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 Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:54 pm
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama I can bet.
Which that is really unfortunate, by the way.
Perhaps it does, but could that not also be a case of the version which is heard first is usually the version most people think sound better?
.....the reason I was asking, besides the terribly obvious part of it having happened recently, is because in my mind, being brought along to see a relative's new and not moved into house for a house tour of ALL the rooms....means I'm basically accepted as part of the family....or that someone very strongly wants me to be part of the family....which I have basically been told that before...though more in the 'I can see myself marrying you and I like that' way than in a 100% non-verbal gesture-y show of 'you is family/I wants you be in family'. And I have a very hard time allowing myself to make such a guess without...well, without hearing it from the person...because I don't want to incorrectly assume anything. I presume that's what was being done....but I'm not sure...and I plan to try and make myself just not worry about it unless I really need to. (I'm trying to not be all 'happy-squee-stuffs' about anything remotely like that without more concrete implications/proof-stuffs. I'll be 'happy-squee-stuffs' about other things....just not that)
it is indeed. it doesn't help make someone enjoy moving, and tends to do the opposite, moving so often. though that's what happens when you don't try to find a job to help pay for an actual place instead of having to find people to stay with and pay to do so. mother should be getting financial aid starting in september due to going to college, so if we can find a place to stay and manage to get this next month's rent we'll be able to keep staying there. hopefully it's somewhere closer to where we lived before, because i could walk to all my friends' houses from there without it being a 5-6 mile walk, and there's more places to try to get a job at in the general area
that's pretty much always a possibility, but in this case it isn't a reason i'm using, due to having not heard that combination of words in any order in the past
i'd think it's a fairly safe thing to be all 'happy squee-stuffs' about, because that's pretty much what it seems like to me. i don't have any experience with such situations myself, but i'd think that that's the kind of thing that it'd mean. and i know very well what you mean with the 'accepted as part of family' thing/example, and hope very much that this time it ends up being a fact instead of something that ends up dissipating over time. or just an assumed thing. if it were just that then it'd suck quite a bit, imo |
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:51 pm
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Nikakaeo Amu Tsukiyomi-sama I can bet.
Which that is really unfortunate, by the way.
Perhaps it does, but could that not also be a case of the version which is heard first is usually the version most people think sound better?
.....the reason I was asking, besides the terribly obvious part of it having happened recently, is because in my mind, being brought along to see a relative's new and not moved into house for a house tour of ALL the rooms....means I'm basically accepted as part of the family....or that someone very strongly wants me to be part of the family....which I have basically been told that before...though more in the 'I can see myself marrying you and I like that' way than in a 100% non-verbal gesture-y show of 'you is family/I wants you be in family'. And I have a very hard time allowing myself to make such a guess without...well, without hearing it from the person...because I don't want to incorrectly assume anything. I presume that's what was being done....but I'm not sure...and I plan to try and make myself just not worry about it unless I really need to. (I'm trying to not be all 'happy-squee-stuffs' about anything remotely like that without more concrete implications/proof-stuffs. I'll be 'happy-squee-stuffs' about other things....just not that)
it is indeed. it doesn't help make someone enjoy moving, and tends to do the opposite, moving so often. though that's what happens when you don't try to find a job to help pay for an actual place instead of having to find people to stay with and pay to do so. mother should be getting financial aid starting in september due to going to college, so if we can find a place to stay and manage to get this next month's rent we'll be able to keep staying there. hopefully it's somewhere closer to where we lived before, because i could walk to all my friends' houses from there without it being a 5-6 mile walk, and there's more places to try to get a job at in the general area that's pretty much always a possibility, but in this case it isn't a reason i'm using, due to having not heard that combination of words in any order in the past
i'd think it's a fairly safe thing to be all 'happy squee-stuffs' about, because that's pretty much what it seems like to me. i don't have any experience with such situations myself, but i'd think that that's the kind of thing that it'd mean. and i know very well what you mean with the 'accepted as part of family' thing/example, and hope very much that this time it ends up being a fact instead of something that ends up dissipating over time. or just an assumed thing. if it were just that then it'd suck quite a bit, imo
I hope so too, because then that would make your life easier.
Indeed.
....this is the first time I've felt like I was accepted by the family. The only other time that came close...the family liked me purely because I was the first girlfriend of their son's they'd ever actually met. And the thing I was referencing, the 'I can see myself' thing...was said by the same person I just visited a relative's house with. I don't believe this will dissipate over time...not with the things I've freaked out about at him....and he still wants to be with me and wants me with him. Plus I apparently make him happy by pretty much just existing and being myself...which according to him, he's not the easiest person to make happy. And what do you mean 'just an assumed thing'? I don't quite understand.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 11:29 am
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:40 pm
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama I hope so too, because then that would make your life easier.
Indeed.
....this is the first time I've felt like I was accepted by the family. The only other time that came close...the family liked me purely because I was the first girlfriend of their son's they'd ever actually met. And the thing I was referencing, the 'I can see myself' thing...was said by the same person I just visited a relative's house with. I don't believe this will dissipate over time...not with the things I've freaked out about at him....and he still wants to be with me and wants me with him. Plus I apparently make him happy by pretty much just existing and being myself...which according to him, he's not the easiest person to make happy. And what do you mean 'just an assumed thing'? I don't quite understand.
it would do absolutely that. hopefully the place we've heard about that's renting out... a basement i think??? for $400 a month lets us stay there and that it ends up being a viable long-term arrangement. sadly it wouldn't be any closer to my friends, but if i can save up enough to get a bike then that wouldn't be a problem. nor would the distance thing be a problem for jobs, as much
huh. i'd thought it was a different time you were referencing, but if he himself said that, then that's absolutely a huge plus. congrats on that! just don't freak out too much if/when he proposes, either in a living-together arrangement way or a family-connecting one. and i'd thought you were making little assumptions in hopeful manners, so 'an assumed thing' fit what i meant. though it may seem that they weren't assumptions, and i was the one making them, whoops |
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:58 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:21 pm
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Nikakaeo Amu Tsukiyomi-sama I hope so too, because then that would make your life easier.
Indeed.
....this is the first time I've felt like I was accepted by the family. The only other time that came close...the family liked me purely because I was the first girlfriend of their son's they'd ever actually met. And the thing I was referencing, the 'I can see myself' thing...was said by the same person I just visited a relative's house with. I don't believe this will dissipate over time...not with the things I've freaked out about at him....and he still wants to be with me and wants me with him. Plus I apparently make him happy by pretty much just existing and being myself...which according to him, he's not the easiest person to make happy. And what do you mean 'just an assumed thing'? I don't quite understand.
it would do absolutely that. hopefully the place we've heard about that's renting out... a basement i think??? for $400 a month lets us stay there and that it ends up being a viable long-term arrangement. sadly it wouldn't be any closer to my friends, but if i can save up enough to get a bike then that wouldn't be a problem. nor would the distance thing be a problem for jobs, as much huh. i'd thought it was a different time you were referencing, but if he himself said that, then that's absolutely a huge plus. congrats on that! just don't freak out too much if/when he proposes, either in a living-together arrangement way or a family-connecting one. and i'd thought you were making little assumptions in hopeful manners, so 'an assumed thing' fit what i meant. though it may seem that they weren't assumptions, and i was the one making them, whoops
Garage sales are pretty good places to get bikes.
