Pets and Relationships

[Gabrielle_AnimalLuver]

So...I'm dating this guy...okay, we've been on one date and I'm seeing him again saturday. It was actually my first date in 2 and a half years sweatdrop
anyway, he seems like a real good match. I mean, he skis (okay snowboards, but at least he can keep up he used to be an instructor) hikes, loves animals and nature etc etc. Our first date we walked along the lake and then just sat by the water and talked. He asked me what pets I had and I told him about my zoo, and how I had a cat for 14yrs but lost him this year. He says to me all casual like "I'm actually allergic to cats" eek ...

I just stared at him...and then said "Shhiittt"

I really like this guy, he is like my dream guy in every way. But...I can NOT live without cats. I am a CRAZY CAT LADY dating a guy who is allergic to cats. confused

So I was thinking...I'll see how it plays out, keep seeing him, if anything, at least to get back in the game. And then if he wants to get serious/exclusive. I will lay it out for him. That if he ever wants to live with me, he will have to live with cats. I can accept keeping them out of certain rooms, vacuuming constantly. But I can not NOT have a cat. I think i'd rather be single.  

[~ Aki - Fairy ~]

I'd try and find out more about his allergy, see if there's any sort of compromise to be had (some people are less allergic to longer-haired cats because [if fed a good diet at least] they don't shed as much as short-haired, for example).

Like you, I could not live without my pets, and would probably choose having them over having that particular partner - there's lots of suitable men out there - nothing compares to a special animal.  

[Cowgirl-with-heart]

Yea, and it depends on how severe his allergies are, if its just a stuffy nose, and a little sneezing, he can deal, and there are shots, and medications, its not a deal breaker for the most part these days. I would n** it in the bud though, you dont want to be like, eventually find out, after getting way attached and such. Also, people arent allergic to EVERY cat usually, you might be able to find one that doesnt trigger him!  

[Shanna66]

i was a b***h while dating, i would have dumped him rigth then and there lol

but you still have a chance. if i can handle still having rats while being allergic to them then your new guy might still have a chance with you. pills, vacuuming, dusting, super clean litterbox/cage, good diet, and plenty of pet baths helps me keep my allergies in check. also no rats in the bedroom, or in your case that would be cats  

[Gabrielle_AnimalLuver]

Well there are vaccines for allergies nowadays. Keeping the house clean and the bedroom cat free can be enough for some people. I don't wana seem unsypathetic or expect him to be on drugs his whole life. I could comprimise by not letting the cats in the bedroom and vacuuming a lot, but that's as far as it goes for me. I have been on my own for the VAST majority of my life. So perhaps I am a bit biased when I say this, but...Men come and go. Absolutely they provide a level of companionship that can't be matched by pets. But even people who have been married for years, break up. I can not see myself living without a cat, but I can see myself living without a man. Spoken like a TRUE crazy cat lady sweatdrop  

[SmoothSavage]

My friend's boyfriend is severely allergic to cats. She has two cats and they live in a trailer.

She bathes the cats twice a month, brushes weekly, and sweeps or vacuums twice a day. The boyfriend's allergies are just fine, and he lives in the trailer with them.  

[Kithy Kitty]

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Well there are vaccines for allergies nowadays. Keeping the house clean and the bedroom cat free can be enough for some people. I don't wana seem unsypathetic or expect him to be on drugs his whole life. I could comprimise by not letting the cats in the bedroom and vacuuming a lot, but that's as far as it goes for me. I have been on my own for the VAST majority of my life. So perhaps I am a bit biased when I say this, but...Men come and go. Absolutely they provide a level of companionship that can't be matched by pets. But even people who have been married for years, break up. I can not see myself living without a cat, but I can see myself living without a man. Spoken like a TRUE crazy cat lady sweatdrop

I'm with you on this.

Even though I got my dog after I was married... let's say it didn't happen that way.

If he didn't like my dog or was allergic and refused to compromise with anything other than giving the dog away.. wouldn't happen. That's the end.

He actually did that to me though. It was the "we have 16 cats so if you don't like cats... gtfo". I guess he was fortunate that I like them?

The best thing you can do is talk to him and see how bad it is or how far he's willing to compromise.  

