<A> The Tree of Worlds (Ankou, Alva/Valyrmora & Sanngrigor)

[midnight_medea]

Val studied her host's hands as he spoke, they were rough, callused from years of holding weapons, reins, doing hard work in a cold climate. After a moment she glanced to Sann, the Valkyrie was sat off to the side, watching the night.
"I entrusted myself, my Mana with Sanngrigor, funny I did not go to my brother when the time came. Funny no one remembers me." She frowned a little. "I remember Gungnir." She admitted, looking to the spear. "The Valkyries are my strongest memory, the innocent spirits that lived in my fields. Battle and the great heroes that made up my army. I remember Nergal too of course, though his memory is in grey. Cold. You I remember as a shadow, perhaps as a child." She smiled. "I like children, even divine ones." She looked to him.

"I suppose it doesn't matter to anyone else who we are to each other. Or were. It's just a way of understanding ourselves."  

[A Wandering Esper]

"It is strange." He had to admit that much, to be honest. That she remembered little was one thing, but that he had little shards that revealed her own existence ? That seemed... Strange. It had taken jolting his memory as a gem, but he had remembered Nergal. No amount of jolting seemed to relent any true memory of her rather than her voice.

"What use would it be to truly change things now, even if it is rectifying it for the truth ? Not after so long, and not after that lie was all that I've known for all of one life and most of another. It is splitting hairs at this point, and I do not have the time to split hair." He sighed.

"I cannot give you a true answer beyond that Nergal wanted it the way it was..." That they were to be brothers. But why ? "And if I cannot get him to even do anything but exist in the basest sense, then I would be hard pressed to get us any sort of answer." There was an hint of bitterness in his tone. This was not what he had been meant for, not truly. The square peg did squeeze in the round hole, but it was quite uncomfortable, so to speak.

It was hard to imagine himself as a child, to be honest, though the mention seemed to bring all sorts of conflicting emotions in Ankou. "I had not thought I was cut out to be a father. Not with what kind of work I do... And not with how I had seen things unfold with Echo." She had more or less raised her children alone past the point where the Underworld was remade. "And yet it is exactly what happened. Cosine raises them and there is little I can do to help her... Too little. The harder I try to find a solution, the more it seems to elude me. I had thought I could simply take them with me. Make them discover the worlds along with me. Show them how beautiful things could be, but also show them the truths of the worlds in the only ways I know how. But when I spent most of my time in the Underworld... I cannot do that. Isidore might be able to tolerate it. Kyrie and Caelia... I do not think so. And I miss Cosine, I miss her so much... I told her I would be a father and I barely seem to be."

There was guilt here, not the raw and gaping wound it had once been, but a dull, familiar old ache that was constantly present. "And they grow fast, so fast... They are so clever in all the best and worst ways. You have seen that." Their so called grand plan, which honestly had been quite good, if they had just been a little bit stronger and asked for more help. "And I miss all this. Dad is always gone. Dad is always busy. Dad has to do the work of two gods and oh boy, does dad suck at it !" His tone had turned self-mocking, but he paused. His frustration certainly was not Val's fault. There was no reason for her to have to deal with it.

"And if they grew bitter like Akakios... I do not know how I could deal with it." There was a simple truth - he could not.  

[midnight_medea]

Goddess and host listened to his story. It wasn't really anything new to either of them. He had mentioned it in passing before and the children were all to aware of his plight. She knew she could sympathise with him, agree and tell him everything would be okay, but she wasn't going to do that. She was his Aunt and she was a goddess who spoke her mind.
"You worry too much Ankou." She said with a bit of a smile. "From what I've seen you're a great father, your children adore you and Cosine has done a good job raising them to understand your life. We are gods, they are gods our lives are complicated."

She studied him for a moment.
"So, stop wallowing and worrying and just get on with life. If you cling on to this melancholy you will just end up destroying yourself and your family. If there is one thing us Gods of the dead know it is that time is precious. You cherish time you spend with your family and they cherish the time they spend with you. Existance is what you make of it so stop moaning and enjoy it. Do that and they won't hate you. Let it get to you and I might have to smite you with gungnir for being an idiot. It's well within my right as an Aunt."  

[A Wandering Esper]

He could not help but roll his eyes at first. "Someone has to." Nergal clearly wasn't at this moment.

Thought she did have a point, he could not deny that. "It is just so hard to let it go." And he really had no idea why. He knew he should let go, but try as he might, he never seemed to be able to do so, not completely, at least.  

[midnight_medea]

"Did you really just roll your eyes at me?" She smirked up at him. Really she was pleased he was showing her a bit of attitude. "You think I am not concerned for my realm, for the state of things that are the very fabric of my being. It troubles me greatly, you are not alone in that I promise. I just mean where your family are concerned. Enjoy them, don't assume the worst of them, don't push them away because you feel lacking."  

[A Wandering Esper]

"As if I would ever dare such a thing." He had grown serious again, reaching for some wood to feed the fire with, though there was the faint echo of a smirk lingering on his face.

"I know that you are." It was not what he had meant. He knew full well how Val felt at the moment, chained down in her own way. "I am just.... Uncertain how to do that ?" It was not like there was a switch in his mind he could push, as handy as it would have been.  

[midnight_medea]

Val nodded sympathetically.
"Burdened with responsibility." She said, that was what he felt, as though he were carrying the world on his shoulders and in a way he was, the world of the dead.
"Perhaps by accepting you're not alone? I think that you are doing a good job, both of taking care of the dead and your family. I have been speaking with Ianthe, I want to reinstate him in his former role."  

[A Wandering Esper]

"I will try." And hopefully succeed, but it was easier to promise an attempt, rather than promise a victory.

The last comment came as a surprise. "He was not too receptive the last time I tried to talk to him." And what else could he have done ? He could not have forced the aoide to do anything, after all, even more so since the man had not been his.  

[midnight_medea]

"He was reluctant, I have to admit. He is holding out for a return from Nergal, though I have convinced him to help me out. I hope that once he gets back into the role he will feel more like himself." She smirked a little. "Alva thinks I am too soft on people, but I think in this case it is what was needed."  

[A Wandering Esper]

"He has suffered a lot more than he says, I think." It was likely that Ianthe had not been the only one who disobeyed and stayed... And he had been the only one who survived. Kindness was what he deserved at this point, even though he had brought it upon himself in some way.

"I am uncertain if there is a way to heal him. None of the healers I have found were able to, though they were able to make his pain manageable, at least."  

[midnight_medea]

"I wondered if restoring the realm might help him, as it was the realm that did the damage?" It was a long shot but perhaps it could work. "Or one of the gods, should medicine return to us, maybe Harmodius himself could aid him, he certainly deserves a break. His only sin was to remain loyal to everything he knew."  

[A Wandering Esper]

"Hmmm. Well, it is worth trying if nothing else." Ankou admitted. He did not know, not really. This kind of thing was not his forte, not truly.

"If he was not already aoide, then maybe that process could have reversed that damage." After all, if Xun was able to more or less turn one of this into a dragon, then surely this was possible ?  

[midnight_medea]

"We can only try." She agreed, rebirth it seemed was one long experiment. She looked up at the night sky.
"I suppose I should allow Alva to rest." She said, reaching out for her pack to use as a pillow.  

[A Wandering Esper]

"Most likely best." He agreed. He could stand guard until morning and wake them up then.