At least, until you can afford to get one in a better condition.
Nope. Oh, and he's already asked me to move in with him - twice. But the first one was contingent on him getting a job in Seattle (didn't work out for a crazy series of events) and the other requires a basement getting finished. I didn't particularly freak out or anything....just...a very tsundere 'what do you think?!' or a more normal answer, combined with blushing. Oh, see, no. I'm noticing things that when combined together point in a rather definitive direction...but....I do not want to let myself go 'oh, this obviously means what I think it does' both because I feel like that would be unfair....and on the off chance I am somehow wrong. I am fairly certain I am not wrong, but I don't want to go 'I'm totally right'...because I know without a doubt my behavior would change...and in a way I despise. I've become a firm believer in taking things as they come and not trying to force something. Even if I secretly-but-not-really want the thing to happen. I'll stick to small stuff, like trying to spend time with people or hoping I'm making their day better with whatever awkward attempts I make.
No worries about the assuming thing. I am being fairly vague after all. Actually, you'd probably like the guy. He works at a gaming shop and does quite a few other things....plays tabletop games....watches anime, star wars, other awesome stuff. (He got me to watch Gurren Lagann...the only anime I have (since) ever re-watched...100% on purpose)
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:47 am
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Garage sales are pretty good places to get bikes.
At least, until you can afford to get one in a better condition.
Nope. Oh, and he's already asked me to move in with him - twice. But the first one was contingent on him getting a job in Seattle (didn't work out for a crazy series of events) and the other requires a basement getting finished. I didn't particularly freak out or anything....just...a very tsundere 'what do you think?!' or a more normal answer, combined with blushing. Oh, see, no. I'm noticing things that when combined together point in a rather definitive direction...but....I do not want to let myself go 'oh, this obviously means what I think it does' both because I feel like that would be unfair....and on the off chance I am somehow wrong. I am fairly certain I am not wrong, but I don't want to go 'I'm totally right'...because I know without a doubt my behavior would change...and in a way I despise. I've become a firm believer in taking things as they come and not trying to force something. Even if I secretly-but-not-really want the thing to happen. I'll stick to small stuff, like trying to spend time with people or hoping I'm making their day better with whatever awkward attempts I make.
No worries about the assuming thing. I am being fairly vague after all. Actually, you'd probably like the guy. He works at a gaming shop and does quite a few other things....plays tabletop games....watches anime, star wars, other awesome stuff. (He got me to watch Gurren Lagann...the only anime I have (since) ever re-watched...100% on purpose)
the problem with that is finding garage sales that have bikes. then i'm gonna need a helmet too, which'll be a lot easier to find. you'd be amazed at how many there are at thrift stores and the like for practically nothing
that'd be interesting if the seattle thing had ended up working out, because then there'd be one more internet friend i'm capable of realistically visiting. but good luck on having a time where living with him happens instead of having contingencies fall through! unless your answers meant 'no' or 'not at this time' or something. in which case my apologies for misreading what you meant
hypotheses are perfectly fine to make, especially when they're highly educated guesses and not a decision that something is fact when it's not yet set in stone. i wish i had more to say in response to that essay-length paragraph but i can't really think of anything else, so i'll let this trail off into oblivion
curse intentional vagueness to the deepest reaches of space and back! not really though. intentional vagueness can be fun to see how people react to it, and i wouldn't curse something realistically when i do it, unless i didn't like the fact that i did it. that'd be hypocritical
define 'gaming shop'. like, gamestop-type store, or like a place that sells other non-video gaming things? but from that short description and the fact that i highly doubt you'd say so many good things about someone who wasn't a good person, i'm going to assume that we'd probably get along fairly well, as well. unless he challenges me to a pokemon match and uses a team of only legendaries and throws a fit if/when he loses. that'd be a game changer |
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 11:58 am
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Sellesion Ugh. College happened guys. D; I finished my super stressful spring quarter, and silly me decided to do summer classes still too. Oh no.
But....you're mostly okay, yes?
Yeah. *nod nod* I'm a few days ahead of the due dates for my classes right now- since it's online I'm able to do things early to a certain extent.
So that's a plus. But I've been away from here long enough that they already went off and did shi-z that I have no idea about. It's like re-adjusting after a 6month hiatus again almost. D;
So whats the scoop on gaia stuff? I notice you can sell stuff for GC in the MP now? Think that'll lead to people using GC in more private matters too like trading art?
Like
*In exchange for art I'll buy that super duper cheap item off of you for 50000 GC*
Effectedly paying the artist $50 in gaia cash or something. |
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 2:33 pm
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Nikakaeo Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Garage sales are pretty good places to get bikes.
At least, until you can afford to get one in a better condition.
Nope. Oh, and he's already asked me to move in with him - twice. But the first one was contingent on him getting a job in Seattle (didn't work out for a crazy series of events) and the other requires a basement getting finished. I didn't particularly freak out or anything....just...a very tsundere 'what do you think?!' or a more normal answer, combined with blushing. Oh, see, no. I'm noticing things that when combined together point in a rather definitive direction...but....I do not want to let myself go 'oh, this obviously means what I think it does' both because I feel like that would be unfair....and on the off chance I am somehow wrong. I am fairly certain I am not wrong, but I don't want to go 'I'm totally right'...because I know without a doubt my behavior would change...and in a way I despise. I've become a firm believer in taking things as they come and not trying to force something. Even if I secretly-but-not-really want the thing to happen. I'll stick to small stuff, like trying to spend time with people or hoping I'm making their day better with whatever awkward attempts I make.
No worries about the assuming thing. I am being fairly vague after all. Actually, you'd probably like the guy. He works at a gaming shop and does quite a few other things....plays tabletop games....watches anime, star wars, other awesome stuff. (He got me to watch Gurren Lagann...the only anime I have (since) ever re-watched...100% on purpose)
the problem with that is finding garage sales that have bikes. then i'm gonna need a helmet too, which'll be a lot easier to find. you'd be amazed at how many there are at thrift stores and the like for practically nothing that'd be interesting if the seattle thing had ended up working out, because then there'd be one more internet friend i'm capable of realistically visiting. but good luck on having a time where living with him happens instead of having contingencies fall through! unless your answers meant 'no' or 'not at this time' or something. in which case my apologies for misreading what you meant
hypotheses are perfectly fine to make, especially when they're highly educated guesses and not a decision that something is fact when it's not yet set in stone. i wish i had more to say in response to that essay-length paragraph but i can't really think of anything else, so i'll let this trail off into oblivion
curse intentional vagueness to the deepest reaches of space and back! not really though. intentional vagueness can be fun to see how people react to it, and i wouldn't curse something realistically when i do it, unless i didn't like the fact that i did it. that'd be hypocritical
define 'gaming shop'. like, gamestop-type store, or like a place that sells other non-video gaming things? but from that short description and the fact that i highly doubt you'd say so many good things about someone who wasn't a good person, i'm going to assume that we'd probably get along fairly well, as well. unless he challenges me to a pokemon match and uses a team of only legendaries and throws a fit if/when he loses. that'd be a game changer
Really?
