Opinion?

[Bri-the_cookie_goddess]

Alright, so here's the deal.
I am adopted on my dad's side (My biological mother married him, then adopted me so I'd have his last name. If that makes sense). My dad is the best there is and he's always been my dad ever since I was little. I've always known he wasn't my biological father. But blood doesn't really make family IMO.

So, my biological father I have never met. Well, once but it was really unexpected, very surprising and very upsetting (I won't post how that happened unless you ask and wanna know). ANYWAYS, so I do not actually know him.

I kind of want to meet him, but yet I don't. He's not the best person in the world and what he did to my mom is absolutely despicable. There are so many questions though that I want to ask him. Not to mention any health problems or issues that his side of the family might have that carried on to me. Plus there's all these other people that are family that I have not met. It doesn't seem fair that I do not meet them because of what he did.

I guess what I am asking is should I meet and talk with him, or should I just forget about it?

Opinions, thoughts?  

[DeathxGrip]

Bri-the_cookie_goddess

Alright, so here's the deal.
I am adopted on my dad's side (My biological mother married him, then adopted me so I'd have his last name. If that makes sense). My dad is the best there is and he's always been my dad ever since I was little. I've always known he wasn't my biological father. But blood doesn't really make family IMO.

So, my biological father I have never met. Well, once but it was really unexpected, very surprising and very upsetting (I won't post how that happened unless you ask and wanna know). ANYWAYS, so I do not actually know him.

I kind of want to meet him, but yet I don't. He's not the best person in the world and what he did to my mom is absolutely despicable. There are so many questions though that I want to ask him. Not to mention any health problems or issues that his side of the family might have that carried on to me. Plus there's all these other people that are family that I have not met. It doesn't seem fair that I do not meet them because of what he did.

I guess what I am asking is should I meet and talk with him, or should I just forget about it?

Opinions, thoughts?

I've got a friend who has experienced something similiar, although I don't know the back stories involving both biological dads. She's told me that she almost regretted meeting her biological dad, except she got to meet his family so now she kind of keeps in contact with the biological dad but has more contact with her cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Every family is different and has different values she realized and she's thankful to have met them and to accept her into the family despite the years they didn't meet. Personally, watching her and supporting her when she wasn't feeling that great about it made me realize how much harder this is to do that I thought it was. The tension from the past hangs onto your mind and your guard probably stays up. I'd say talk to a therapist about it if you can. I prefer therapists over counselors since most therapists ease into things rather than push what you need to do onto you(like a counselor, this is just personal experience btw).

I'm not sure how old you are, but I feel like dealing with it when you're in your 20's is the best, as you mature and age out of your teenage years and can make more logical decisions(or at least I started to make more logical decisions). It's also not too late in life to form a bond if you wanted to. As a teenager, I was easily upset, angered and ran away from my problems. I also hated confrontation so I wouldn't have been able to deal with it.

I hope this helps a bit ._., it's not easy but you'll get through it!  

[Taeryyn]

I suppose what it mostly boils down to is whether or not you think you'll regret it if you don't ask your questions or meet the other members of your family.

My situation was a little different, but I think I might be able to relate somewhat. First, I agree wholeheartedly with what you said about blood not making one family; my stepfather didn't come into my life until I was a teenager, but he is definitely my Dad.

Secondly, I was estranged from my biological father following my parents' divorce (suffice to say he was a horrible human being), but I am still in contact with most of my relatives from his side of the family. I value them immensely, and I'm glad that I didn't lose them after all the ugliness.

So, if meeting your biological father might lead to a relationship with others in your family, it could very well be worth it.  

[Bri-the_cookie_goddess]

DeathxGrip

Taeryyn

Thank you both for sharing your thoughts and opinions. I really appreciate it (:

I am 20 btw, and have had to deal with this since I was 16. He keeps bugging my parents, asking to talk to me and I keep saying I do not wish to talk to him. He keeps blaming my parents that they've brainwashed me into not wanting to talk to him and even said that they haven't even been telling me he's called. Total lies. I just want my freaking space and get comfortable in my own time.

I'm pretty pissed though that I feel I should just get it over with and talk to him. Maybe punch him in the face. Heh....

Anyways, thank you guys again ^^ heart