Bloodstone x Beryl] || Red Riding Hood [Adopted] || Wood Cutter [Adopted] || Pale Void [Big Bad x Bloodstone]
█ || Children ⋯ None

 

[NymiiNym]

「PERSONALITY」

Abyss is acutely aware something is wrong. She struggles continuously with who she is and the feelings she can't control, often overworking herself to try and prove herself wrong in some way. Clearly, this doesn't work, as she constantly is stuck in a cycle of self hatred and pushing herself to the bone.

Abyss has never felt in control of who she is. While she, deep down, is a good character, Abyss struggles with violent thoughts and urges. Somewhere in her wants to hurt others, and she tries desperately to hide this and bury it deep. It's always been present, even as a child, and it will continue to plague her through the rest of her life. Abyss wants to be good; she works hard at her duties and tries her best to control herself. She's been successful, as well, but that doesn't make her feel better. She feels guilty; incredibly so, and she won't ever feel at ease until the urges stop entirely.

It's why she became a Guard, mostly. A good outlet for those urges is training physically and attacking those who wish harm on her home. In battle she is much like her father; ruthless and brutal. She has absolutely learned his way of hitting someone as hard as she can to ensure they won't get up again. She's a force to be reckoned with and is a true threat on the battlefield, especially when the urges have gotten stronger.

Abyss speaks in a monotone tone and often has a stoic expression. She speaks in clipped and direct sentences. Despite how she can come off as intimidating, she is affectionate with those she's grown close to. Sure, it isn't vocal, but she shows her feelings in gestures and brief touches.

She also struggles with severe issues with her relationship with her father; Big Bad. She's observant and has already put together that she was born in hopes for an heir. Neither her sister or her ended up being eligible due to being female, and her father struggled with his own guilt complex. They don't interact much, and when they do it's awkward. It hurts, honestly. She's done all she can to get his attention and approval, but she knows her birth itself was a stress on him. She despises her adopted sister, Red Riding Hood, who seems to earn his adoration and attention despite not tending to her duties. She hates how she herself is never worth that same attention. Why wasn't she good enough, too?
________________________________

「FEARS」

█ || Never Being Accepted ⋯ By her father, primarily.
█ || Losing Control ⋯ Of herself, or her urges, of her strength. She fears the day it all comes loose.
________________________________

「LIKES」

█ || Training ⋯ It feels good to get that energy out in a productive way.
█ || Her Pack ⋯ She would die for her pack if it protected them.
█ || Collecting Fabrics ⋯ It's a hard task, as not many old fabrics can be found, but she likes lining her den with them.
█ || Order ⋯ Things make sense when there's order to everything. Rules are important.
█ || Being Useful ⋯ She wants to help where she can.
________________________________

「DISLIKES」

█ || Red Riding Hood ⋯ How can someone who disobeys every order and runs from her home be so loved?
█ || Her Urges ⋯ Is she truly a bad person deep down?

 

[NymiiNym]

「BIOGRAPHY」

█ || Puppy ⋯
She was born out of obligation, and she's felt that weight for her entire life. Her father needed an heir, and he hoped the agreement he made with Bloodstone would create just that. Unfortunately, two girls were born.

Abyss knew, deep down, her father didn't hate her. She just knew she wasn't what he had wanted, as blunt as that sounded. Her birth meant he'd have to try again, and it was obvious her father felt stressed about the fact they was no guarantee the next time would produce an heir, anyway. As a child she fought for his attention, but her father was always busy. That, and the moments she did earn his gaze it was awkward. He didn't know how to handle the lives he had selfishly brought into the world.

It hurt, but that was to be expected. At a young age she had to just accept she wasn't going to have the relationship she wanted. It was hard, of course, especially when her adopted sister Red Riding Hood seemed to earn all the love and affection she wanted with no attempts. In fact, Red was more often than not disobeying, and Abyss watched her with a burning hatred.

Why was someone so useless for the pack and her family so cherished?

This hatred urged her to begin looking where she could be useful. Her childhood was not eventful, as she deliberately focused on adult things. She was patiently waiting to grow and finally have a role. Unfortunately, most of her childhood was wasted due to this.

The violent urges began fairly early, causing her to distance herself from other puppies and wolves. Guilt washed over her like a burning wave. Why was all of her wrong? Her gender, her feelings, who she was all together. Abyss worked hard as a pup to hide her urges as best as possible.
________________________________

█ || Adult ⋯
She became a Guard immediately, training to no end to excel at her job. At the time the pack desperately needed Guards, and so she'd lend her natural strength where she could. Maybe along the way her father would finally notice her efforts, but she had begun to push that hope aside. She had not been born for love. Her purpose had been obligation, and while she did not fit the role they had wanted for her she could still fulfill something for the pack.

 

[NymiiNym]

「RELATIONSHIPS」

█ || Big Bad ⋯ Male ⋯ Father
How can she get his attention? She knows this is an unlikely scenario, but a part of her instinctively presses forward on hoping someday he might appreciate her for who she is. She's tired of hearing 'he loves you in his own way'. She wants to be important to him, and she doesn't feel as if she is.
________________________________

█ || Red Riding Hood ⋯ Female ⋯ Adopted Sister
She hates Red, and deeply. How can someone who disobeys all she is told and fights everything her father lays out for her be so loved? Abyss would do just about anything to be in her place, and yet someone who can't appreciate what she has somehow has Big Bad's affection. Abyss hates how childish it sounds, but she can't help but think this isn't fair.

 

[NymiiNym]

「ROLEPLAY LOG」

█ || name ⋯ With ??? ⋯ Ongoing/Finished/Dead
none!

 

[NymiiNym]

「FAMILIARS」

█ || name ⋯ gender ⋯ species
None yet! Soon!

 

[NymiiNym]

「SONGS」

█ || Broken ⋯ By Sub Urban

 

[NymiiNym]

「ART」