General Question. Not Religion Related

[Aakosir]

So I was thinking about this today. And I'm starting to think that I do that too much, the whole thinking thing. But anyways. My husband really does not like when our daughter calls him by his name instead of Daddy. I am really curious why he gets so upset. But then again, I don't have the issue with her calling me by my name instead of Mommy.

But if you were/are a father, would you be/are you upset if/when this happens?  

[ncsweet]

Depends on how old the child is - if he hears other people calling daddy by his given name, he may just be mimicking what he is hearing others do.

When older children do it, it maybe a sign that they are trying to act more grown up.

I think for the anyone, having your child call you by your given name (on a regular basis) is probably a bit off-putting, since it can imply a lacking in the relationship, that the child is trying to keep the parent at a distance...don't know if that makes sense.

I would tell him not to worry too much though, it's probably just a phase, and she'll grow out of it.  

[Pandora the Wonderful]

It depends. I called both my mom and dad by their given/Christian names for a while, more my dad than my mom though, it bothered him a bit at first but he got used to it after a while. *shrug* I don't do it that often anymore, but, eh, sometimes I do.
I wasn't doing to be condescending or grown up, it was just something I started calling them.  

[Aakosir]

I'm pretty sure she picked it up from me calling him by his name. She picks up other stuff like that. Especially his ow... She accidentally hits him and he practically screams "Ow". So what does she do now? Every frickin' time I touch her, I could just be pushing her bangs out of her face, all I get is "Ow!" -.-'

I'm pretty sure a two year old doesn't know much about keeping him distant from her, but kids do some strange things.  

[Eltanin Sadachbia]

I feel a little disrespected when my kids use my name. I know they don't mean disrespect, but the way I was raised was to not address my parents by their names.

I mostly look at it this way though. There are only 2 people in the world who have the right to address me as Mother, and I take pride in having them call me Mom and be proud of it. Anyone can call me Heather, but my children are the only ones who can call me Mom and it mean EVERYTHING that it can mean. Your husband may feel the same way. It is more than just a title.

Of course at your daughter's age, she is just picking things up as she hears them. I have a friend whose husband always calls her Honey. So when her son was 2, and heard Daddy calling Mommy 'Honey', of course he started calling Mom 'Honey' too. The boy is 10 now, and he still calls her 'Honey". LOL.... She gets allot of strange looks in the grocery store.

I am sure your husband probably realizes that she doesn't mean any harm or disrespect, or whatever, but he probably doesn't want his 10 year old daughter calling him by his name either. Your husband, being the way that you describe him as, probably has a genuine respect for the relationship a parent and child have, and he probably would like to see his daughter own that when she is older.

Let's face it. Most people, when they see an older kid addressing their parent by name see it as an act of disrespect, even if you don't see it that way, and sometimes the way other people perceive your relationship with your children can eventually affect the reality of that relationship. So, I wouldn't think of it as an unhealthy concern on the part of your husband.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

I don't see the problem with it. If anything I'd take it as a sign of affection. My cousin knows everyone's real names and uses them intercangeably with "titles". She's five. When she was younger we used to ask her to call in her grandfather from outside and she'd go out and yell "JOOOHHHHNN" just like her grandmother. Hilarious!

She also has two grandmothers and manages to call them both "grandma" without confusion, but sometimes she calls one set of grandparents just "Kerry and Marilyn".

I think it's endearing. It's nice that she sees adults as other humans rather than as what role they play in her life or how she's related to them. A mother is much more than just a mother!  

[Captain_Shinzo]

Aakosir

So I was thinking about this today. And I'm starting to think that I do that too much, the whole thinking thing. But anyways. My husband really does not like when our daughter calls him by his name instead of Daddy. I am really curious why he gets so upset. But then again, I don't have the issue with her calling me by my name instead of Mommy.

But if you were/are a father, would you be/are you upset if/when this happens?

Through the young ages? No. I went through phases like that among other kids. It's just a little point in your early life where you have discovered a new name for your parents and you want to use it. It's no big deal.
However, I would have a problem with teenagers doing it.
Teenagers don't do it for the curiosity or the discovery, but more of the rebellious reason behind it. It's mostly used by my kind to spite their parents for whatever reason, a verbal act of disowning them and making them from parents to adults living with them. Some adults can fully think what I last said, and it eats away at them. However, if she is a young girl, I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, if I was the father, it would all depend on her age how I would react.  

[Aakosir]

Captain_Shinzo

Aakosir

So I was thinking about this today. And I'm starting to think that I do that too much, the whole thinking thing. But anyways. My husband really does not like when our daughter calls him by his name instead of Daddy. I am really curious why he gets so upset. But then again, I don't have the issue with her calling me by my name instead of Mommy.

But if you were/are a father, would you be/are you upset if/when this happens?

Through the young ages? No. I went through phases like that among other kids. It's just a little point in your early life where you have discovered a new name for your parents and you want to use it. It's no big deal.
However, I would have a problem with teenagers doing it.
Teenagers don't do it for the curiosity or the discovery, but more of the rebellious reason behind it. It's mostly used by my kind to spite their parents for whatever reason, a verbal act of disowning them and making them from parents to adults living with them. Some adults can fully think what I last said, and it eats away at them. However, if she is a young girl, I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, if I was the father, it would all depend on her age how I would react.