I guess I don't really remember what garage sales usually have all that well...
Though it doesn't surprise me at all that there would be a bunch of helmets at thrift stores.
That just makes sense to me, since people's heads grow over time.
Nika. Based on what you know so far, do you really think I would say no? Besides being plain smitten with the guy, I want out of my house because living here, while cost-effective, is not good for me. I tend to be lazy because I don't own the place, I'm usually hiding in my room to avoid my father, I don't feel like I'm improving as much as I want to as a person....but I also can't leave because I don't have the money since I have to pay off college loans. And I don't live anywhere where using the bike I have is a plausible thing. So I have to rely on mostly my parents, and on very rare occasions friends, to get places because I also live in an area where there really isn't public transport. If I wasn't as smitten with him as I am, I would never agree to move in with him, much less move states....but I am...so yeah..... (I've been wanting out of my house for quite some time, but I knew I didn't and still don't really have the means to do that)
Yeah....but I'm very worried that I'd become...like a stereotypical female.....the whole 'can think of nothing but marriage and tries to force it to happen even if that's not the smartest idea at the time, etcetc' kind. Hence my ultra-hesitant 'I does no wanna assume' thing. And in all honestly there's some small stupid part of me that is going 'claim him before he leaves!' which is not only dumb, but also completely illogical based on...a lot of proof that this time people are not going to just poof on me...like has happened many times before...
I try to be vague usually so I do not give away things I feel are not mine to say. I don't always succeed though.
He works at a shop that sells table-top games, MTG, pokemon, D&D, and other things like that. And he'd never 'throw a fit' if he lost a game. Might get angry at someone else being all 'that's unfair, you won illegally', but if he loses legitimately and not because the other person was pulling shenanigans, he loses graciously. And he's definitely a good person, if a bit busy. He's put up with me freaking out at him over highly illogical things (that while I was freaking out I admitted I knew were illogical but that I also kind of couldn't stop myself from freaking out about x thing), he's the first guy to ever really offer to protect me, but he also let me handle things on my own when I asked, (Did I explain my crazy ex who harassed me for 8 months? if not, I will so you can better understand) he doesn't ask me to do things I don't want to and won't force me to do something I don't want to either; unless it's like a thing where I'm not saying something because it's embarrassing but I do secretly want to tell him and he pretty much knows what it is but he makes me say it anyway. But most importantly...I feel safe and cared about when I'm around him. I don't have to try to be anything I'm not...though I do want to be the best I can because of him.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 2:39 pm
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Sellesion Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Sellesion Ugh. College happened guys. D; I finished my super stressful spring quarter, and silly me decided to do summer classes still too. Oh no.
But....you're mostly okay, yes?
Yeah. *nod nod* I'm a few days ahead of the due dates for my classes right now- since it's online I'm able to do things early to a certain extent. So that's a plus. But I've been away from here long enough that they already went off and did shi-z that I have no idea about. It's like re-adjusting after a 6month hiatus again almost. D; So whats the scoop on gaia stuff? I notice you can sell stuff for GC in the MP now? Think that'll lead to people using GC in more private matters too like trading art? Like *In exchange for art I'll buy that super duper cheap item off of you for 50000 GC* Effectedly paying the artist $50 in gaia cash or something.
That's good.
Though I never did online classes...since I knew I'd completely forget about a class unless I had to literally go to class.
And yes they did...but I've taken to ignoring most anything going on outside of the guild...
I just have no real use for the rest of gaia anymore.
Yes, you can pay real money for marketplace items....which I think is a stupid and dangerous idea.
I do not see it ending well at all.
Not even the using it as a way to literally pay for commissions on here...
Why do that here when you could do something similar...but through like patreon or some other method where you can do whatever you want with the money.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:56 pm
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Really?
I guess I don't really remember what garage sales usually have all that well...
Though it doesn't surprise me at all that there would be a bunch of helmets at thrift stores.
That just makes sense to me, since people's heads grow over time.
Nika. Based on what you know so far, do you really think I would say no? Besides being plain smitten with the guy, I want out of my house because living here, while cost-effective, is not good for me. I tend to be lazy because I don't own the place, I'm usually hiding in my room to avoid my father, I don't feel like I'm improving as much as I want to as a person....but I also can't leave because I don't have the money since I have to pay off college loans. And I don't live anywhere where using the bike I have is a plausible thing. So I have to rely on mostly my parents, and on very rare occasions friends, to get places because I also live in an area where there really isn't public transport. If I wasn't as smitten with him as I am, I would never agree to move in with him, much less move states....but I am...so yeah..... (I've been wanting out of my house for quite some time, but I knew I didn't and still don't really have the means to do that)
Yeah....but I'm very worried that I'd become...like a stereotypical female.....the whole 'can think of nothing but marriage and tries to force it to happen even if that's not the smartest idea at the time, etcetc' kind. Hence my ultra-hesitant 'I does no wanna assume' thing. And in all honestly there's some small stupid part of me that is going 'claim him before he leaves!' which is not only dumb, but also completely illogical based on...a lot of proof that this time people are not going to just poof on me...like has happened many times before...
I try to be vague usually so I do not give away things I feel are not mine to say. I don't always succeed though.
He works at a shop that sells table-top games, MTG, pokemon, D&D, and other things like that. And he'd never 'throw a fit' if he lost a game. Might get angry at someone else being all 'that's unfair, you won illegally', but if he loses legitimately and not because the other person was pulling shenanigans, he loses graciously. And he's definitely a good person, if a bit busy. He's put up with me freaking out at him over highly illogical things (that while I was freaking out I admitted I knew were illogical but that I also kind of couldn't stop myself from freaking out about x thing), he's the first guy to ever really offer to protect me, but he also let me handle things on my own when I asked, (Did I explain my crazy ex who harassed me for 8 months? if not, I will so you can better understand) he doesn't ask me to do things I don't want to and won't force me to do something I don't want to either; unless it's like a thing where I'm not saying something because it's embarrassing but I do secretly want to tell him and he pretty much knows what it is but he makes me say it anyway. But most importantly...I feel safe and cared about when I'm around him. I don't have to try to be anything I'm not...though I do want to be the best I can because of him.
usually garage sales have like. fake antiques and not-collectibles, basically junk that people don't want anymore. sometimes they have bikes their kids outgrew, but it's not often you run across an adult-sized bike at a garage sale, from my experience. and you have a point with the growing heads thing
well, you never know. i mean, you can know a person really well and still get an answer you never expected from them. i'd assumed you would've agreed, but it's completely possible you could've said no. unlikely due to exactly what you said, but possible. and since the main reason seems to be a lack of the means to do so, hopefully the means appear for you so you can do the move. just trust me on this; let the eventual move take place over a number of days. take the big items first, and leave your mattress until the end. stay at your current house until everything is moved, then take your mattress in the final trip. it is Not Fun trying to rush a move, and even less fun trying to sleep on the floor because you already moved your mattress. the reason to stay until the move is finished is because that way you can pack at your own pace through the night instead of having to pack immediately before putting it in the vehicle moving things. mattress blanket(s) and pillow(s) are the very last things you want to move
tbh i have no idea what you mean by most of that, except the possible 'poof' part, being people disappearing without a trace and without warning. it's always a possibility, though most of the time a very very very VERY unlikely possibility
i've only been in that kind of a game store once, due to there being a pokemon tournament there. they're interesting, to say the least. and it's good to know that he wouldn't throw a fit unless there was shenanigans involved that shouldn't have been; that example was from personal experience. it was extremely amusing to witness, but made a very bad impression of the guy. and your guy sounds absolutely like a good person, like you just said. though you have not told me about said crazy ex, and don't need to if you don't want to. knowing that there was one that he helped you with is enough. now i want to meet him if only to thank him for being so good to you. among other reasons. but that being one of them |
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:58 pm
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Sellesion Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Sellesion Ugh. College happened guys. D; I finished my super stressful spring quarter, and silly me decided to do summer classes still too. Oh no.
