So, Boyfriend Wants Me To Do Things, But...

[Little-Lenah]

soren_alenko

Little-Lenah

Question.

Why are you doing this to yourself if it obviously only brings you grief?

Because hopefully I won't find it so gross/repelling/etc. after enough times (had similar feeling about just regular doing it and such, and I got over that), and I want to make him happy.

But he isn't respecting your boundaries.

I know you want to make him happy, but you shouldn't do it at the cost of your own happiness. If he truly respects you, he would be happy that you've done so much for him, and not push you to further try blowjobs when you find it so repulsive.

If his exes gave him lots of blowjobs, it doesn't matter. If he's played the "My exes did it, and so should you" card, that is lowly, and rude, and disrespectful to say the least. You are your own person. You have your preferences towards sex. And you need to state that to him clearly.

There is nothing wrong with hating blowjobs. You tried. You tried again. You tried several different ways of doing it. And you still did not like it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

From experience I know that if you do something you don't like, and you continue to do it even though you don't like it, you'll continually have a negative experience. If you keep forcing yourself to give him blowjobs, you won't miraculously have a positive experience out of all the negative ones.

If you're dead set on trying to like blowjobs, then step away from giving them for a while. You need to come to terms with yourself and your dislike before attempting it again. And when you finally do feel ready to give him a b*****b, then it has to be on your terms. He can't just do whatever he thinks feels good, or else you're back to square one. You need to be the one in control. I cannot stress this enough.

And if he continues to disrespect you, you need to take action before disrespect becomes abuse.  

[Silence Aoi]

I find that my preferences change with different sexual partners. With some I enjoy giving blowjobs, with others I don't. Simply put, if it's something you don't enjoy then don't do it. The worst relationships I've had were with people who tried to push me into doing things I wasn't ready for. Sex should feel good. If it doesn't then something is wrong. emotion_donotwant  

[aztecboi]

well i have o say sometimes it takes time,but you cant force nothing if it doesnt feel right.an i heard flavor condom an also if its the pubic hairs then u know what you should do.but if its the who meat in ur mouth the gross u out u can always eat pineapple before doing anything. helps u not imagine the meat stick an also wont b so bad for u  

[Living Equinox]

It seems as though his only with you is for his sexual pleasures. Throughout the entire thread i ONLY read about how he want you to give him pleasure. I understand you love him but does he really love you, or is he using you. When he says things like" you don't have to if you want to" or " all my exes did it for me why don't you" is all a part of MANIPULATION. He is tricking you to do his bidding and in my terms in sexuality its psychological rape. Like every one else said don't do it at all because you are uncomfortable. Relationships require 2 people and of he fails to meet your barriers than there's no point In the"relationship". Don't take this the wrong way but i don't think the relationship is working out for you  

[Megumi Bara Ryoko]

I hate giving them too but I do it anyway because it makes the guy happy and I try not to think about the smell and taste.  

[Quicksilfver]

I think we can do anything if we truly want to do it.

I don't speak of much experience, since I've only given a b*****b once, but I had no problems with it. I really thought it would be nasty and "OMG what am i putting in my mouth!?", but for me, knowing that I could bring my boyfriend pleasure made it all worth it. (And I didn't even register a taste, or mabye he's got very good hygien? ;3)

My point is that if you want to do something for another person, you're most likely to be able to do it. I HATE olives. My bf loves them. He's asked me to try them several times, and so I've did. (Oh my, they are nasty little fellas!) I still don't like them particulary, but I can eat them. Because he kindly asks me to.

So I'm asking you - do you, REALLY, want to give your boyfriend a b*****b? If you let your heart speak the purest truth, could you tell yourself that this is what you want? Because to me, it sounds like you are being forced, rather than doing it willingly.

Mabye you think you want to please your beloved, but deep down inside you just can't give blowjobs, and therefore they're disguisting. Therefore you fail at enjoying it.

I might be wrong, but search your feelings! And if you do find that blowjobs isn't something for you, than your guy must accept that, or you have to leave him.  

[Sebastian Sean]

soren_alenko

Ok, so the boyfriend likes receiving blowjobs. I hate giving them. Or rather, they make me very uncomfortable, it taste awful, it freaks me out, it smells bad, the possibility of him going in my mouth disgusts me, and I personally find it demeaning (I'm not saying that it is, that's just how they make me feel). But he really likes them, and I feel horrible for not being able to bring myself to do it for him. To make me feel worse, I know that his first sexual experience was a BJ, and that his previous girlfriends gave them to him frequently.

I've tried easing myself into them, but it hasn't worked. I want to make him happy, but as I've said before, this is something that deeply bothers me. He says that if I don't want to I don't have to (although he really wouldn't mind if I did want to as he has pointed out), but I can't help but feel that this really bothers him.

How can I get over this?

DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.
now, if you just hate them, then go on hating them i guess.
if he never gives you oral-genital sex, then you don't have to ever give it to him. ever. unless he gives it to you, there is no reason to give it to him since you don't like giving it.
now, if he drinks fruit juice even just a few hours before it may help the taste. also, you can (and prob should) use an oral condom.
also, giving/recieving head is supposed to be enjoyed by all parties. if you don't think you can ever enjoy giving head, then just DON'T DO IT. youre his lover so its not like hes paying you.  

[The Dyke Grenadier]

A good b*****b starts with a great handjob: start with your hands first, then proceed to use your mouth to finish him off. As for the taste, have him shower or something, and instead of a flavored condom, try flavored lube.
Like everyone else has been saying, if you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it.  

[Wilder Wein MCMXCII]

You should never do something you don't feel comfortable with. You can of course try a few things and see if those make it any easier for you to give a b*****b, such as having him cleaning himself right before you do it, to make sure that everything is as clean as can be, or using flavoured lube or a flavoured condom. You can ask him to warn you if he's going to ejaculate if you're not comfortable with the possibility of getting sperm in your mouth.
However, if you still don't like it or just don't feel comfortable doing it then don't do it. Sex should be something you both enjoy.