[RDY/CRIT] The Mark, Jorden Phorest

[kiramori2]

Hero alias: The Mark
Real name: Jorden Phoset
Powers/abilities: Summons Arrows, When drawing back any bow he can summon a normal arrow but as he progress he will be able to summon more then just normal i.e fire, ice, homing.

Which area is the character based/from: Tasea
Age upon entering academy: 16
How did your character get their powers: He was born with the power but did not find out about it till he was 8.
Motivation for entering academy: To learn use his power and to master it.

Strengths: Great aim and really fast draw back speed with a bow. Really good eye sight.
Weaknesses: Close combat and darkness.

Personality: Dose not like to talk with other people unless he has to and even then still doesn't like to do so. Loves animals with a passion so much he is a vegan. If you do end up being able to friend him he is vary kind and will help you over finish the mission. Dose not like it when anyone touches his stuff, if anyone even friends or family were to touch his stuff he flips out and sometimes will even fight them. His favorite food to eat is anything made out of potatoes. He was born on the 19th of February but most of them time when people ask he will say March 1st. Unless it is agents the law he always has his bow on his body. He wont kill unless he has to do so even though he doesn't like to talk to people he still wants them safe and wont kill them.

General backstory: Jorden was born February 19th to his mother Gewn Phorest and his father Luke Phorst. His mother was taken from him when giving birth. After that his father said he would never remarry or even date any girls for he had one love and not one can take that. Growing up Jorden's father loved to go hunting with his bow and arrows. Jorden never liked this thing and thought that he would never do such terrible things to helpless creatures. At the age of 8 Jorden's father took him out hunting with him to try and show Jorden that it was fun and that they don't feel any pain. Before they went out for the real animals Jorden's father handed him a bow and told him to draw it back. As Jorden did so however an arrow started to form. After it was fully back the arrow was knocked and ready in the bow. Jorden's father was shocked by this and took the bow as soon as he saw it and took the arrow to look at it. When he saw it was just a normal arrow he told his son to do it again. As Jorden pulled back to bow, yet again an arrow started to take shape then knock itself. His dad knowing of kids having powers decided to help teach his son how to shot a bow. When he first tried to teach him he told Jorden to shoot at an animal that was passing by. Jorden told his father he will not kill any animal or man unlees it was a danger to others and it had to be done. After trying to convince his son to see it his way Jorden's father gave up and started to make target dummies for Jorden to shoot at. Every time that Jorden hit the bulls eyes of the target his father would make the target smaller and further away. At age 15 Jorden was hitting targets as small as a penny at 50 away. Jorden's father then told his son about Sidekick Academy and to go there to learn more. Jorden agreed with his father and then on is 18th birthday went off to join.

Looks department: He is about six feet tall and kinda skinny about 160lb. Has brown hair straight and about to his shoulders. and brown eyes. He most of the time wears clothing that is made from silk unless he is going on a long trip then he will wear clothing made from wool but dose not enjoy it. He is tan skinned but not vary well defined mussels. His arms and legs are anatomically the right size same with his hands a feet. His ears are rather big but not to an extreme maybe an inch larger in radius then normal ears. His noise is rather small which he enjoys for it dose not get in the way of his aiming. His costume looks like a mask that covers his whole face but his eyes with little horns coming off the top of it the color being yellow with black strips. His outfit is a shirt that he found with some tears in it also a yellowish color and some black pants he found laying around his house before leaving with a belt holding them up and the buckle having an arrow on it.  

[Shnazz]

Hello there Kira~ : D
I see you're ready for some crit, so off we go!

@Powers
I think this is really interesting, but I'd like to know more. How many arrows can he summon at a given time? When does he gain new ones?
I'd suggest mapping out his powers from Rookie to Hero so we can get a better idea of what he is/will be capable of. Make sure to have some good limitations per stage too!

@Age/Motivation
As stated in the rules of profile making, if he's going to be 16 there needs to be a really good reason. And I feel like his motivation on entering SA is really lacking, considering that in the backstory, apparently he's been already trained to the point of a perfect marksman by his father? This alone also brings up some question marks because he finds his powers at 8 and from 8 to 15 apparently becomes a master at shooting. There's not really much room for development if he's already mastered his skill/powers and defeats the purpose of going to SA.

I'm also wondering about what did he do about school?

Overall, this quest needs a bit of work in every section because it has a lot of missing details. If he doesn't like people, why go to a school full of super powered kids? And what exactly happened to his mother, why was she taken? Didn't his father try to fight whatever happened?

I'd got into more specifics with questions but I don't want to be blowing air into places you don't intend to go with your character.
So I'll just leave it at this. u__u b