I would probably slap her if she called us by our names as a teen. I would see that as disrespect.  

[Captain_Shinzo]

Aakosir

Captain_Shinzo

Aakosir

So I was thinking about this today. And I'm starting to think that I do that too much, the whole thinking thing. But anyways. My husband really does not like when our daughter calls him by his name instead of Daddy. I am really curious why he gets so upset. But then again, I don't have the issue with her calling me by my name instead of Mommy.

But if you were/are a father, would you be/are you upset if/when this happens?

Through the young ages? No. I went through phases like that among other kids. It's just a little point in your early life where you have discovered a new name for your parents and you want to use it. It's no big deal.
However, I would have a problem with teenagers doing it.
Teenagers don't do it for the curiosity or the discovery, but more of the rebellious reason behind it. It's mostly used by my kind to spite their parents for whatever reason, a verbal act of disowning them and making them from parents to adults living with them. Some adults can fully think what I last said, and it eats away at them. However, if she is a young girl, I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, if I was the father, it would all depend on her age how I would react.

I would probably slap her if she called us by our names as a teen. I would see that as disrespect.

That is exactly my point.
However, she's obviously a kid? If that's the case, this is nothing new. She will go back to calling you guys "mommy" and "daddy" by the end of this little name period.  

[Chieftain Twilight]

I know that I would feel extremely disheartened if any children of mine were to refer to me by name instead of as my title of parenthood..... one of the most important goals in my life is to be a parent, after all. to hear myself refered to as anything other than a parental title by a child of mine would feel like the biggest sign of my failure as a parent ever....

I know it sounds extreme, but... it's realy... important to me. it's knowing tht they would see me as their dad when I hear it. and if I heard them call me by my name it is like they don't see me as their parent at all. see?

like Elta said, he must realy feel the importance of the parent:child relationship. I know I do. and it hurts to feel like they don't also feel that way.

I wouldn't nessesarilly get angry at my children for it of they called me Zack, or something... but I'd be hurt. deeply. I have no doubt it would hit me like bricks, make my whole world freeze and shatter like glass, and send me sinking into a severe depression. it's a horrifying thought to me. I cannot possibly blame your husband for getting upset about that. sad I would too.  

[Aakosir]

Captain_Shinzo

Aakosir

Captain_Shinzo

Aakosir

So I was thinking about this today. And I'm starting to think that I do that too much, the whole thinking thing. But anyways. My husband really does not like when our daughter calls him by his name instead of Daddy. I am really curious why he gets so upset. But then again, I don't have the issue with her calling me by my name instead of Mommy.

But if you were/are a father, would you be/are you upset if/when this happens?

Through the young ages? No. I went through phases like that among other kids. It's just a little point in your early life where you have discovered a new name for your parents and you want to use it. It's no big deal.
However, I would have a problem with teenagers doing it.
Teenagers don't do it for the curiosity or the discovery, but more of the rebellious reason behind it. It's mostly used by my kind to spite their parents for whatever reason, a verbal act of disowning them and making them from parents to adults living with them. Some adults can fully think what I last said, and it eats away at them. However, if she is a young girl, I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, if I was the father, it would all depend on her age how I would react.

I would probably slap her if she called us by our names as a teen. I would see that as disrespect.

That is exactly my point.
However, she's obviously a kid? If that's the case, this is nothing new. She will go back to calling you guys "mommy" and "daddy" by the end of this little name period.

Yup. It will just take her a little bit.  

[Aakosir]

So I am watching Still Standing right now and the mom and dad are trying to not be the "good cop, bad cop". So they're letting the kids run wild and do whatever, they aren't diciplining the kids at all. So the daughter asks if she can get her naval pierced. She asks mom and dad, they correct her and say "Bill and Trudy" (I think that's their names). This was a light bulb moment. They were trying to act like peers instead of parents.

This is just ironic since I posted this thread a few days ago.  

[Aakosir]

Chieftain Twilight

I know that I would feel extremely disheartened if any children of mine were to refer to me by name instead of as my title of parenthood..... one of the most important goals in my life is to be a parent, after all. to hear myself refered to as anything other than a parental title by a child of mine would feel like the biggest sign of my failure as a parent ever....

I did not even think of failure on a guys part. I am reading this book called For Women Only; What you need to know about the innter lives of men and one of the very first sections talks about men's fear of failure. And it's not just that they couldn't put a shelf together, it's that they are a failure at home or at work. As a woman, I have never thought about men being afraid of failing, but now that I have read that section it makes so much sense!  

[Chieftain Twilight]

Aakosir

Chieftain Twilight

I know that I would feel extremely disheartened if any children of mine were to refer to me by name instead of as my title of parenthood..... one of the most important goals in my life is to be a parent, after all. to hear myself refered to as anything other than a parental title by a child of mine would feel like the biggest sign of my failure as a parent ever....

I did not even think of failure on a guys part. I am reading this book called For Women Only; What you need to know about the innter lives of men and one of the very first sections talks about men's fear of failure. And it's not just that they couldn't put a shelf together, it's that they are a failure at home or at work. As a woman, I have never thought about men being afraid of failing, but now that I have read that section it makes so much sense!

one of my main motivations for everything I do is perfectionism. redface