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 Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:06 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:27 am
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Day 1 - Parents
Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel like I should start off saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the things I’ve put you through, and not trusting you when you said you knew better. Like any child I thought I knew better. I thought I was different. Special. I know you would say that I am, but in all reality I was just another petulant kid who thought they knew everything. I’ve hurt you so much, and now I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for that.
One mistake is what tore us apart. One bad decision is what changed things forever. Even now, three years later, and it still hurts both of us. I had wanted you to see me as an adult. I wanted you to treat me as if I knew what I was doing, even though I realize now I hardly ever know what I’m doing. Every day I make it up as I go along. Maybe that is adulthood, and if it is, why can’t we ever go back?
Life away from home didn’t turn out like I thought it would. Making my own decisions, being the boss of my own life and having to take care of myself has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do. I didn’t appreciate all that you did for me until I had to do it for myself. I thought it would be easy. I thought I would know what to do. I thought that once you became an adult, some part of your brain was just supposed to open up and you’d have all the knowledge you’d ever need. I realize now I was wrong.
It took me a long time, but I’m finally happy now. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better. If it weren’t for you and the things you taught me, who knows where I’d be. You taught me that I deserve better than the meager amount of love someone is willing to give me. You taught me that I could do anything I set my mind to, as long as I was willing to work for it. Life isn’t easy, and now I understand why.
I need you to know that I love you. It may have taken hurting you, and myself, but I know that now. I know everything you did, you did because you wanted to protect me. We’ve all made mistakes. Some days I wonder if I’ll ever be able to live down my own. Now I can be a better person because I made mistakes. I’ve learned because I’ve lost. I know you never wanted me to know that kind of pain, but I want you to know that it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
You are my heroes. You’re good people who treat everyone with respect and have worked hard for what they have. You came from the bottom of the barrel and have made a life better than the one you were handed. I respect that more than anything. Someday I hope I can say the same thing about myself, and give you a reason to be proud of me. I want to make you proud, and I will. You really are the best parents I could have asked for. Thank you for loving me, even when I mess everything up. One day I will show you that I can do more.
Love,
Your Daughter. |
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:13 am
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Day 2 - A Crush
Dear Blue-Eyed Bag Boy,
I don’t know your name, and you don’t know mine, but for the past few months I’ve been coming into the market and I’ve seen you almost every time. I don’t mean that in a creepy, stalker sort of way either. I just moved into the area not too long ago and this is the closest place to buy groceries to where I live. I just notice you because you were the first person to smile at me and tell me to have a good day since I got here.
Things haven’t been good with me, and I moved here for a change of scenery. I don’t really know anyone, and no one has bothered to get to know me. Even at my job I’m just another fly on the wall; completely invisible to everyone around me. None of that is your problem though, and I’m sure you don’t want to hear about mine.
I just wanted to say thank you. I know it’s your job to be nice to everyone, but it has meant the world to me. A few times you’ve asked me about my day, and I always give you some generic answer. “It’s been okay, just a long day at work.” I’ll say. You’ll smile and nod in agreement. You remember that I prefer paper to plastic, except for my eggs that I want in a plastic bag by themselves. You’re nice to everyone you see, even the people who yell at you for bagging something wrong.
You have a smile that lights up your already beautiful eyes, and makes the bad things in my life seem so far away. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to tell you any of this in person, but I hope I do. Maybe someday I’ll even ask you out on a date. I don’t know what you would say, or if you have a girlfriend already, but I would very much like to buy you a cup of coffee, if only to say thank you for always being so kind.
So, thank you. You’re the brightest part of my day and you probably don’t even know it. In a way you may have saved me from drowning in all these new faces. If I never get to tell you any of this though, I just want you to know that I wish you all the happiness in the world. So few people are genuine when they smile or will ask about a complete stranger’s day. There are so few good people left out in the world, and I’m happy to have known you in any little way that I have.
Best wishes in life to you.
Love,
The Girl With The Shy Smile
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:27 am
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Day 3 - A Best Friend
Dear Wesley,
Where do I even begin? We’ve been best friends for over three years and you’ve helped me through so much. I’m sure I wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for you. You’re more than my best friend though; you’re my lover and my life. It’s because of you I’ve found my passion for acting again. You push me to be the best of myself, even when I’m too scared to take that next step. You make me a better person.
I’ll never regret that first night I kissed you. I took a leap, hoping and praying that our friendship would survive, no matter what happened. Not only has it become stronger than ever, but love has flourished as well. This past year as your girlfriend has meant everything to me, but I know it is only the beginning. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up every morning next to you, and fall asleep every night in your arms.
There are times we bicker and get on each other’s nerves, but it never lasts long. I can’t stay mad at you. You treat me better than I could have ever hoped someone would have treated me. You’ve taken all the pain from my past and turned it into something I can barely even remember. For the first time in my life I am happy. I have you to thank for that.
So to you, my best friend, my lover, my life, I say this- thank you. Thank you for saving me from myself. Thank you for saving me from the darkness of my own mind, and showing me what it is to really smile. Words can’t express what you mean to me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to.
Forever and Always Yours,
Samantha
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