But....you're mostly okay, yes?
Yeah. *nod nod* I'm a few days ahead of the due dates for my classes right now- since it's online I'm able to do things early to a certain extent. So that's a plus. But I've been away from here long enough that they already went off and did shi-z that I have no idea about. It's like re-adjusting after a 6month hiatus again almost. D; So whats the scoop on gaia stuff? I notice you can sell stuff for GC in the MP now? Think that'll lead to people using GC in more private matters too like trading art? Like *In exchange for art I'll buy that super duper cheap item off of you for 50000 GC* Effectedly paying the artist $50 in gaia cash or something.
i remember in the Announcement they made where you could first sell stuff for GC that it converts GC into gold upon purchase. like, say GC-Gold rate is currently 50,000,000 gold per GC. you buy something for 4 GC and the person gets 200,000,000 gold. which is really dumb imo |
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 7:38 pm
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Nikakaeo Amu Tsukiyomi-sama Really?
I guess I don't really remember what garage sales usually have all that well...
Though it doesn't surprise me at all that there would be a bunch of helmets at thrift stores.
That just makes sense to me, since people's heads grow over time.
Nika. Based on what you know so far, do you really think I would say no? Besides being plain smitten with the guy, I want out of my house because living here, while cost-effective, is not good for me. I tend to be lazy because I don't own the place, I'm usually hiding in my room to avoid my father, I don't feel like I'm improving as much as I want to as a person....but I also can't leave because I don't have the money since I have to pay off college loans. And I don't live anywhere where using the bike I have is a plausible thing. So I have to rely on mostly my parents, and on very rare occasions friends, to get places because I also live in an area where there really isn't public transport. If I wasn't as smitten with him as I am, I would never agree to move in with him, much less move states....but I am...so yeah..... (I've been wanting out of my house for quite some time, but I knew I didn't and still don't really have the means to do that)
Yeah....but I'm very worried that I'd become...like a stereotypical female.....the whole 'can think of nothing but marriage and tries to force it to happen even if that's not the smartest idea at the time, etcetc' kind. Hence my ultra-hesitant 'I does no wanna assume' thing. And in all honestly there's some small stupid part of me that is going 'claim him before he leaves!' which is not only dumb, but also completely illogical based on...a lot of proof that this time people are not going to just poof on me...like has happened many times before...
I try to be vague usually so I do not give away things I feel are not mine to say. I don't always succeed though.
He works at a shop that sells table-top games, MTG, pokemon, D&D, and other things like that. And he'd never 'throw a fit' if he lost a game. Might get angry at someone else being all 'that's unfair, you won illegally', but if he loses legitimately and not because the other person was pulling shenanigans, he loses graciously. And he's definitely a good person, if a bit busy. He's put up with me freaking out at him over highly illogical things (that while I was freaking out I admitted I knew were illogical but that I also kind of couldn't stop myself from freaking out about x thing), he's the first guy to ever really offer to protect me, but he also let me handle things on my own when I asked, (Did I explain my crazy ex who harassed me for 8 months? if not, I will so you can better understand) he doesn't ask me to do things I don't want to and won't force me to do something I don't want to either; unless it's like a thing where I'm not saying something because it's embarrassing but I do secretly want to tell him and he pretty much knows what it is but he makes me say it anyway. But most importantly...I feel safe and cared about when I'm around him. I don't have to try to be anything I'm not...though I do want to be the best I can because of him.
usually garage sales have like. fake antiques and not-collectibles, basically junk that people don't want anymore. sometimes they have bikes their kids outgrew, but it's not often you run across an adult-sized bike at a garage sale, from my experience. and you have a point with the growing heads thing well, you never know. i mean, you can know a person really well and still get an answer you never expected from them. i'd assumed you would've agreed, but it's completely possible you could've said no. unlikely due to exactly what you said, but possible. and since the main reason seems to be a lack of the means to do so, hopefully the means appear for you so you can do the move. just trust me on this; let the eventual move take place over a number of days. take the big items first, and leave your mattress until the end. stay at your current house until everything is moved, then take your mattress in the final trip. it is Not Fun trying to rush a move, and even less fun trying to sleep on the floor because you already moved your mattress. the reason to stay until the move is finished is because that way you can pack at your own pace through the night instead of having to pack immediately before putting it in the vehicle moving things. mattress blanket(s) and pillow(s) are the very last things you want to move
tbh i have no idea what you mean by most of that, except the possible 'poof' part, being people disappearing without a trace and without warning. it's always a possibility, though most of the time a very very very VERY unlikely possibility
i've only been in that kind of a game store once, due to there being a pokemon tournament there. they're interesting, to say the least. and it's good to know that he wouldn't throw a fit unless there was shenanigans involved that shouldn't have been; that example was from personal experience. it was extremely amusing to witness, but made a very bad impression of the guy. and your guy sounds absolutely like a good person, like you just said. though you have not told me about said crazy ex, and don't need to if you don't want to. knowing that there was one that he helped you with is enough. now i want to meet him if only to thank him for being so good to you. among other reasons. but that being one of them
I know the fake antiques and such...
Totally forgot about the 'not likely have adult bike' part.
Because I've been to huge community garage sales before...and those have damn near everything.
True.
My plan is to have as little to take as possible. If I end up moving in with le bf, no need to worry about a mattress, methinks. Plus, besides having randomly acquired things like an entire set of china (good china I might add), I really only have clothes, some books, my computer, some tcg stuff, maybe a crosstitch thing or two, and possibly my dog (and some tea stuff). I'm fairly sure my mother will not want me to take all of the crosstitch things and I have no idea about my dog, because people here are rather attached to him and my boyfriend is apparently somewhat allergic to dogs, but it's not a major allergy. So basically, my plan is to get rid of the trash and useless/unnecessary stuff so I only have what I really need....and that's not just an 'in case I move', but an in general 'to keep room cleaner' thing.
Basically, I'm worried I'd get sucked into 'must make him marry me so he won't leave me' land. A place I do not want to be in. Ever. And the worrying people will poof thing is based on people often 'checking out' on me. Be they friends or boyfriends, I've had quite a few people just....stop talking even though I tried talking and maintaining the friendship....or similar things...and I'm left there trying to figure out what is going on and why.
