| preferences, preferences |
| just date everybody |
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100% |
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 Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:40 am
Number = number of people they have slept with.
I still don't know how I feel about it. Like.
This is one of those annoying feelings I have where part of me is normal and mature like
Well they slept with all those people before they met me, there's nothing wrong with that.
And part of me feels sort of weirded out like, am I just a number as well, is sex some kind of meaningless thing to this person?
When I was first with Jeremy he was like oh yeah I'm at like 22 or 24 and I was like s**t THAT'S A LOT
but after talking to this girl in my class, she told me her bf was at 64 (she was 65) and to me, that is extremely excessive. like I could not get over that. Like it would make me a uncomfortable for sure, even if they were clean.
I dunno, how does everyone feel about this?
not like it matters cause i dont have a man or anything but would it ever affect your decision to be with someone?
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:02 pm
I can't understand why someone would be worried about numbers. Unless they're excessively slutty towards like, everyone, it can't hurt to have a high number.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:30 pm
Great Scoot I can't understand why someone would be worried about numbers. Unless they're excessively slutty towards like, everyone, it can't hurt to have a high number. 
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:33 pm
Great Scoot I can't understand why someone would be worried about numbers. Unless they're excessively slutty towards like, everyone, it can't hurt to have a high number. so how do you draw a line saying well this is excessively slutty you have slept with over 50 people or no you've slept with 50 people but you did it in a non excessively slutty way. isn't the general act of sleeping around / fooling around with a lot of people 'slutty'? so what I'm saying is how can you have a high number and not be considered slutty? I don't think you can. I mean yeah it's depending on each person their definition of slutty but when you get in the high numbers how do you defend that it's not being 'excessively slutty'
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:36 pm
Yeah it matters to me right now.
As I get older I can see it being a bit less important, but I just can't fathom how someone our age could have slept with 65+ people and not be considered slutty?
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:08 pm
it matters because i don't want an std and if you're sleeping with a bunch of people then the likelihood of you having herpes or something goes up.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:02 pm
No. And I think slut-shaming is stupid. Like I might not agree with someone sleeping with a ton of people, but it doesn't make them worth any less. Unless they're really shitty about it.
If they don't have an std then whateva. I might be surprised by the number but a number doesn't effect our relationship.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:18 pm
It's one of the things I don't like. At all. I don't find the person slutty but I just don't want them to have slept with anyone but me. It's hard just dealing with the idea Anjel has slept with one person. I try not to think about it. It helps that he regrets the entire relationship [not that I urge him to or that I expect him to, but I have talked about the girl before and she is, for lack of a better word, psycho] but even then it's just hard for me. Maybe because I was still a virgin? Or just because I always held sex in a high regard. idk. it doesn't make someone particularly slutty to me. I think it's pretty gross if you've slept with a bunch of people day after day and while dating someone but like, I have a lot of friends who've had sex with a lot of different people and it doesn't effect me. I don't particularly know how to explain why I feel the way I do about it. xD
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:13 pm
Mine matters to me. I went celibate for two years because I was terrified of sleeping wiht new people. Every time I had before I went celibate I just had this sinking feeling that I was a worthless, useless whore.
For a guy, I don't know. My mother finds the fact that I had slept with four people by the time I had my first gyno exam disturbing, just as I find people who have slept with dozens of people disturbing. Generational differences?
When I was younger, I was extremely turned off when a guy I liked told me about (in his words a really stupid) bet he had with a friend, that whoever got to 100 first, won.
He said he stopped at 27 when his friend tested HIV positive and it scared him. I found that very unnerving.
But I was also 18 and less than a year since I'd lost my virginity, so now I would probably not be so unnerved or intimidated.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:29 pm
Xiporah Mine matters to me. I went celibate for two years because I was terrified of sleeping wiht new people. Every time I had before I went celibate I just had this sinking feeling that I was a worthless, useless whore. thiiiiiiisssssss. i am not proud of my number... i've called off sex for an undetermined amount of time, but it'll most likely be years. ugh now that i'm thinking about it i'm uuugghhh =____=
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:45 pm
Judging a person based on this number doesn't make me feel very good about myself, doesn't make most people feel very good about themselves and genuinely doesn't matter to me unless a ******** for you is as impersonal as a handshake is for me. But that's just me.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:55 pm
LeRaven Great Scoot I can't understand why someone would be worried about numbers. Unless they're excessively slutty towards like, everyone, it can't hurt to have a high number. so how do you draw a line saying well this is excessively slutty you have slept with over 50 people or no you've slept with 50 people but you did it in a non excessively slutty way. isn't the general act of sleeping around / fooling around with a lot of people 'slutty'? so what I'm saying is how can you have a high number and not be considered slutty? I don't think you can. I mean yeah it's depending on each person their definition of slutty but when you get in the high numbers how do you defend that it's not being 'excessively slutty' It has nothing to do with numbers. It has to do with how they conduct themselves while they're my SO. Their number doesn't mean anything (Except grounds for a high five maybe.) Just as long as they aren't still looking to increase it with me or something when I'm expecting a relationship. EDIT: And obviously, they should be clean. That's the only risk I can think of. This all seems like common sense to me. "He/she ******** THIS MANY!" So? "They can't be trusted!" How do you know? You're dating them, why would you date someone you don't trust? "They probably have an STD!" Then get them tested?
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:32 pm
marzipancakes No. And I think slut-shaming is stupid. Like I might not agree with someone sleeping with a ton of people, but it doesn't make them worth any less. Unless they're really shitty about it. If they don't have an std then whateva. I might be surprised by the number but a number doesn't effect our relationship.
yeah this
I feel like as long as they're honest about it and they respect the fact that I want to have a very low number of partners, then it's fine.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:27 pm
I don't know his. He wont tell me.
Which bothers me more than I think the number would.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:33 am
I'm more self-conscious of any long-term serious relationships they've had in the past, than with the number of people they've slept with.
Also the whole slut or not dynamic seems petty to me. It seems indicative of a very conservative and traditional attitude to sex which I don't share particularly. What's wrong with someone who just enjoys sex to a healthy degree?
It's one thing if they're exploitative and lead people on and break people's heart all the time, which is indicative of a character flaw more than anything else. It's quite another if they just enjoy sex and seek it out in a healthy way.
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