|
|
| Who was at fault? |
| Me |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Him |
|
100% |
[ 14 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 14 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:17 pm
I hate my ex/ Was I in the wrong? xxxxAbout two weeks into the school year I was asked out by a guy whom had been my friend since the beginning of the year ( 2011 ) He was generally a nice guy though a year older than I he was really sweet and amazingly funny he knew everything from video games to the memes on the internet. A flaw I really could care less about was he was kind of obsessed my MLP. For that It really didn't matter because well it was something that you could just go with. Other than that he was perfect other than he was complaining about his weight because he was a tad chubby. Though I liked him how he was I supported him through anything he wanted. Now that's were the problems begin. You see, Though loud and obnoxious during a relationship I tend to become shy , quiet , and timid, In short I'm naturally submissive. Now my ex took advantage of this , for the first two weeks everything was fine. We watched scary movies , laughed , took walks , took care of his brothers who in return wanted to kiss me as well ( they were 5 and 8 ) and all was fine. But then when he kissed me it wasn't normal. I couldn't describe it but if I even just looked at him he would immediately start to kiss me , I could barely breathe because he forced me to be so close and since he was so strong I couldn't get out of his grip. . . Eventually he started to get worse , he got jealous of every guy I hung out with , mad when I made something for someone else , and started to get more physical. He began groping my chest and french kissing me. I couldn't stop him and eventually I stood up to him and told him to stop french kissing me and touching my chest. But he simply shrugged and told me he liked it so why should he stop. I told him that I didn't. He again shrugged and said "who cares." and because I still loved him I let him continue.
xxxxAbout a month later I could tell he was ready to move on to other things since the majority of the time we hung out either in a dark room in his basement on a couch or in his room. I couldn't stand it much longer and broke up with him. I had a guy friend of mine who is now my current boyfriend help me threw it all because it hurt me every moment I was away from my ex because I still had feelings for him. But what he did is after I broke up with him he began to guilt me and started saying I was a "Mistake" and "It was all your fault" and lets not forget his most favorite line " Did you ever love me once while we were together?" I let him do what he wanted because I was weak and He looked and said he was happy when ever he got to do It to me. During that time my current friend told me that a guy shouldn't ever do that to a girl and that no man would treat a lady like that. He said that if it were him he wouldn't do any of that. . . But how could I know how should a guy treat a lady ? He was my first boyfriend and he only lasted half a year....
xxxxEven now my ex still terrorizes me and keeps saying that it was all my fault.... But I did what I did because I he was forcing everything onto me! But I cant help but think... Whos fault really was it?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:36 pm
That's called an abusive relationship, dear. He was controlling and wanted to move too quickly for you, from what I can see from reading this. I think he's at fault for taking advantage of your submissive nature in the relationship. And he was telling you that you were at fault because he didn't want to admit it to himself that he was the one at fault. Good for you for breaking up with him, girl! And I'm glad you're with someone now who was actually your friend before you got together. (Also, just between us, you stuck it out with that guy longer than I did with my first boyfriend. My relationship only lasted for a couple dates scattered over a month, and he and I are still friends.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:36 pm
This just sounds all wrong to me, first I can't even understand why anyone would do what he has done, or is doing. To me he sounds like an impulsive obsessed guy who would do anything to get what he wants. One thing I do understand is you never truly know someone until they... take of the mask they were in public. It is truly horrible to hear or read stories like this. No one should ever be forced to do something they don't want to do. I congratulate you, for standing up for yourself, and doing the right thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:49 am
It IS his fault. He was horrible to you and you broke it off. I do not know what would have happened if you were not submissive. Maybe if you were never submissive, he wouldn't have taken advantage or maybe you two wouldn't have gotten together; however, I do know that you were in the right to stand up for yourself and breaking up with him. Someone like him ticks me off.
As you said, he said "who cares?" after you told him you did not like what he did, which means he didn't really care about you, and what he did and still does after the break up just helps to prove I am correct.