I've been to that kind of game shop more than I've ever been to anything like gamestop. He's a very logical person, much like myself. He's probably also just as self-depreciating as I am as well...though the only inkling I have about that comes from the comment 'stop that, only one of us can be self-depreciating'. I've never actually heard him say bad things about himself...though I can usually guess when he is thinking them based on other things. And....that...well....okay. I'll just accept you wanting to meet him and thank and stuff. It's simpler that way.
The ex: during 2013, I had a friend, pretty neat guy who I felt like I could say anything to and it would not cause a problem. This means I said a lot of things that later on I realized I shouldn't have; for example, I was completely not bothered by telling him what my nipples looked like after he asked for...particular reasons. Shoulda realized that was a red flag, but at the time (august 2013), I wasn't really worried because 'eh, whatever'. During this time (fall 2013), the future ex knew for a fact that I was interested in my now boyfriend, but he had a girlfriend and was likely busy so I didn't want to bother him, especially since I knew I wouldn't be able to keep from being very obvious I still liked him. Figured that wasn't fair to his then girlfriend and I also wasn't terribly (consciously) bothered by him having a girlfriend. Sometime in september/october, the future ex basically asked me out, but more in an 'if I asked you, would you say yes' manner. Apparently this idea had been given to him by a mutual friend and him asking was basically instigated by her. I said 'no, you're a friend'. Two days later, I had changed my mind because of 'well, maybe I am wrong and I do like him as more than a friend'. So we were 'together' from then to late january. Now, keep in mind that I'd had in the back of my head this knowledge that things were very likely going to end badly, but even with that knowledge, I could do little to prevent it...even though I tried really hard. Now, late november until the end of january, the future ex did not talk to me basically at all. I tried talking to him six times, getting little to no response in return. I got fed up with that and I also realized I had been initially correct, I only liked him as a friend. This realization may have been slightly helped along by the face that around about christmas/new years, my now boyfriend contacted me and was all 'we haven't talked in forever!' and the resulting conversations made me so much happier and I realized I still liked him. But I'm not a two-timing jerk, so all we did was talk and hang out....by ourselves....like twice. Which looking back, those could have technically been considered dates, but I was happily oblivious to that fact. Anyway, I broke up with the ex at the end of january and he did not talk to me or anything after, which I was fine with as I figured he was probably upset. Then round about march, he contacts me and had done a complete 180 to how he was before we went out together. Confused the hell out of me, but I figured he'd gotten over things and was mature enough and capable enough to just be friends. I was very wrong. I ended up learning about his family life, how he is depressive, bi-sexual, used as a 17-yr-old pawn in his parent's divorce...lots of things....and then the weird comments started happening. Apparently he had a couple dreams in which I was...erm...doing things. Or when I'd say something like how I was drinking chocolate milk, the image of him drinking chocolate milk /from my boobs/ appeared in his head. He then started trying to get me to give him a second chance, which I kept telling him no to. He called me a couple times, one of the times he badgered me so much I got backed into a corner and I said 'it would be fair and right' a few times, which he took to mean 'yes'. Which it obviously was not a yes if you weren't in 'super ******** hopeful and slightly delusional' land. I even told him I liked another guy and to give him a second chance when I like someone else would be completely unfair to him (which it would). I even unintentionally made him cry more than once, because he was that hopeful and whatever about it. Then I learned that he'd had dreams in which I was walking down an aisle towards him wearing a white dress... By this point, I was starting to get scared of him, because I kept telling him no, he kept not understanding, he kept badgering me and I even nearly gave in at one point...but because I forced my boyfriend to tell me if he was interested in me (he said 'yes, but I don't have the time to dedicate to a relationship right now', which I though was very honorable of him to say), I was able to say no. The ex had even been trying to tell me that my now boyfriend wasn't the right person for me and he wasn't a good person...but I mostly ignored it because I knew it was more a 'I want you with me' than him actually being concerned for me. I finally snapped at him near the end of april and got him to agree to leave me alone until august so we could both de-stress from the whole thing, as I knew if we didn't do this we would never be able to be friends. However. That tuesday he went to play some tabletop game at the game shop near his apartment....the game shop my boyfriend works at. I had learned in the midst of being badgered to pieces that the ex and my boyfriend had not just merely been in a class together, but knew each other rather well, as my boyfriend was the GM of whichever tabletop game the ex played once a week. The ex had flipped out at one point and stopped going because my boyfriend was there and, not that he said this, he was the guy taking me away from him so looking at my boyfriend was painful...but he got over it. So at one of these games my not-yet-at-the-time boyfriend ran, he mentioned that on wednesday he had a date. And the ex immediately assumed the other person involved was me...and he contacted me...drunk....to ask if it was me. Which it was, though I'd had no idea it was a date. (yes, I'm that dense and yes, my boyfriend did not use the word date when asking me; the date ended up not happening but I did not tell the ex that) So the previous agreement of leaving me alone until august evaporated instantly. I went back to having to deal with someone badgering me...and then I learned that the ex blew up at my boyfriend and vented...about me. This happened either a day or two before or a few days after we actually went on the date that never happened. I ended up the early part of may having to point blank ask 'so...does this mean I'm your girlfriend?'...because it was never actually said and while I was fairly certain...I wanted to be 100% sure. I had been telling the boyfriend about some of the goings on tied to the ex, but he wasn't super up in arms over it...partially because I was kinda downplaying it. But also partially because I had, yet again, gotten the ex to agree to leave me alone...so for about a month and a half, I didn't have to directly deal with the ex...but I kept being mildly plagued by thoughts and such all of which came back to me being frightened of the guy because he was pushy and wouldn't take no and was doing things like making everything my fault and dragging that same mutual friend who basically instigated us going out in the first place....causing her to now think I was a terrible man-using skank who was being mean to him. I blame part of that on my inability to properly explain how I was trying to be nice to the ex in how I was saying no...and my completely unintentional omission of how I was becoming afraid of the guy until I had to and she ended up telling me I was a horrible person, etc (this happened in like april 2014, btw because of the 'fair and right' and subsequent phone call the next day where I told him no and that it wouldn't be fair since I like someone else and him also suggesting I date two guys at the same time (which admittedly I had said the night before was the only thing I could come up with...that would satisfy the ex (though I didn't add the last bit) and partially because I was being backed into a corner))). And he'd even left the contacting part to me, it was my deal. He wouldn't contact me unless I contacted him. Not the exact words, but that was the agreement, he'd give me as much time as I needed and I'd let him know when I'd had enough time. Well, I got to the point I realized I didn't want to contact him because of how afraid I'd become of him. And round about the end of july/start of august...I suddenly got contacted my the ex and he was going all 'I've given you more time than anyone else would have, you've taken too long, you're a horrible person, mermerblahblahetc' Caused me to freak out and nearly lose my s**t at the camp I was working, but I held it barely together for the children I was watching because there was this one teacher I was unwilling to leave those kids alone with because of how rude and disrespectful she was to them. I wanted to punch that lady so badly. I ended up arranging a day for the ex and I to meet in person (so I could tell him 'I can't be your friend'; he'd moved from wanting to date me to 'can we be friends?' though the answer remained the same because of the hell he'd put me through)....I informed le boyfriend about it and he asked/offered to be there..or maybe I asked and he half offered..but point is the boyfriend was willing to be there....what ended up happening was my sister went along (which had been part of my plan all along because I needed her there to see