Welcome to Gaia! ::

My best friend Louis whom I knew from when we were little killed himself He OD.

His life defo wasn't prefect, when he was 7 he watched his little sister (chloe age 2) drown...he tryed to help her but he was only little too.
He always felt guilty about that, after that his parents faught alot, and spilt in the end. After a 2 year court struggle his parents both had him one year and then switched.

Recently it was his dads turn, but his mum didn't like this. She doesn't trust him with Louis...so she went for him, she tracked them down and was planning on taking Louis away.

On the morning she was gunna take him away...they found him...laying there on their bathroom floor, he took every tablet in the medcine cuboard.

His mum rang me in the evening after I got home...I just colasped on the ground, I haven't had a very good life either and well Louis was the only thing that kept me going... and now hes gone... I loved him so much but now hes gone...His mum sent me alot of his stuff, stuff she thought he would want me to have.

In a book I found a note addressed to me, It explained why he did it...and all this stuff, I just don't know how to deal with it. How do I deal...Insted of doing something stupid like self harm or anything I have been writing in my journal. IF you would care to read...

http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/index.php?mode=view&p=3083067

So any advice would be useful...I just feel like theres nothing left....the person I loved most in this world is dead please help.

Update: I can't sleep, I dream of him...So I'm tired.
I'm thristy yet no matter how much I drink I do not get rid of the thrist
I can't eat, when I do I find myself not being able to eat alot or I feel sick.

Please help me!

Update: I just feel...so dead. I don't sleep anymore, I can't feel anything. I just...I need help.

.....hmmmm..yes, i would have to agree, professinal help would definatly decrease the ammount of ....well...uselessness and worthlessness your feelings. the lost sensation will still be there but not as pronounced.


i have a question. i know this is a little off tthe topic, but it has a bit of relevance in this pitcular cost.

have you read the book

"Crosses"
?

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=6B81sX3DRZ&isbn=0595269524&itm=3

I'm going through almost the same thing right now.....Bo's not dead yet, but he's tried. He might try again. ********, maybe he tried last night, I just really don't know. I mean, it doesn't seem right to compare my situation to yours - I don't even know him in real life, I met him online. He's not the cause of my depression (? I dunno if I have clinical depression or not) but sometimes it makes it worse. Just waiting....not knowing....see, he used to have a drug problem and I was always scared he was dead somewhere....and yeah, I dream about him too. I always think about him. Everything just seems to kind of weigh me down now.