DAO RELATED JOKES

[Cruor Corvus]

So I found some cool jokes. Check this out:

How many elves do you need to replace a candle?
A good thousand. One to sing the tale of the old, burned-out, candle. One to pretend that it didn't melt and evaporated away, but instead, faded to Arwaxor, the idyllic verdant afterlife of candles. One to remind everyone of the fabled Elven Candles of Old, who were sentient, artistical creatures whose eternal glow was not merely light, but also love, magic, wisdom, and soothing quietness. All the rest to randomly dance and prance meanwhile. Of course, the candle is never changed, but there's no hurry, anyway, since the elves believe they can wait still another millenia or two.

An Elf, a Human and a Dwarf, all old friends, are sitting at a tavern,
talking about the night they had with their wives...

The Human smirks as he says "Damn, but I had fun last night. I f*cked
my wife good last night, about seven times... When we woke up this
morning, she told me she loved me and was going to make my favorite
meals all day.."

The Elf looks at him, then smirks and responds "Well, I only made love
four times to my wife last night, but each time was like a new extatic
experience.. When we awoke this morning, she said we'd spend the rest
of our days together and would surprise me again tonight.."

The Dwarf looks at them both and snorts, drinking his beer silently.
After an uncomfortable of being stared at by the other two, he finally
says "Fine, fine.. My wife and I had intercourse once last night."

The other two blink, until the Elf smirks and asks "Pray, tell us what
she said to you this morning.."

This time, the Dwarf smirks and says "She said.. Please, Honey, don't
stop now..."

A dwarf, an elf, and a human were shipwrecked on a deserted island. There they find a forgotten temple. They make their way to the alter-room where they find a magical ring of wishes.

The dwarf grabs the ring and says "Great! Now I can get home! I wish I was back in the tavern at home surrounded by ale"!

*poof* he's gone!

The elf grabs the ring and says "Finally, I can go home! I wish I was in the tree city, trading tales with the finest poets of our age!"

*poof* he's gone!

The human picks up the ring and says "I'm lonely now. I wish the other two guys were back here."

 

[Cruor Corvus]

Why are Dwarves broad, ruddy, and hairy?
Because is they were small, white, and smooth, they might be mistaken for aspirin.

What do you call ten fairy's with wooden swords?
ELVES!!



An elf, a human, & a dwarf walk into a tavern. The elf orders a wine, the human orders a beer, & the dwarf orders an ale. The barkeep sets their drinks down before them, & each one notices a fly in his drink.

The elf frowns, turns up his nose, & pushes the glass away.

The human frowns, flicks the fly out of his beer, & starts drinking.

The dwarf frowns, carefully picks the fly out of his ale, & yells, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"

A dwarf was on a ship, and for entertainment, a few mage starts to do some magic. First he makes a coin disappear.
"It's up his sleeve, It's up his sleeve" the dwarf yells. Wizard simply ignores the dwarf and suddenly pulls a rabbit out of thin air. "It was in his robes the whole time, I saw it earlier, what a fake" the dwarf yells.
The mage a little angry announces " for my final act I will perform the greatest magic feat you have ever seen" with that the Wizard start to chant, and all of a sudden the ship is struck by lighting and is destroyed.

The only two survivors are the Mage and the dwarf floating on a wooden door. For two whole days the dwarf and the wizard simply stare at each other, when finally the dwarf says.

"OK, you win, what did you do with the boat"

An elf walks into a tavern. He announces to the crowd he's got 100 golden coins for anyone who can drink ten pints of dwarven stout back to back. A hush falls over the room. Dwarven Stout is potent even by dwarf standards. The patrons seem intimidated by the challenge. One dwarf even leaves the bar. When no one accepts, the elf smiles & shrugs then sits down at the end of the bar.

A few minutes later, the dwarf who'd walked out comes back. He goes up to the elf and asks "Are you still offering the 100 gold to drink ten pints of stout in a go?" The elf nods and the dwarf smiles. "Fine!" he says, "Set 'em up!"

With much interest, the other patrons crowd around as the barkeep pours ten mugs of stout and lines them up in front of the dwarf. He reaches for the first mug and drains it in a gulp! One after the other he polishes off the tankards until he tips the last one up and finishes it off! The crowd cheers and the elf -looking impressed- hands over a pouch of gold. As the dwarf accepts his prize money, the barkeep asks him, "Here now. Why'd you take off like that earlier when he first offered the money?"

The dwarf replied, "Oh that! Well, I went over to the tavern next door to first make sure I could do it!"

 

[Demon Knight Draco]

This was a funny glitch i found, in dragon age origins, sometimes at Arl Eamons estate (denerim) the head maid will be floating in the air and you can stand next to her and see that she is floating above your head