what he had been doing/saying to me) and the boyfriend had work but was checking up on me to make sure I was okay. During the 'conversation' we had, I spent a good majority of it just not talking because I was either about to flip my s**t on the ex or I was feeling backed into a corner. I did say things to the guy but he kept semi-brushing them off and making it kinda my fault somehow....so eventually I just let my sister at him (she'd been giving me the 'you want me to go? I wanna go, let me at him' eyes for a while but I was trying to be nice...then I just couldn't handle it anymore so I let her go) and she dressed him down for how he'd been saying he accepted me...while actually saying that he didn't really accept me and that things were my fault, etcetc and that took enough off of me that I could finally speak again. At the end of the whole thing, I finally told him (the second time in the conversation, apparently he hadn't heard me the first time or because it wasn't what he wanted to hear he 'didn't hear it' initially) 'It's not a question of if I want to be your friend, I can't be your friend because I am afraid of you.' and he finally was all 'well I'll stop trying to be your friend if you don't think it will work out'. I was super happy but still completely a mess because I was in the same room as the guy who'd put me through a lot. But as we went to leave, he said 'if you want to be my friend again, call me.' (not verbatim but it's the 100% correct gist) ....which was completely in the face of the whole 'I'll stop trying' he'd just said. But hey, he'd said he'd leave me alone! I was free! The weight lifted off of me was huge and I felt so much better. Then at the end of august.....guess what. He contacted me. He asked if I was going to the japanese festival, because he didn't want us to run into each other and it cause problems for either of us......but he also asked if we could have a short conversation about what had been talked about in the in-person meeting we'd had but if I didn't want to he's never contact me again....which caused me to burst into an 'I thought this was over! Why can't he get it, what did I not make clear?! WHY ME?!' crying fit. I told 'right now I will only address the second part', about the japanese festival. I should have told him outright no, but I was afraid once again and just wanted him to go away.....so I finally blocked him on facebook like I'd been meaning to for a while but had never gotten around to, partially because I forgot and partially because I was afraid that if I did that something would happen and I just wanted it to go away... Because I blocked him without addressing the first bit, he texted me angrily, called me childish and other names and said how he 'couldn't have romantic feelings for someone as childish as you' (close to verbatim). I, not wanting him to go about slandering my name, very stupidly, tried to explain why I did what I did....and he asked if he could call me, I told him no but he called me anyway...and somewhere in the texts and phone call he asked if we could just go back to being friends. So I got him to leave me alone YET AGAIN, for a month this time after the which if I didn't contact him, he had full rights to contact me. Before the month was up I contacted him over facebook, which surprised him....but I was not about to let him have the control this time. So I explained exactly why I could not be his friend, in great detail....most of the which he shrugged off as 'oh, it;s not my fault but your father's fault because what you're afraid of in my behavior is based on what your father has done to you so I'm scot-free'....and he managed to turn it from me telling him no and getting him to leave me alone forever in maybe three - ten messages...to multiple hours and another day as well. He told me how I'd done horrible things to him, how I'd broken all kinds of promises....when in truth he'd broken every single promise he'd made to leave me alone and stop trying...and I might have broken one promise I think maybe. I got called more names, he did more of the things I've come to absolutely fear; turning things around and back on me whilst taking no responsibility and backing me into a corner where I feel so trapped I don't just end things but end up giving another chance for more damage to be done. On the other day, more of the same happened AND he actually tried to make it yet another day after that because he wanted to talk to his therapist (who I'd somehow managed to get/inspire him to go to because he was trying to use me as his therapist...about me...back in march/april 2014) and because of the very slightly bitchy way in which I told him that I had a problem with that, it finally initiated the permanent leaving me alone stuff. At the end of all of it, on october 2, 2014, he did what he'd done the last time we'd had a long conversation about why I could not be his friend because I was afraid of him: he ended the conversation with his email address....in case I ever wanted to be friends with him again. (he asked if I wanted it, I said 'do whatever you want', because I just wanted it over...and he left his email) During the stuff that happened in september/october my boyfriend was kept informed about it. One time he was going to say something probably akin to 'leave my girlfriend alone' to the ex...which was something he'd done to the guy before...for one of his ex-girlfriends. But I asked him not to, because I had to do this myself or I'd never be free of it, and he followed my request. Two other times my boyfriend said that he was either going to or 'if I see him I'm likely to' punch the ex, for all the problems the guy had caused me. Since october 2, I have not heard or seen anything from the ex. I am absolutely positive that if I ever run into the guy I will have something akin to a panic attack and I don't know if I'd be able to hold it together long enough to get to some mildly private area to flip out or not... Which reminds me that I need to tell my bosses at Teavana about this possibility, however slim it may be, since I'm now working at a mall the guy is marginally more likely to visit at some point. (he's not likely to go to a mall ever....but if he did, it's fairly likely it'd be the one I work at)
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:51 pm
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama ....yeah...never anything that bad...
Just doctors doing idiotic things like give someone the double male dose of a drug...when that was two times the allowable amount for a female....
(and ouch, those are super nasty. I hope your Grandmother got better after they finally figured stuff out)
Oh, I hide in my room a fair bit.....but that causes problems for others and gets me into trouble for not doing house work.
It also doesn't help that I'm an extrovert....with one person who is the best at recharging my batteries....
Who I don't get to see as often as I want and sometimes need.
Agreed.
Though I can handle one dog just fine.
But it also so happens that he think I and my mother are his mother...
So he has mommy (me) and other mommy (my mom)
But I prefer animals I don't have to remember to take care of.
This reminds me....I need to either teach my dog how to sleep alone....get him a bed thing I can put near my bed....or teach him bed-sharing etiquette.
That dude, even if he's about the size of a loaf of bread, can be very problematic...
Warm, cuddly, and adorable.
But problematic.
Ah, yes. Overdosing patients. That seems to be a favorite among bad doctors.
(Oh, yeah. Much better. Thank you. She wasn't even able to walk for months, but that was a couple years ago now.)
There are days when my parents won't see me once even though I live with them. I just can't deal with other people, so I stay in my room for the most part.
They've long since given up on getting me to do housework. As long as my room doesn't look like those Hoarders shows, and my dishes get into the dishwasher, we're golden. Oh, and as long as my laundry doesn't stay in the dryer for too long.
I'm a definite introvert. People are exhausting and sometimes make me want to cry.
I am so glad I never allow animals in my room. If I had something trying to sleep with me, I'd go nuts.
We used to have a bad cat who peed everywhere, so he ruined it for the rest of the pets.
Little dogs are mostly untrainable, so good luck. =] |
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 3:02 am
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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama I know the fake antiques and such...
Totally forgot about the 'not likely have adult bike' part.
Because I've been to huge community garage sales before...and those have damn near everything.
True.
My plan is to have as little to take as possible. If I end up moving in with le bf, no need to worry about a mattress, methinks. Plus, besides having randomly acquired things like an entire set of china (good china I might add), I really only have clothes, some books, my computer, some tcg stuff, maybe a crosstitch thing or two, and possibly my dog (and some tea stuff). I'm fairly sure my mother will not want me to take all of the crosstitch things and I have no idea about my dog, because people here are rather attached to him and my boyfriend is apparently somewhat allergic to dogs, but it's not a major allergy. So basically, my plan is to get rid of the trash and useless/unnecessary stuff so I only have what I really need....and that's not just an 'in case I move', but an in general 'to keep room cleaner' thing.