[Gabrielle_AnimalLuver]

Kithy Kitty

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Well there are vaccines for allergies nowadays. Keeping the house clean and the bedroom cat free can be enough for some people. I don't wana seem unsypathetic or expect him to be on drugs his whole life. I could comprimise by not letting the cats in the bedroom and vacuuming a lot, but that's as far as it goes for me. I have been on my own for the VAST majority of my life. So perhaps I am a bit biased when I say this, but...Men come and go. Absolutely they provide a level of companionship that can't be matched by pets. But even people who have been married for years, break up. I can not see myself living without a cat, but I can see myself living without a man. Spoken like a TRUE crazy cat lady sweatdrop

I'm with you on this.

Even though I got my dog after I was married... let's say it didn't happen that way.

If he didn't like my dog or was allergic and refused to compromise with anything other than giving the dog away.. wouldn't happen. That's the end.

He actually did that to me though. It was the "we have 16 cats so if you don't like cats... gtfo". I guess he was fortunate that I like them?

The best thing you can do is talk to him and see how bad it is or how far he's willing to compromise.

See it's one thing to have a pet and say, I am not giving up this animal because I made a commitment to them. But I currently do not own a cat. So, it wouldn't be so far fetched to expect me to just, not get another cat. Right, I mean, I can understand, ur allergic to cats and ur girlfriend brings home a cat it's like ugh, WTF? But I am a cat person. It's just who I am. By some fluke I meet this guy 2.5 months after loosing my cat. But that does not mean I will not own another cat again. I'm just going through a temporary catless moment while I come to terms with loosing my best friend. I am still a cat person and will always be. To be with me and expect me not to have cats is to expect me not to be myself. Point Final.  

[Kithy Kitty]

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Kithy Kitty

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Well there are vaccines for allergies nowadays. Keeping the house clean and the bedroom cat free can be enough for some people. I don't wana seem unsypathetic or expect him to be on drugs his whole life. I could comprimise by not letting the cats in the bedroom and vacuuming a lot, but that's as far as it goes for me. I have been on my own for the VAST majority of my life. So perhaps I am a bit biased when I say this, but...Men come and go. Absolutely they provide a level of companionship that can't be matched by pets. But even people who have been married for years, break up. I can not see myself living without a cat, but I can see myself living without a man. Spoken like a TRUE crazy cat lady sweatdrop

I'm with you on this.

Even though I got my dog after I was married... let's say it didn't happen that way.

If he didn't like my dog or was allergic and refused to compromise with anything other than giving the dog away.. wouldn't happen. That's the end.

He actually did that to me though. It was the "we have 16 cats so if you don't like cats... gtfo". I guess he was fortunate that I like them?

The best thing you can do is talk to him and see how bad it is or how far he's willing to compromise.

See it's one thing to have a pet and say, I am not giving up this animal because I made a commitment to them. But I currently do not own a cat. So, it wouldn't be so far fetched to expect me to just, not get another cat. Right, I mean, I can understand, ur allergic to cats and ur girlfriend brings home a cat it's like ugh, WTF? But I am a cat person. It's just who I am. By some fluke I meet this guy 2.5 months after loosing my cat. But that does not mean I will not own another cat again. I'm just going through a temporary catless moment while I come to terms with loosing my best friend. I am still a cat person and will always be. To be with me and expect me not to have cats is to expect me not to be myself. Point Final.

He'll just have to accept that you are a cat person and while you may not always have one or more cats at any given time, there is going to be a time where you will have a cat.

Even if it ends up not being that guy you're seeing now, any future guys will just have to be okay with it. You're not gonna change your animal preference for a relationship that has a chance of not working out. Now if you were having a kid I'd probably be on the other side of this but you're not so irrelevant.  

[Gabrielle_AnimalLuver]

Savage Destiny

My friend's boyfriend is severely allergic to cats. She has two cats and they live in a trailer.

She bathes the cats twice a month, brushes weekly, and sweeps or vacuums twice a day. The boyfriend's allergies are just fine, and he lives in the trailer with them.

Well that's good. I'm sure some techs at the clinic are allergic and they manage okay  

[Latrans]

My boyfriend is allergic to cats, but it's not a severe allergy. He's also less allergic to some cats than others; long coated cats irritate him less than short coated ones, and it seems like darker colored cats are more problematic than lighter colored ones.