You telling us that he said that he liked it and asked why he should stop also proves me right, because if he really did care, he would have stopped, not keep going at it.
I think he wanted to be in a relationship with you because he was in it for the gloating... and for the sex... and other stuff.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:02 pm
@ Boris , That what I was told by my boyfriend that he was in it because he really just wanted to get into my pants. And to be all honest Im a fairly normal looking person, im not beautiful but im not ugly im really just normal.However it seems no matter where I go men tend to make bets or at least try to get into my pants and Its just really infuriating mainly because I have to stay on guard at all times. And the worst thing about my whole situation with him was that he was in my friend group and I thought i knew him pretty well. After the breakup he had told pretty much everyone we both knew lies about what I was doing and that I had CHEATED on him in reality I wasn't aloud to even talk to a guy without him getting mad or scolding me. The irony of it all is when He did begin to scold me he would tell me that all the guys around me ever wanted to do were to use me and based off you your results that you had given me is that thats exactly what he wanted to do.
@ Zaxtaj , It was wrong and he Is impulsive and obsessed and to get anything he wants? Maybe however I really feel like I still dont know him enough. I was afraid he was going to hurt me if I got back together with him and he believes unless he knows them and he has talked to them outside of school that they aren't to be trusted. And that counted with pretty much everyone in my group other than myself. And in one of the situations I made a duct tape bracelets for my friends and I let them pick the colors ( I'm very skilled with my hands and I can make pretty much everything out of anything well so far this is to be true ) and I had made bracelets for the lot of them and when a friend of mine had the same colors he had he complained and accused me of being a cheater all of that one little detail of the same color bracelets.
@Skb , I though abusive relationships only counted if they were considered physically harmful. Not emotionally, he never really hit me or left bruises though he had touched me it was nothing that would have left a mark other than on my self esteem and mental recollection. But what I can tell from what you all have been telling me that I wasn't wrong and It was a good thing to break up with him. However I still have a microscopic desire to be with him however it decreases quite a bit as the days continue but still. When I see him I'm the one who feels guilty and I want to cry. Or just walk up to him as he is ignoring me thoroughly and yell in his face "I'M STILL HERE AND I'M STILL ALIVE!" Its just the sight of him makes me want to scream " Its not my fault! What do you want from me!" I don't know maybe its just a rebellious side of me but really its just the fact that it ended that terribly for me that I just want it to be settled peacefully so I can finally be at ease and can erase him out of my mind completely.
I have a song stuck in my head that kind of somehow fits with this
"I don't know whats worth fighting for or why I have to scream , I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean. I don't know how I got this way and I know i'll never be alright."
Which is from linkin park , breaking the habit. And I feel like I have a habit of arguing with myself on if I really did the right thing. I just don't understand why is that I'm being blamed. And Im pretty sure he is care free because when something goes bad he shrugs it off and acts like its nothing to continue on his life. His Drugged life no less. Which is what really hit home for me the fact his drugged tongue was squirming inside my mouth make me want to vomit and at one point I did. I had a nightmare last night where he had come into school slammed me against a wall did what he had done to me in the past all at once then grab my neck and lift me of the ground to the point where my feet don't touch the ground and I cant breathe and when I woke up in the middle of the night I felt like screaming but I couldn't breathe and I felt like his hand was still on my neck and I had to somehow convince myself quickly it wasn't a dream. My worst fear used to be dieing in front of the people I loved. Now its him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:57 pm
By the information you have presented here I believe you have a strong will and can do anything you set out to accomplish. I think there is only a few things I can present that might make this situation better. Look towards the future. Looking at the past, what has been, what could have been, isn't always good. I think that you have the strength to raise your head and keep on moving through any hardships that come your way, even if you only have one friend standing by your side that is all you need. Whatever you think about increases the chance of it happening. So instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, or what horrible things could happen. Think of the opposite. Sometimes anyone can find a little happiness in being an optimist.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