Basically, I'm worried I'd get sucked into 'must make him marry me so he won't leave me' land. A place I do not want to be in. Ever. And the worrying people will poof thing is based on people often 'checking out' on me. Be they friends or boyfriends, I've had quite a few people just....stop talking even though I tried talking and maintaining the friendship....or similar things...and I'm left there trying to figure out what is going on and why.
I've been to that kind of game shop more than I've ever been to anything like gamestop. He's a very logical person, much like myself. He's probably also just as self-depreciating as I am as well...though the only inkling I have about that comes from the comment 'stop that, only one of us can be self-depreciating'. I've never actually heard him say bad things about himself...though I can usually guess when he is thinking them based on other things. And....that...well....okay. I'll just accept you wanting to meet him and thank and stuff. It's simpler that way.
The ex: during 2013, I had a friend, pretty neat guy who I felt like I could say anything to and it would not cause a problem. This means I said a lot of things that later on I realized I shouldn't have; for example, I was completely not bothered by telling him what my nipples looked like after he asked for...particular reasons. Shoulda realized that was a red flag, but at the time (august 2013), I wasn't really worried because 'eh, whatever'. During this time (fall 2013), the future ex knew for a fact that I was interested in my now boyfriend, but he had a girlfriend and was likely busy so I didn't want to bother him, especially since I knew I wouldn't be able to keep from being very obvious I still liked him. Figured that wasn't fair to his then girlfriend and I also wasn't terribly (consciously) bothered by him having a girlfriend. Sometime in september/october, the future ex basically asked me out, but more in an 'if I asked you, would you say yes' manner. Apparently this idea had been given to him by a mutual friend and him asking was basically instigated by her. I said 'no, you're a friend'. Two days later, I had changed my mind because of 'well, maybe I am wrong and I do like him as more than a friend'. So we were 'together' from then to late january. Now, keep in mind that I'd had in the back of my head this knowledge that things were very likely going to end badly, but even with that knowledge, I could do little to prevent it...even though I tried really hard. Now, late november until the end of january, the future ex did not talk to me basically at all. I tried talking to him six times, getting little to no response in return. I got fed up with that and I also realized I had been initially correct, I only liked him as a friend. This realization may have been slightly helped along by the face that around about christmas/new years, my now boyfriend contacted me and was all 'we haven't talked in forever!' and the resulting conversations made me so much happier and I realized I still liked him. But I'm not a two-timing jerk, so all we did was talk and hang out....by ourselves....like twice. Which looking back, those could have technically been considered dates, but I was happily oblivious to that fact. Anyway, I broke up with the ex at the end of january and he did not talk to me or anything after, which I was fine with as I figured he was probably upset. Then round about march, he contacts me and had done a complete 180 to how he was before we went out together. Confused the hell out of me, but I figured he'd gotten over things and was mature enough and capable enough to just be friends. I was very wrong. I ended up learning about his family life, how he is depressive, bi-sexual, used as a 17-yr-old pawn in his parent's divorce...lots of things....and then the weird comments started happening. Apparently he had a couple dreams in which I was...erm...doing things. Or when I'd say something like how I was drinking chocolate milk, the image of him drinking chocolate milk /from my boobs/ appeared in his head. He then started trying to get me to give him a second chance, which I kept telling him no to. He called me a couple times, one of the times he badgered me so much I got backed into a corner and I said 'it would be fair and right' a few times, which he took to mean 'yes'. Which it obviously was not a yes if you weren't in 'super ******** hopeful and slightly delusional' land. I even told him I liked another guy and to give him a second chance when I like someone else would be completely unfair to him (which it would). I even unintentionally made him cry more than once, because he was that hopeful and whatever about it. Then I learned that he'd had dreams in which I was walking down an aisle towards him wearing a white dress... By this point, I was starting to get scared of him, because I kept telling him no, he kept not understanding, he kept badgering me and I even nearly gave in at one point...but because I forced my boyfriend to tell me if he was interested in me (he said 'yes, but I don't have the time to dedicate to a relationship right now', which I though was very honorable of him to say), I was able to say no. The ex had even been trying to tell me that my now boyfriend wasn't the right person for me and he wasn't a good person...but I mostly ignored it because I knew it was more a 'I want you with me' than him actually being concerned for me. I finally snapped at him near the end of april and got him to agree to leave me alone until august so we could both de-stress from the whole thing, as I knew if we didn't do this we would never be able to be friends. However. That tuesday he went to play some tabletop game at the game shop near his apartment....the game shop my boyfriend works at. I had learned in the midst of being badgered to pieces that the ex and my boyfriend had not just merely been in a class together, but knew each other rather well, as my boyfriend was the GM of whichever tabletop game the ex played once a week. The ex had flipped out at one point and stopped going because my boyfriend was there and, not that he said this, he was the guy taking me away from him so looking at my boyfriend was painful...but he got over it. So at one of these games my not-yet-at-the-time boyfriend ran, he mentioned that on wednesday he had a date. And the ex immediately assumed the other person involved was me...and he contacted me...drunk....to ask if it was me. Which it was, though I'd had no idea it was a date. (yes, I'm that dense and yes, my boyfriend did not use the word date when asking me; the date ended up not happening but I did not tell the ex that) So the previous agreement of leaving me alone until august evaporated instantly. I went back to having to deal with someone badgering me...and then I learned that the ex blew up at my boyfriend and vented...about me. This happened either a day or two before or a few days after we actually went on the date that never happened. I ended up the early part of may having to point blank ask 'so...does this mean I'm your girlfriend?'...because it was never actually said and while I was fairly certain...I wanted to be 100% sure. I had been telling the boyfriend about some of the goings on tied to the ex, but he wasn't super up in arms over it...partially because I was kinda downplaying it. But also partially because I had, yet again, gotten the ex to agree to leave me alone...so for about a month and a half, I didn't have to directly deal with the ex...but I kept being mildly plagued by thoughts and such all of which came back to me being frightened of the guy because he was pushy and wouldn't take no and was doing things like making everything my fault and dragging that same mutual friend who basically instigated us going out in the first place....causing her to now think I was a terrible man-using skank who was being mean to him. I blame part of that on my inability to properly explain how I was trying to be nice to the ex in how I was saying no...and my completely unintentional omission of how I was becoming afraid of the guy until I had to and she ended up telling me I was a horrible person, etc (this happened in like april 2014, btw because of the 'fair and right' and subsequent phone call the next day where I told him no and that it wouldn't be fair since I like someone else and him also suggesting I date two guys at the same time (which admittedly I had said the night before was the only thing I could come up with...that would satisfy the ex (though I didn't add the last bit) and partially because I was being backed into a corner))). And he'd even left the contacting part to me, it was my deal. He wouldn't contact me unless I contacted him. Not the exact words, but that was the agreement, he'd give me as much time as I needed and I'd let him know when I'd had enough time. Well, I got to the point I realized I didn't want to contact him because of how afraid I'd become of him. And round about the end of july/start of august...I suddenly got contacted my the ex and he was going all 'I've given you more time than anyone else would have, you've taken too long, you're a horrible person, mermerblahblahetc' Caused me to freak out and