[PRP] The Past Catches Up (Tope and Jini)

[Kimaria]

She had not slept well since her son had left. Not because she worried for his safety - he was a capable lion, after all. No. She was restless because of who he travelled with. Fate had dealt her a terrible hand and now she was left reeling in the aftermath.

He had golden fur. Green eyes. That blaze of his mother's red in his mane. Jini had no doubt about it. That lion was the little cub that she and her mate had seen out in the desert. He was the child of the one they had slain. And she shivered in fright at the thought of it. To think of her past finally catching up with her. It had been a long time coming but she wasn't surprised. She had been waiting for it, in a way. Waiting for punishment. She had taken a life and now hers was to be taken as payment. It would be a relief, too, perhaps, to have it ended. Life had been hard and sad. Death, at least, would see her back with her mother and grandmother.

Death could be a release.

But what of her dear, dear Tope? Without him she wouldn't have even made it this far.

Perhaps it was time for the two of them to talk on this. On the future. On facing what they had done.

 

[Split Personality]

Tope was not oblivious to his mates emotions. He never had been. He knew how she was, how she reacted to the events... she was never meant to be like this. While she felt guilt for what they had done, Tope felt guilt for not feeling sorrow at all. He felt bad he did suppose; but not enough to dwell on it. He had suffered his grandfathers emotions; his ability to do wrong and feel no remorse. He had allowed his beloved to go through with this; to feel so much... so much sadness.

He had watched their son go with the child who's mother they had slain and been silent since then; which was okay as Jini had not slept. It was a sort of an awkward silence but Tope could sense something was up; something had changed in Jini... and it frightened the stern lion.

He had gone for a walk and returned a few hours later; intent on trying to make her feel better... but he knew nothing would. He simply walked up beside her and sat down; his pink eyes somber  

[Kimaria]

He came and sat beside her and the silence between them broke with a few, hoarse words, so heartfelt that it hurt her heart to speak them.

"He needs to know."

She was tired of living this lie. Tired of pretending that she was a nice, kind lioness who had lived her life to its fullest. She felt like she'd been a shall of herself since the day that had taken care of vengeance and fled the desert with the Firekin's blood staining her paws. Unconsciously she rubbed her paws against the grass, as if fearing that they were covered in blood.

"But what do we tell him, Tope, my love? I cannot go on like this. I've..." Her eyes burned with hot tears. "I've been dying every day since...waiting for someone to come seek revenge for the life we took. But it never came and so I continued to die this lingering death....continued to..." She shut her jaws over the words and pressed her face in against Tope's shoulder.

She was at such a loss.  

[Split Personality]

Tope did not expect her to speak. He was a bit stunned at her willingness to speak about it. He turned to her and observed her with his pink eyes soft and adoring; but his heart beating for her. He nodded his head. There was no mistaking the fact that they had to tell them. Both of them. Their daughter kinamasi had long gone on her own way; and she could live life without knowing as she suspected her to not return. He embraced her and held her quietly; not sure what to say.

"My darling... I think those are the strongest words you have spoken since the day in the desert. " He said softly, holding her with his large paws and his mane engulfing her. "You have... lived your life under a dark cloud that... I think needs to not be apart of us anymore." He shut his eyes.

"It is destined for that child to be apart of us... some how."  

[Kimaria]

She kept her face turned against him, shaking as he returned her words with some of his own. It was his love and his love alone that had kept her going through all these dark days and he who would help pull her through once all this was said and done.

But if that golden lion wanted to kill her, he would get no fight from her. She would stand and accept it as was right. And she would be grateful.

"He is grown...and healthy." She choked out, hardly believing it. "He is...a miracle." A tear escaped her eye and blotted against Tope's fur. "All this time and I thought him dead." She closed her eyes and pressed closer against him still. "Our son...will not forgive us, will he?"  

[Split Personality]

Tope smiled at her mentioned the boys health. Not because of his ability to hurt them if so desired; but because he had thrived... he was healthy. He was a strong lion to be able to survive what he had; somehow he had. He nodded. "He is so strong... I wonder how it happened! He is so very much alive and thriving... I am actually happy to see him... The idea of him dead... I agree... he... is so strong." He felt some sort of honor in being allowed to see him again.

"He is a miracle." He said softly, holding her. "Our son will forgive us. If things had not happened as they did; he would not be traveling the lands with a friend... a companion... A friend." He looked down at her. "We have to try."  

[Kimaria]

She shook her head in disbelief. Perhaps someone had come across him in the sands, maybe drawn to the scent of his mother's blood...or maybe his cries had been carried by those blasting winds to some nearby patrol.

But as much as it hurt, Jini was not a positive thinker and all she could think of was a golden lion's fury and the horror in her son's face.

"And if the golden one wants vengeance for what we did to his mother, what then?"

She had been such a fool in youth. She had been destroyed by the loss of her mother. So what had she done? She'd gone and taken someone else's mother. Repeating the cycle over and over again.  

[Split Personality]

Tope simply shrugged. "If he seeks revenge; we have no reason to not take his blows. But I will not let him touch you..." His fur prickled against her and a growl was on the tip of his tongue. He knew that Jini would let the boy attack her and possibly kill her and he would never allow that. "I will not let him kill you. You are all I have Jini." He said softly. And his words were true. His parents were deceased. His family wide spread and many he had not met. He could not go back to his birthplace. He was simply alone.

"I will not allow it." He said sternly; his eyes squeezing shut. "Even if you will it..." He added  

[Kimaria]

"But it is no less than I deserve." Jini replied, pulling back away from him for the first time since he had moved to sit beside her. Self-loathing coloured her eyes so that they blazed in her masked face. "How can I deny him that right when I craved it myself when I was younger?"

Oh how her mother would weep to see her now.

But she loved Tope, despite how awful everything else was. He was her one light. Her one hope.

"I will not harm another, Tope and...I can't permit you, too, either." Her eyes pleaded with him. "If my death brings an end to this, then I will be granted a better death than I deserve."  

[Split Personality]

Tope got a look on her face when she pulled away and spoke. He looked distressed. He would never allow it. Ever. He stood up and his fur began to bristle even more; his eyes half lidded. He began to pace. "I will NEVER allow that Jini... EVER." He turned to her and the desperate tears rolling down his cheeks began to leave a dark trail. "I will never allow you to die on me. Not until we are old. Not until we are like my parents and happy and read to go. You are NOT ready to die! Look at you Jini!"

He turned to face her. "We have so much life left... so much to live for and all we have to do is... do it. We could have a life. Grand kids. More children! Happiness! Everything. We may even have a life with that child... with our son... " He began to sob. "I will not give up on us Jini... ever..."  

[Kimaria]

He was angry and she was...not. She couldn't remember how it felt to have that heat raging in her veins. It had been so long ago. But she stood, quietly, and moved across to where he paced, licking his face where the tears escaped from his eyes.

She felt like this was out of her control, but whatever happened would happen. She had resigned herself to that.

And, not knowing what else to say, she leaned against him and - with tears in her own eyes - told him that she loved him. And she would continue to love him until the day she died...whenever that might be.


/fin