nearly lose my s**t at the camp I was working, but I held it barely together for the children I was watching because there was this one teacher I was unwilling to leave those kids alone with because of how rude and disrespectful she was to them. I wanted to punch that lady so badly. I ended up arranging a day for the ex and I to meet in person (so I could tell him 'I can't be your friend'; he'd moved from wanting to date me to 'can we be friends?' though the answer remained the same because of the hell he'd put me through)....I informed le boyfriend about it and he asked/offered to be there..or maybe I asked and he half offered..but point is the boyfriend was willing to be there....what ended up happening was my sister went along (which had been part of my plan all along because I needed her there to see what he had been doing/saying to me) and the boyfriend had work but was checking up on me to make sure I was okay. During the 'conversation' we had, I spent a good majority of it just not talking because I was either about to flip my s**t on the ex or I was feeling backed into a corner. I did say things to the guy but he kept semi-brushing them off and making it kinda my fault somehow....so eventually I just let my sister at him (she'd been giving me the 'you want me to go? I wanna go, let me at him' eyes for a while but I was trying to be nice...then I just couldn't handle it anymore so I let her go) and she dressed him down for how he'd been saying he accepted me...while actually saying that he didn't really accept me and that things were my fault, etcetc and that took enough off of me that I could finally speak again. At the end of the whole thing, I finally told him (the second time in the conversation, apparently he hadn't heard me the first time or because it wasn't what he wanted to hear he 'didn't hear it' initially) 'It's not a question of if I want to be your friend, I can't be your friend because I am afraid of you.' and he finally was all 'well I'll stop trying to be your friend if you don't think it will work out'. I was super happy but still completely a mess because I was in the same room as the guy who'd put me through a lot. But as we went to leave, he said 'if you want to be my friend again, call me.' (not verbatim but it's the 100% correct gist) ....which was completely in the face of the whole 'I'll stop trying' he'd just said. But hey, he'd said he'd leave me alone! I was free! The weight lifted off of me was huge and I felt so much better. Then at the end of august.....guess what. He contacted me. He asked if I was going to the japanese festival, because he didn't want us to run into each other and it cause problems for either of us......but he also asked if we could have a short conversation about what had been talked about in the in-person meeting we'd had but if I didn't want to he's never contact me again....which caused me to burst into an 'I thought this was over! Why can't he get it, what did I not make clear?! WHY ME?!' crying fit. I told 'right now I will only address the second part', about the japanese festival. I should have told him outright no, but I was afraid once again and just wanted him to go away.....so I finally blocked him on facebook like I'd been meaning to for a while but had never gotten around to, partially because I forgot and partially because I was afraid that if I did that something would happen and I just wanted it to go away... Because I blocked him without addressing the first bit, he texted me angrily, called me childish and other names and said how he 'couldn't have romantic feelings for someone as childish as you' (close to verbatim). I, not wanting him to go about slandering my name, very stupidly, tried to explain why I did what I did....and he asked if he could call me, I told him no but he called me anyway...and somewhere in the texts and phone call he asked if we could just go back to being friends. So I got him to leave me alone YET AGAIN, for a month this time after the which if I didn't contact him, he had full rights to contact me. Before the month was up I contacted him over facebook, which surprised him....but I was not about to let him have the control this time. So I explained exactly why I could not be his friend, in great detail....most of the which he shrugged off as 'oh, it;s not my fault but your father's fault because what you're afraid of in my behavior is based on what your father has done to you so I'm scot-free'....and he managed to turn it from me telling him no and getting him to leave me alone forever in maybe three - ten messages...to multiple hours and another day as well. He told me how I'd done horrible things to him, how I'd broken all kinds of promises....when in truth he'd broken every single promise he'd made to leave me alone and stop trying...and I might have broken one promise I think maybe. I got called more names, he did more of the things I've come to absolutely fear; turning things around and back on me whilst taking no responsibility and backing me into a corner where I feel so trapped I don't just end things but end up giving another chance for more damage to be done. On the other day, more of the same happened AND he actually tried to make it yet another day after that because he wanted to talk to his therapist (who I'd somehow managed to get/inspire him to go to because he was trying to use me as his therapist...about me...back in march/april 2014) and because of the very slightly bitchy way in which I told him that I had a problem with that, it finally initiated the permanent leaving me alone stuff. At the end of all of it, on october 2, 2014, he did what he'd done the last time we'd had a long conversation about why I could not be his friend because I was afraid of him: he ended the conversation with his email address....in case I ever wanted to be friends with him again. (he asked if I wanted it, I said 'do whatever you want', because I just wanted it over...and he left his email) During the stuff that happened in september/october my boyfriend was kept informed about it. One time he was going to say something probably akin to 'leave my girlfriend alone' to the ex...which was something he'd done to the guy before...for one of his ex-girlfriends. But I asked him not to, because I had to do this myself or I'd never be free of it, and he followed my request. Two other times my boyfriend said that he was either going to or 'if I see him I'm likely to' punch the ex, for all the problems the guy had caused me. Since october 2, I have not heard or seen anything from the ex. I am absolutely positive that if I ever run into the guy I will have something akin to a panic attack and I don't know if I'd be able to hold it together long enough to get to some mildly private area to flip out or not... Which reminds me that I need to tell my bosses at Teavana about this possibility, however slim it may be, since I'm now working at a mall the guy is marginally more likely to visit at some point. (he's not likely to go to a mall ever....but if he did, it's fairly likely it'd be the one I work at)
i've never been to a huge community garage sale, the closest thing being the packwood swap meet that's held every year. but i've only been there once. but yeah, most normal single-family garage sales don't have adult sized bikes, so my best chances are either craigslist or buying one brand new
that's definitely a good plan, and i suppose you're right on the not needing to take a mattress thing. though i wish you luck in being able to take your dog; it's no fun having to leave your pet behind, even if you can still visit them
i can't blame you for not ever wanting to go there. and i apologize for having been one of those people back when contact was lost; the laptop i'd been using died and i couldn't remember the program that'd been used nor the account info, and for some reason it never crossed my mind to use gaia to stay in contact
i should go to them more often tbh, they're fairly interesting. though the closest one is like. 10 miles away. kinda makes it more difficult to visit it casually. and since that comment was made, he's probably a thinker of thoughts rather than a sharer of thoughts, which is one thing he and i have in common. if that's actually the case, that is. and good; it'd be confusing to try and explain or debate or whatever on that specific topic
wow, you were right. that was a really long story, and i'm not sure what to address on it first. i'll just comment on a few things out of order from when they were told. i'm glad that he has your back as strongly as he does, thine boyfriend, and i would've offered the same for any of my friends. boy or girl, nobody harasses my friends to that point. and guys like the ex are why i much prefer to be friends with girls than with guys; they're less likely to pull that kind of bullshit. guys think they're entitled to friendship or more with women because they want it, and it's just gross. and why the heck would someone even imagine drinking chocolate milk from someone's mammary glands just because they mentioned they were themselves drinking chocolate milk from a glass? that's just plain weird |
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